How to Ask About Getting Your Period

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Getting your period can be a scary and uncertain time in your life. Some people get ridiculed for starting their periods, but it is a natural process that happens to millions of people all around the world. It is perfectly acceptable to have questions about it, and it is important to be informed. [1]

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Preparing Your Questions

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  1. There are a variety of people that you could ask, and some may feel more comfortable than others, in terms of having the conversation. [2] Choose the person with whom you would like to have this conversation, and have a back-up person, just in case.
    • Parent
    • Older sibling
    • Older cousin
    • Grandparent
    • Aunt or uncle
    • Teacher
    • Guidance counselor
    • Doctor or medical professional
    • School nurse
  2. If your mother is not present in your life, and you have no other people with whom you feel comfortable talking to, be prepared to try to have the discussion with a male figure.
    • You could ask your father, uncle, grandfather, male teacher, or a male guidance counselor.
    • Instead of having the conversation with a male figure, you could ask them to connect you with a female they know who would be willing to talk with you about this, like a coworker or neighbor.
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  3. You likely have many questions, and you want to be sure to get all of them answered. Compile them into a list to ask during the conversation.
    • “How old were you when you got your first period?”
    • “What happens during a period?”
    • “What is a menstrual cycle?”
    • “Does having your period hurt?”
    • “How long does a period last?”
    • “What do I need to do to get ready for my period?”
    • “How will I know if I might be having my first period?”
    • “Why do some people get periods?”
    • “Do you know of any books or websites that I can read to get even more information?”
    • “What does it mean when you haven't gotten your period by the 'normal age?'”
    • “What are the differences between different menstrual products?”
  4. This is a sensitive topic for some people, and it can be awkward to talk about getting your period. Plan out when and where you will have this discussion with your chosen trusted person.
    • It might be best to do it at a time when no one else is around or will be interrupting. Perhaps you could arrange it for an evening when you know other family members will be busy out of the house.
    • Have the conversation in a place where you feel comfortable, like at home, in your guidance counselor's office, or in a doctor's office.
  5. It is perfectly acceptable to bring up the conversation on-the-spot, but it could be helpful to pre-arrange when it will take place.
    • Ask your trusted chosen person if they have some time to chat with you after dinner, after school, or at whatever time you had in mind.
    • In the event that you plan to have the conversation with a teacher, guidance counselor, or doctor, you will likely need to schedule an appointment.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Talking about Your Period and Getting Answers

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  1. Especially if you are trying to have this conversation with someone other than a close female family member, this person may not feel comfortable or feel that it is their place to talk about this with you.
    • “I'm hoping to talk with you about getting my period. Do you feel comfortable having that conversation with me?”
    • “I think I might be getting close to having my first period. I feel comfortable talking to you about this, but if you don't feel comfortable, I can talk to someone else about it.”
  2. Once you have confirmed that your chosen trusted person is agreeable to having the conversation with you, start working your way through your list of questions.
    • Give them time to answer each question.
    • If other questions pop into your mind as they are talking, do not be afraid to ask them.
    • Be confident in asking your questions. It is completely normal and natural to have a period, and your chosen trusted adult almost certainly expects you to get yours soon, if you are within the average age range (10-15 years old). [3]
  3. Some people learn best by hearing, but other people learn by copying information onto paper. If you think you will want to be able to come back to this information someday, have a notepad with you during the talk to take notes on what you learn.
  4. Although the conversation might feel a little awkward, it is important to show your appreciation that they took the time to talk with you.
    • “Thank you for talking about this with me. I feel a lot more comfortable and ready for it to happen.”
    • “Having this talk with you really helped me. I know so much more now. Thank you!”
    • “You really helped me learn a lot about getting my period. Thanks for being willing to talk with me.”
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Recognizing Signs and Symptoms

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  1. There are several options for menstrual products, which are the items people use to soak up blood and other fluids during their periods. Some people also refer to these as "feminine products", but this term is inaccurate because people of any gender identity can have periods. Decide which type(s) of menstrual product(s) will be best for you with the help of your chosen trusted person.
    • Disposable pads
    • Cloth pads
    • Tampons
    • Menstrual cups
    • Pantyliners
  2. You never know when you might get your first period. Prepare yourself for it by creating an emergency period kit to carry in your backpack or in a small purse.
    • Keep at least a couple of the menstrual products listed above inside the kit.
    • Use a small makeup bag or a small plastic container to hold your supplies.
  3. There are certain hormonal and physical signs and symptoms of oncoming puberty. Be on the lookout for these signs so that you have a “heads-up” that your period may start soon (most likely sometime within the upcoming months). [4]
    • Breast development
    • Growth of pubic and underarm hair
    • White-colored vaginal discharge
  4. In addition to the hormonal changes that indicate you will soon enter puberty, most people experience other symptoms that are directly related to their periods starting. PMS can happen before every period. [5]
    • Cramps in your abdominal/pelvic region
    • Headaches
    • Mood swings
    • Tender breasts
    • Breakouts on your skin, particularly your face
  5. Talk to your chosen trusted person about scheduling a doctor's appointment if you are assigned female at birth, at least 15 years old, and still have not gotten your first period. There are medical conditions that can prevent someone from getting their period. If you are 15-16 years old and have never had a period, you need to see a medical professional to determine what is going on with your body. [6]
    • Your doctor will run certain tests to determine what your body's hormones are doing. They will also likely ask you questions about your diet and lifestyle and will consider factors such as your height, weight, and family health history.
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Expert Q&A

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      Tips

      • When you get your period, you may not have had any noticeable symptoms. This is also normal, just as long as you are prepared for it to happen, you will be okay.
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      • Your period might come at an unexpected time, so you must always be prepared by keeping supplies tucked into your purse, backpack, binder, or locker.
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      • It is best to have this conversation before you have your first period, so that you can be prepared.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/body/puberty/article12.html
      2. ↑ Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO. Board Certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist. Expert Interview. 3 April 2020.
      3. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/menstruation.html
      4. ↑ Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO. Board Certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist. Expert Interview. 3 April 2020.
      5. ↑ https://www.ubykotex.com.au/menstruation/period-symptoms/
      6. ↑ Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO. Board Certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist. Expert Interview. 3 April 2020.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Asking someone about getting your period can be kind of scary, but periods are totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Choosing who to ask is completely up to you depending on who you feel most comfortable with. You could ask a parent, older sibling, trusted family member, school nurse, guidance counselor, teacher, or other adult you trust. It might be helpful to come up with a list of specific questions you have ahead of time so you don't forget anything. Wait for a time when you can be alone with the other person and you won't have to worry about anyone interrupting you. Be confident asking your questions—having questions about getting your period is normal and expected! For more expert advice, keep reading the full article below.

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      • Manahil Arfeen

        Dec 19, 2016

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