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Plus, learn what being selfless really means & how it benefits you
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Selflessness. You’ve likely heard the term, but what does it mean, and how can you achieve it? To be selfless, you must put other people’s needs above your own, but without neglecting yourself. Practicing selflessness can improve your everyday life and relationships, making you a happier and brighter person. In this article, we’ll teach you how to be selfless (with plenty of examples of selfless acts to inspire you).
Easy Ways to Practice Selflessness
- Do a random act of kindness each day.
- Volunteer your time when you can.
- Support charities through monetary or used donations if you’re able.
- Be patient and empathetic.
- Practice active listening.
Steps
Section 1 of 4:
How to Be a Selfless Person
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Try to help one person each day. It could be with something big or small, as long as you make the commitment. Maybe you let someone in a rush go ahead of you in line, maybe you give money to a homeless person, or maybe you lend a hand on a project to a stressed coworker. Every little thing you do helps make the world a better place. [1] X Research source
- It’s okay if the opportunity to help someone doesn’t come up every day. Just make the commitment to help if the situation does come up.
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Volunteer your time for a good cause. Volunteering is a great way to practice generosity and contribute to the world. There are probably tons of local organizations that you can volunteer with—just ask around! Dedicate a few hours on the weekends to give back to your community. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Popular volunteer work includes handing out food in a soup kitchen, helping clean up local parks, caring for animals at a shelter, and helping organize town events.
- If you want to do bigger volunteer projects, you could also join an organization like the Peace Corps .
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Support charities with regular donations. Giving up frivolous or unnecessary things, like a streaming subscription you never use, to help others is a selfless quality. If you're able to, find some charities that you'd like to support and set up a regular donation to them. Your support will help them keep doing their great work. [3] X Research source
- It's okay to skip giving money if you're not financially secure. You could also donate used clothing or decor items to charities.
EXPERT TIPHumanitarian Aid OrganizationDirect Relief is an award-winning humanitarian aid organization, active in all 50 states and more than 80 countries. They focus on helping people affected by emergencies and natural disasters. Direct Relief has been highly rated by Charity Navigator, GuideStar, and the Center for High Impact Philanthropy at University of Pennsylvania, for their effectiveness, efficiency, and transparency.Any person can make a difference. Donating money or time is a great way to help someone in need. Every small act can make a difference.
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Make yourself available for friends and family. The people in your everyday life could probably use a helping hand! If someone asks you for help, do all you can to make that happen. Going out of your way to support those you love is a beautifully selfless act. Plus, it can also improve your mental health by reducing stress and promoting self-confidence. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mental Health Foundation UK charity working towards good mental health for all. Go to source
- Keep an eye out for little opportunities to help. For instance, if your neighbor is carrying something heavy, offer to lend a hand.
- Remember that it’s okay to say no if helping someone will put undue strain on you. Don’t run yourself ragged! [5] X Research source
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Be patient with others. Empathy or understanding other people’s emotions is a selfless quality. You can’t expect everyone to do everything you’d like all the time. So, practice being patient and understand that you may not know someone’s whole story. This can help put the world into perspective and help you be a kinder person. [6] X Research source
- Being patient doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs to others. It just means understanding that you can't always have instant gratification.
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Have good listening skills. Good, active listening is key to understanding people’s needs. If someone starts opening up to you, let them do it without interrupting. Put away all distractions and give them your undivided attention. Being generous with your time like this shows others that you’re the kind of person they can come to with problems. [7] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Social worker Sabrina Grover recommends not thinking about what you’re going to say while listening to others. Take in everything they have to say, and then think of your response. [8]
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Expert Source
Sabrina Grover, LMSW
Licensed Master Social Worker Expert Interview - Try to avoid offering advice unless someone asks for it.
- Social worker Sabrina Grover recommends not thinking about what you’re going to say while listening to others. Take in everything they have to say, and then think of your response. [8]
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Expert Source
Sabrina Grover, LMSW
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Put yourself in other people’s shoes. You’ll be more motivated to help people if you can empathize with them. Try to identify with the people around you and understand where they’re coming from. This is a great way to see people as individuals and get rid of any preconceived notions you may have had. [9] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
- Imagine if you were living someone else’s life. How would you feel, react, and respond in certain situations?
- Volunteer work is a good way to see how other people live. You can really broaden your horizons this way.
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Admit when you’re wrong. Believing you can never be wrong is a selfish quality. To be less selfish, clinical psychologist Julia Yacoob advises to avoid acting like you know all the answers. Accept that other people might have the correct answers, and if you are wrong, own it and admit it . [10] X Expert Source Julia Yacoob, PhD
Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview- Admitting a mistake is never easy, but know that it can make you stronger and improve your relationships. Think of it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
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Let others have the spotlight. Be willing to take a step back and let others enjoy their accomplishments without trying to focus attention on yourself. In other words, support other people’s goals and achievements. [11] X Research source Not only does this show kindness, compassion, and humility, but it’s an easy, selfless act to do. [12] X Research source
- For instance, if a coworker received a promotion before you, still make time to congratulate and celebrate them. Know that your time to shine will come.
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Do things from the kindness of your heart. A selfless person doesn’t expect anything in return—they’re simply nice because they can be! Do kind acts without needing a favor in return. Know that the ease you give someone else is better than any physical reward. [13] X Research source
- Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean you should continue giving all your effort to people who don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you, as this can lead to resentment. [14] X Research source
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Be kind to yourself, too. Being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting yourself or your health. Make sure to schedule time to take care of you. Practice self-care , engage in your hobbies, and take time to rest. After all, you can’t fill other people’s glasses if yours is empty. [15] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
- Think of your “me time” as a time to recharge. The more energy you have, the more selfless you can be!
EXPERT TIPAuthor, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On ItKamal Ravikant is a bestselling author, podcast host, speaker, and Venture Capitalist. His book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It was a bestseller in the USA. He's had diverse experiences in his life, including meditating with monks in the Himalayas, serving as a US Army Infantry soldier, and cofounding several companies and a Venture Capital firm in Silicon Valley. He is passionate about sharing the common thread through all of these experiences: the importance of loving yourself.Loving yourself is more than taking a bubble bath. Loving yourself is about accepting yourself inside and out and living a life that reflects that love. So, don't live life as a victim. Live your life as your own hero.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat is considered a selfless act?Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies.A selfless act is done out of the goodness of someone's heart—they aren't expecting acknowledgment or appreciation for what they've done, nor are they expecting to get something in return.
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References
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/dedehenley/2019/10/25/yes-you-can-be-both-selfless-and-competitive/?sh=54f53a577166
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm
- ↑ https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-ways-to-be-selfless-in-a-selfish-world/
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/podcasts/kindness-matters-our-mental-health
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-makes-a-hero/201307/selflessness-or-self-sabotage
- ↑ https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-ways-to-be-selfless-in-a-selfish-world/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/12/how-to-become-a-better-listener
- ↑ Sabrina Grover, LMSW. Licensed Master Social Worker. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
- ↑ Julia Yacoob, PhD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2024/april/february-2024-the-importance-of-being-selfless/
- ↑ https://www.asaporg.com/leadership/how-to-be-humble-10-pro-tips-from-asap
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/dedehenley/2019/10/25/yes-you-can-be-both-selfless-and-competitive/?sh=54f53a577166
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-makes-a-hero/201307/selflessness-or-self-sabotage
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_you_be_too_selfless_in_your_relationships
- ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/selfless
- ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/selfishness
- ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5429736/
- ↑ https://attunedpsychology.com/why-we-need-to-be-selfish-to-be-selfless/
- ↑ https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2024/april/february-2024-the-importance-of-being-selfless/
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness-and-mental-health/random-acts-kindness
- ↑ https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2024/april/february-2024-the-importance-of-being-selfless/
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Reader Success Stories
- "Great info. This helped me let go of feeling guilty for needing to recharge. Being helpful towards others uses up your energy like working out. Some people in the world take advantage of selfless people. They'll use up all your energy to preserve theirs for their own selfish needs. As an individual, feel proud that you have enough heart and courage to give selflessly to others with nothing in return but to see them grown and flourish. Don't forget, you can't help if you're all drained. Recharge!" ..." more
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"Great info. This helped me let go of feeling guilty for needing to recharge. Being helpful towards others uses up your energy like working out. Some people in the world take advantage of selfless people. They'll use up all your energy to preserve theirs for their own selfish needs. As an individual, feel proud that you have enough heart and courage to give selflessly to others with nothing in return but to see them grown and flourish. Don't forget, you can't help if you're all drained. Recharge!"
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"Reading this article made me realize that selflessness is one of the most important character traits a person can have. I found the word while watching a scholarship video, and now I'm intent on trying to make the world a better place for everyone."
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"Great article. It gave me confirmation to take care of myself as I would do for others, especially family."
"Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing, so that you're giving maybe in secret."
"It helped me be selfless, see my mistakes, and learn from them so I can be a better person."
