How to Be Strong As a Girl

Your brain is growing and developing in fantastic ways. Challenge yourself and learn new things to develop a strong mind.

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   Pay attention in school, and do your best. Doing well is about more than talent—it's most important to be a hard worker. Practice studying and working hard at school, and you will grow way ahead as you get older.

   • It's okay if you're not a straight A student. Strong girls can have all kinds of grades, and smarts and talent come in many forms, not just being good at schoolwork. What matters is trying to make the most out of your education.
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   Experiment. You have many years of life ahead of you, and now is a great time to try new ideas. Pick up a book about toy robots, learn to jet ski, make up a cookie recipe, or try out your hand at writing stories. Find out which ideas stick and which ones don't.
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   Read often. Fiction books are fun and insightful, and you can also read nonfiction to learn facts about things you love. Try a variety of genres and figure out which ones you love best. Specialize in your favorite areas, and also read something else every once in a while just to shake things up.

   • If you want to be inspired, read books about female doctors, lawyers, inventors, artists, musicians, political figures, and rocket scientists. You'll see that women can do great things! ^[1]
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   Foster a love of learning. Curiosity and love of knowledge are important traits in a young woman. Find what subject matters you truly enjoy, check out books from the library, and investigate new ideas.

   • Investigate side areas you love outside of school. Are you interested in robotics, feminism, oil paints, molecular science?
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   Expect failure as part of the path to success. Remember, the expert has failed more times than the beginner has tried. Be prepared to laugh off your mistakes and try again.

   • Real life is different from school. Slip-ups don't wreck your "final grade." You get to redo things as many times as you want.
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   Ask others for their ideas. Everyone has different thoughts and opinions, and you can develop more nuanced ideas by listening to other perspectives.

   • Ask your dad to edit your short story.
   • Listen to people who have conflicting opinions. Why do they disagree? What are your thoughts on the issue?
   • Ask your sister to explain her science project to you.
   • Get reading suggestions from a teacher.
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Emotional strength is how well you handle your problems and emotions. An emotionally strong girl is kind and resilient, and she bounces back when life throws problems at her.

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   Embrace who you are. Your identity is important, and you don't have to fight it. It's okay to be tall, chubby, artistic, disabled, geeky, introverted, and anything else you could be. You have your own unique style and personality, and your traits don't make you inferior to anyone else.

   • If you're in a minority group, then it can be healthy to talk to others like you. Maybe you could join an LGBTQ students group or a disability support group.
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   Take time to understand your emotions. Your feelings are important, and it's good to recognize them and find healthy ways to channel them. It's normal to experience a range of emotions, and learning to deal with them is an important part of growing up.

   • If you are angry, try taking a walk, getting exercise, reading, or taking some quiet time to calm down.
   • If you're sad, spend time with a pet or loved one, take good care of your body, and talk to someone about how you're feeling.
   • If you're scared or worried, do something about the thing that scares you (e.g. making an action plan), take some deep breaths, or tell an adult how you feel.
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   Take time to relax every day. Relaxation is an important part of feeling healthy and balanced, and it'll allow you to stay calm when problems come your way. Do your hobbies, read a fun book, go for a walk, take a relaxing bath, or spend time with someone you love.

   • Screen time can be fun, but it's also good for you to take time away from screens to help you think and process things.
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   Break big problems into little pieces. Sometimes tasks feel overwhelming, to the point that it's difficult to start. When this happens, you can write down the steps you'll need to take, and only do one at a time. For example, if you have to write an essay, write one paragraph now, and then go play with your dog.

   • Taking breaks is an important life skill! It will help keep you from feeling overwhelmed, and you will be able to focus better when you sit down again.
   • Write out a schedule if it helps.
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   Learn to ask for help. Part of being strong is recognizing when something is too big for you to face alone. You might want to ask an adult for advice, or get help in solving whatever problem you're facing. Sometimes, you might just need a hug and a listening ear. Recognizing that you need help, and going to ask for it, is a sign of bravery.
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   Recognize that you don't have to be stoic all the time. It's okay to have bad days, and it's okay to be vulnerable. Your strength isn't determined by whether you cry or not—it's about how you bounce back from problems. Plenty of strong people ask for help and need to lean on other people sometimes.
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   Don't listen to bullies. You will find people who dislike you for no good reason, and who like to insult you or try to get in your way. You don't need to listen to them. Being polite is good, but you don't have to stand around putting up with a mean person just for the sake of manners.

   • Say "please stop" or "I'm busy" if someone won't leave you alone.
   • If you're being insulted, pretend not to have heard them, or say "I'm okay, you're mean." This takes all the fun out of it for the bullies.
   • Tell an adult if handling it yourself doesn't work, or if you don't know what to do.
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   Build strong relationships. Think of people you can talk to when you're having a bad day—parents, friends, siblings, and other people in your life. Take time for those who are important to you.
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   Spend time with people who make you feel better about yourself and the world. Look for friends who are positive, kind, and respectful of other people. These friends can lift you up, and help you feel and be your best.
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    Practice kindness.  Give sincere compliments, use good manners, help people in need, and reach out to other people who look friendly. An attitude of kindness will draw people to you and help make life easier for you.
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    Recognize your own power. Refuse to let negative stereotypes hold you back. Tell yourself that you can. Practice power posing, recognize that you're skilled, and work on building your own confidence. You are stronger than you know.

    • Try saying an affirmation to yourself in the mirror each morning, like, "I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I can do great things." ^[2]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 804 wikiHow readers about their favorite positive affirmations, and only 8% really like saying, “My body is strong in every way.” [Take Poll] While this affirmation can still make you feel good, try saying other phrases like “I believe in myself” or “I am enough.”
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