How to Be More Mentally Aware

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Many people long to be more mentally aware of themselves and the world around them. Cultivating mental awareness takes time and practice. Reevaluate yourself and your values, avoid negative thought patterns, and take steps to find balance in day-to-day life.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Increasing Awareness

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  1. 1
    Be observant of your surroundings and senses. If you want to be more mentally aware, the first step is becoming more observant of your surroundings. In your day-to-day activities, try to take stock of the environment, your senses, and your breathing.
    • Walk with purpose. Do not zone out when walking to the bus stop or to work or school. Pay attention to the movement of your body. Take in the scenery. What does your world look like? Smell like? Feel like? Watch the movement of those around you. Be aware of your feet connecting with the ground, your lungs taking in the air, the sense of your clothing against your body. [1]
    • Paying attention to your own breathing can help increase your overall awareness. If you find yourself getting caught up in worry and zoning out of the moment, pause to think of your breaths. Distracting thoughts can be quelled by tuning into breathing as it's a natural and rhythmic bodily process. [2]
    • Pay attention to all your senses. What does morning coffee smell like? Taste like? How does it feel against your tongue? How do you feel about starting off another day? As you drive to work, take stock of the sensation of the steering wheel against your hands, any songs on the radio, what the air smells like through your car's window. Try to stay in the current moment as much as possible by paying attention to your senses. [3]
  2. 2
    Eat mindfully. For many, eating is an activity done in front of the TV or computer. This means you lose track of the sensation and taste of food. This can lead to overeating as well as eating itself becoming less pleasurable. Try to be mindful when you eat.
    • Do not attempt to engage in other activities when you eat. When you eat, eat and do not do anything else. Have regular meals at the table, away from the television. [4]
    • It can also be helpful to eat slowly and pay attention to this bite. This will make food more satisfying to you and make you less likely to crave additional snacks or nourishment later on. [5]
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  3. 3
    Pause between activities. People often rush between day-to-day activities needlessly. This decreases mental awareness and can contribute to feelings of stress. Try to pause between activities. Let the phone ring a few times before it picks up. Take in the sound and think of who might be calling you and why. Feel the door handle for a moment before entering your home. Take short, mini-pauses to feel, observe, and consider the present moment throughout your day. [6]
  4. 4
    Listen. Oftentimes, people get busy and do not listen as mindfully as they should. You end up planning activities in your head while listening, considering how you're going to respond, or making judgment's on the speaker's character. Instead of doing this, listen as fully as possible. Try to focus only on understanding the words the speaker is saying. Trust that, when it's your turn to speak, you'll be able to think of an appropriate response. [7]
  5. Paying attention the present moment, as well as your own thoughts and feelings, is referred to as mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness throughout your daily activities can help increase your overall mental awareness.
    • The first step to mindfulness is simply, as has been discussed above, being aware of the present moment. However, you should also strive to be aware of your own thoughts. Many people find it helpful to have a set time period each day to simply observe your own thoughts. Allow your mind to wander and any worries, concerns, or interests to creep in uninterrupted. Do not try to judge or control your thoughts. Simply be aware of what you're thinking. [8]
    • It can sometimes be helpful to silently name thoughts as they come in. This can help you address negative thoughts without engaging in them or trying to talk yourself out of them. Simply think to yourself "Here is my worry that I'm not as successful as I should be" or "Here is my concern that my friends don't really like me." [9]
  6. 6
    Engage in activities that can increase mindfulness. Certain activities can increase mental awareness and mindfulness. Look for classes in your area that teach such practices. You can also practice some activities at home on your own.
    • Meditation is the process of sitting silently and tuning into your own body and sensations. Many people find guided tutorials online or in books that help them practice meditation. You can also take meditation classes. [10]
    • Yoga is an exercise routine where you move through a series of postures designed to stretch and flex the body. Not only does yoga have benefits for your physical health, it places emphasis on awareness of the present moment. [11] You can take classes at a local yoga studio or find guided yoga routines online.
    • Tai chi is somewhat similar to yoga in that participants are guided through a series of slow movements. You will be asked to pay attention to your body and breathing. Like yoga, you can practice tai chi at home with guided routines or take classes at a local studio. [12]
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    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    As you meditate, focus on being present. By quieting your mind and appreciating the present, you can reduce stress and foster a more positive way of thinking.

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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Reevaluating Yourself

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  1. 1
    Consider your life story. Whether consciously or not, everyone lives by a narrative. The story you tell yourself about your life and experiences matters when it comes to mental awareness. Your understanding of your personal narrative has an impact on your current actions and future goals. [13]
    • Personal mental narratives can be constricting in some ways. For example, you may learn to see yourself as a victim of circumstance. Inaccurate feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can result. In order to become more mentally aware, periodically reevaluate your mental narrative.
    • Look back on your earliest memories. What people, events, and experiences had the greatest impact on you? Why? How do you frame setback in your life narrative? What times in your life did you feel most emotionally and mentally stimulated? Answering these questions can help you see places where negative thought patterns may be tied to an inaccurate view of your life story.
  2. Everyone has core beliefs that they try to live by. Core beliefs are developed both by yourself and by your circumstances. How you behave is often linked to your belief system. Evaluating your belief system can help you become more mentally aware of your own behavior. [14]
    • Identify your core beliefs. Try to write down a list of five values you live by. Then, write down assumptions you also believe. For example, what do you think of other people? Do you feel you can be trusting of others? Why or why not? Think about abstract values. What do you think it means to be a good person? A bad person? Do you react to people in a particular way because they defy your core belief system?
    • Look for examples of black and white thinking in your core beliefs. These types of thought patterns can subtly affect how you interact with other people. You may be unaware of the impact you have on others as a result. Maybe you believe lying is wrong, regardless of the situation. You may then have a tendency to overreact to white lies told to spare your feelings. You may also be too blunt around other people, giving them your version of the truth instead of modifying your response to be more tactful.
    • Look for black and white core beliefs about yourself. Oftentimes, people do not try new things or push themselves hard enough enough to succeed because of inaccurate and self-defeating thoughts. For example, maybe a big rejection earlier in life has led you to convince yourself you'll never find romantic love. You may feel you're not lovable in that way and have stopped dating or seeking out companionship. Therefore, your core belief about yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  3. 3
    Seek honest feedback about yourself. People who are most self aware do not fear criticism. In fact, they seek out honest feedback in order to improve themselves and their behavior. If you want to increase your level of self awareness, seek to do the same.
    • For example, if you're having trouble getting along with someone at work, you could take your concerns to HR. Instead of blaming your co-worker, ask something like "What can I do to get along better with Mike?" This way, you're not leaving the blame on the other person. [15]
    • Everyone has blind spots, that is traits others see in them but they do not see in themselves. Ask trusted friends and family members to be honest about your blind spots. What traits about yourself are you largely unaware of? How do these traits affect your behavior? [16]
    • Many people become defensive when confronting blind spots, especially when blinds spots challenge are inherent sense of identity or force us to confront negative behavioral patterns. Try to let go of your inclination to go on the defense when seeking feedback. Remember, you are striving to become a more mature, mentally aware person. Even if parts of the journey are hard, it will be worth it.
  4. 4
    Take responsibility for your behavior, thoughts, and feelings. One trait of mentally aware people is their ability to accept realistic responsibility for their actions. Try to take responsibility for your own thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. [17]
    • No one is going to make things better for you. If you want to improve a situation, you must take responsibility and do so yourself. Mentally aware people have long since accepted this fact. Be willing to admit to your mistakes and shortcomings.
    • Keep in mind mentally aware people accept reasonable responsibility. Just as it can be bad to refuse to acknowledge your ability to change a situation, you need to make peace with the fact some things cannot be changed by your actions alone. Let go of inevitable setbacks and unavoidable circumstances that temporarily alter your path. If it rains all day and you want to go for a run, for example, accept that you'll have to catch up on your workout tomorrow.
  5. 5
    Practice self care. Mentally aware people understand the need for self care. In order to be mentally aware of yourself and your surroundings, you need to care for your body and mind.
    • Self care involves engaging in simple rituals that are often overlooked during the course of a busy day. Get enough sleep at night. Eat three meals a day. Make time for exercise. [18]
    • Make time for leisure. Relaxation is important to your mental well-being. Incorporate an hour of you time into your daily schedule. Take a warm bath. Go for a long walk. Spend time with your pets. Read a book. [19]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Disengaging with Negative Thought Patterns

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  1. 1
    Do not take things personally. Personalizing setbacks can result in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. [20] People who are mentally aware tend to accept the things they cannot change. Strive to do so yourself.
    • For instance, if someone is being rude to you, try showering them with kindness and diplomacy instead of taking their words personally. [21]
    • Unconsciously, you probably personalize circumstances quite a bit. Try to catch yourself personalizing throughout the day. For example, say you get to the office early one morning and a normally chatty co-worker gives you a hasty "Hello" without stopping to make small talk. You may immediately start blaming yourself. Did you do something wrong? Does this person not like you? You are personalizing a situation that may have nothing to do with you.
    • When you catch yourself in these moments, try to pull yourself out of your head for a moment. Ask yourself, "In all likelihood, does this have anything to do with me?" Take the co-worker example. Maybe she was running late for a meeting. Maybe she isn't feeling well. Maybe there's something going on in her personal life that's causing her stress. Chances are, her quiet nature this morning has nothing to do with you.
  2. 2
    Stop forecasting. Without realizing it, people often make predictions about the future. Mentally aware people are able to accept they have no way of knowing what the future holds. [22]
    • Keep in mind you cannot control what is yet to come. The only moments you have control over are those that occur in the present. Try to keep your mind focused on the present moment and do not let your mind wander in "What if?" scenarios.
    • When your mind lingers in the future, you'll end up making critical mistakes in the present. If you spend your work day daydreaming about how you'll one day run the company, you're not engaged with the work at hand. You'll end up doing a sloppy job at work and your dream of success will not come into fruition.
  3. 3
    Let go of the past. Holding onto the past can result in disengaging from the present reality. If you're wishing things could go back to a former state, let go of this wish. Accept and be aware of the present moment instead.
    • Mentally aware people understand the past, however great it may have been, no longer exists. They do not waste time longing for times gone by but instead strive to make the best of the present moment, even if the situation is not ideal.
    • Reminiscing about the good times can be fun. However, keep in mind that you may miss positive aspects of the present moment by romanticizing the past. Appreciate your memories but do not let them tether you.
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Finding Balance

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  1. 1
    Write expressively. Mentally aware people are capable of getting out of their head and appreciating the world around them. One way to do so is writing expressively. Purging your inner thoughts on the page can help you engage in the outer world. [23]
    • Keep a diary. Make a nightly ritual of writing down any thoughts, fears, or hopes you have about your life at the moment. Be honest and use as much detail as possible.
    • By practicing expressive writing on a regular basis, many people are able to disengage with troubling or persistent thought patterns. This can help you become mentally aware and appreciative of the present.
  2. 2
    Surround yourself with supportive people. Mental awareness is not something you can achieve solely on your own. Surround yourself with people that are self aware, strong, and supportive. Seek out the company of friends and family members that give good advice and seem content with their lives. [24]
  3. 3
    Accept feelings, positive and negative. Mentally aware people accept things they cannot change, including feelings. Acknowledge that sometimes life will be painful and stressful. Accept that both negative and positive feelings are a normal part of life. [25]
    • Avoidance can be appealing when we're feeling down. However, certain habits people use to disengage in negative thoughts can be more harmful than helpful. Things like drinking and drug use, for example, should not be used to avoid negativity.
    • Instead of trying to cope through avoidance, try to take a moment to acknowledge the feeling the next time you're sad, in pain, or stressed. Say to yourself, "I am not feeling good right now, but this is a normal part of life and it will pass over soon." Mentally aware people embrace their emotions on all levels, positive and negative.
  4. 4
    Learn to live with uncertainty. Mentally aware people accept they do not always have all the answers. Sometimes, acknowledging that you don't understand a situation, feeling, or person is better than seeking an inaccurate explanation or assumption. Accept that life is sometimes confusing and answers are not always apparent. [26]
    • People often engage in behaviors to try to avoid dealing with uncertainty. These include seeking excessive reassurance from others, list-making, double-checking, procrastination, and avoiding situations. Keep a diary of how you avoid coping with uncertainty head on. Write down any activities you engaged to avoid uncertainty. [27]
    • Once you have an idea of how you avoid uncertainty, try engaging in behaviors that allow you to practice living with uncertainty. For example, if you excessively double check e-mails before sending them out, try sending a few e-mails out each day without re-reading them before hitting "send." Leave your house without double checking to make sure you locked the door.
    • Keep up with your diary. Write down how you felt about, say, sending an e-mail without reading it over. Writing about your feelings can help you cope with them.
    • Keep practicing. It can take awhile to feel comfortable with uncertain aspects of life. Move from small stakes activities, like leaving without double checking the door is locked, to activities that are more difficult for you. For example say you dislike going to parties as you're uncertain about what precisely will occur in social situations. Force yourself to go to a party by yourself or attend a social gathering you would normally avoid.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I restore my confidence and self esteem to be more aware?
    Lauren Urban, LCSW
    Licensed Psychotherapist
    Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.
    Lauren Urban, LCSW
    Licensed Psychotherapist
    Expert Answer
    Chill, explore, and exercise. Don't even worry about losing weight or improving the way you look, but exercise to feel better about yourself. Look for activities that you enjoy, and engage in them regularly. The more engaged and active you can get, the sooner your confidence and self esteem will bounce back.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/mindful-walking/
      2. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/mindfulness/
      3. ↑ https://usm.maine.edu/agile/paying-attention
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/diets/mindful-eating.htm
      5. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/8-steps-to-mindful-eating
      6. ↑ https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/well-being/taking-breaks
      7. ↑ https://profdev.college.police.uk/competency-values/we-are-emotionally-aware/
      8. ↑ http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/mindfulness.aspx
      9. ↑ http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/mindfulness.aspx
      1. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner
      2. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/yoga-benefits-beyond-the-mat
      3. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1593511/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-is-your-true-north/201509/know-thyself-how-develop-self-awareness
      5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/core-beliefs-examples
      6. ↑ Jennifer Clark. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      7. ↑ https://www.aesc.org/insights/magazine/article/checking-your-blind-spots
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/improving-family-relationships-with-emotional-intelligence.htm
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/design-your-path/201305/10-traits-emotionally-resilient-people
      10. ↑ Lauren Urban, LCSW. Licensed Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 3 September 2018.
      11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/turning-straw-gold/201808/its-time-stop-taking-things-personally
      12. ↑ Jennifer Clark. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      13. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm
      14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/design-your-path/201305/10-traits-emotionally-resilient-people
      15. ↑ Lauren Urban, LCSW. Licensed Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 3 September 2018.
      16. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-what-you-cant-control
      17. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/design-your-path/201305/10-traits-emotionally-resilient-people
      18. ↑ https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/ToleratingUncertainty.pdf

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To be more mentally aware, start by becoming more aware of your surroundings, like what the ground feels like underneath you and how the air smells around you. When someone is speaking to you, listen as fully as possible, and try to focus only on understanding the words that you’re hearing. During your meals, pay attention to the sensation of every bite and do not engage in other activities, such as watching TV. Additionally, practice activities that increase mindfulness, such as meditation, yoga, or tai chi. To learn more ways to be mentally aware, like how to disengage from negative thought patterns, keep reading!

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