How to Be a Better Person: A Guide to Self-Improvement

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Life can be a whirlwind of responsibilities and stress, but with the right focus, you can start becoming a better person and who you want to be. In this article, we’ll help you learn how to be a better person in a number of different ways. From honoring yourself to doing small acts of kindness, there’s something you can do each and every day to better yourself and grow as an individual. Keep reading to learn how you can embark on your self-improvement journey.

Things You Should Know

  • Keep a gratitude journal to be more positive and compassionate.
  • Take care of your mental and physical health to brighten your mood and be happier.
  • Find healthier outlets for anger, like exercising and doing yoga, to redirect negative emotions.
1

Set goals for yourself.

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  1. Everyone needs something to live for, so think about what you want in life. Not only can striving for something make you a happier and better person, but it can also help you find your purpose. Use a pen and paper and write down the short and long-term goals you would like to achieve. Try asking yourself these questions to find and set an achievable goal : [1]
    • Is there a relationship in your life you want to improve?
    • What causes or movements are you passionate about?
    • Is there a project you’ve been meaning to finish?
    • What do you like to do in your free time?
    • Making your goal to “be a better” person may be challenging to define and achieve. Instead, opt for small goals that can help you grow as an individual, like reading a nonfiction book, writing a short story, calling your mom every weekend, or helping someone in need every day.
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2

Practice forgiveness.

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  1. Forgiving yourself and others can help you improve relationships. On your journey to becoming a better person, it’s important to let go of any grudges you're holding. The past is in the past; it’s time to move forward. Allow yourself time to forgive your past mistakes and recognize what they’ve taught you. Then, forgive those who have hurt you. You may not be able to forget what they’ve done, and that’s okay, but forgiveness can give you peace of mind. [2]
    • Dwelling on past wrongs can actually increase your blood pressure and heart rate, while forgiveness can help manage and lower stress.
3

Be empathetic towards others.

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  1. Empathy is one of the first steps to being a better person because it builds your compassion. Not only does cultivating empathy help you be more sensitive toward other people, but it also helps you form lasting relationships and feel less isolated. Being empathic helps you gain a friend while challenging your perspective. Here are some ways you can be more empathic : [3]
    • Avoid making assumptions about people and jumping to conclusions.
    • Imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes or situation.
    • Actively listen to express interest and help someone feel heard.
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4

Give back to your community.

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  1. Research shows that being altruistic (the act of promoting someone else’s welfare) improves mood and overall happiness. So, consider volunteering at a local shelter, donating used clothes, or picking up trash at the park. Even the smallest act can make the biggest difference. [4]
    • Aim to practice at least one act of kindness every day. It doesn’t have to be something big or time-consuming. Even leaving a sticky note on a public bathroom mirror saying, “You’re beautiful inside and out!” can make someone’s day.
    • When you help others, you get a rush of endorphins that make you feel good. This is known as the “helper’s high.”
Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: What Kind of Reality Check Do I Need?

We all have blind spots, especially when it comes to the ways we treat others (and ourselves). Unfortunately, it can be pretty tough to take an objective look at what your own weak points are. We’re here to help. Take this quiz to rip off the Band-aid and see what your blind spots really are.
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Pick a sea creature:

5

Go outside your comfort zone.

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  1. Comfort zones are great, but they can also be stagnant. Every once and a while, change up your daily schedule, try something new, and step outside your comfort zone . Trying new things that make you a little uncomfortable can broaden your horizons and open your eyes to a different perspective. [5]
    • Make a bucket list of things you can do outside of your comfort zone. Then, spend every other weekend checking an activity off the list.
    • Ask friends to join you on your adventures for double the fun.
    • Experiment with a different routine by going to a different coffee shop for lunch or taking an alternative route to work.
    • Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. The impossible can be obtainable if you put your best foot forward.
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6

Learn something new.

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  1. Knowledge can go a long way, especially when it comes to understanding other people’s situations. Whether you're in school or not, self-educating can help you grow and evolve as an individual. The more you know, the more perspective you’ll gain. Here are some ways you can learn something new today: [6]
    • Sign up for a class you're interested in online or at a library. Maybe that’s an art class or a course on American Literature.
    • Read a nonfiction book.
    • Listen to a podcast about a topic you want to learn more about, like business, money, culture, or mental health.
7

Acknowledge your weaknesses.

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  1. Notice how your behavior and attitude affect others. Are people generally happy or sad around you? Do friends come to you for help or advice? Answering these questions and analyzing your interactions can help you discover and strengthen your weaknesses. [7]
    • For instance, if friends don’t usually come to you for advice, ask yourself why. Do you talk over them or criticize their decisions? Maybe you need to work on being a better listener.
    • The more you learn to be flexible and adaptable with your behavior, the better you can care for yourself and those around you.
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8

Control your anger.

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  1. When you want to be a better person, it’s important to understand the whys and hows of someone else’s situation. Things may not work out how they’re supposed to, but that's okay. Take a deep breath and remember that you may not be able to control many things, but you can control your attitude. [8]
    • Try redirecting your anger away from yourself and others by going on a walk, doing yoga, or punching a pillow.
    • Calm yourself down by taking deep belly breaths and visualizing a relaxing or joyful memory.
    • Reconstruct your thinking patterns by avoiding words like “never” or “always” to describe yourself or others.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 681 wikiHow readers, and 50% of them admitted that they typically respond to negative emotions by lashing out at others . [Take Poll] Instead, try journaling or taking deep breaths to calm yourself.
9

Express your feelings respectfully.

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  1. Life is full of complex and confusing emotions, and with those emotions comes conflict. You may not be able to control every situation you’re in, but you can control your reactions. “I” statements can be used in conflicts or emotionally tense situations to communicate feelings without pointing blame. Check out these ways you can change these phrases into “I” statements: [9]
    • “You never listen to me anymore,” changes to, “I feel that my concerns aren’t being heard.”
    • “I hate when you shout at the kids,” changes to, “When you shout at the kids, I feel upset because I want the kids to feel respected.”
    • “You’re always grounding me. It’s not fair!” changes to, “I feel like you’re always grounding me, and it upsets me.”
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10

Be grateful.

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  1. Practicing gratitude every day can help you be more positive. Gratitude is more than a feeling; it’s an active practice. Being thankful and appreciative of your life, no matter where you are in it, helps you be compassionate and loving towards yourself and others. Take a moment to recognize that goodness can be outside yourself and that every smile or simple favor is a gift. [10] Here are some more ways you can cultivate gratitude in your life:
    • Keep a gratitude journal or make a gratitude list to highlight all the things you're thankful for each day, big or small. [11]
    • Savor surprises by appreciating the thought that was put into them.
    • Share what you’re thankful for with others. For instance, if your brother helped you move your couch, let him know how much you appreciate his help. [12]
11

Be patient.

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  1. Rather than getting upset when things don’t go your way, take a deep breath and remember to have patience . It’s alright if life is slower. Try savoring these slow moments by noticing the little things and acknowledging the positives in the situation. [13]
    • For instance, maybe you ordered a pizza for family game night, but the deliverer is stuck in traffic. Instead of getting frustrated, recognize that the extra time waiting for your pizza has given you more time to pick out a game. Plus, you’ll probably get a discounted pizza.
    • Another example could be that your computer starts updating the moment you want to work. Rather than getting upset, use the extra minutes of downtime to play with your dog, take a walk, or do some tidying up.
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12

Be yourself.

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  1. The best way to be a better person is to simply be 100% you ! You are unique, special, and one-of-a-kind. Accepting yourself for who you truly are can help you feel happier, improve your life, and strengthen your identity. Follow your gut, do what you love, and explore your interests. The more you do to fuel your energy, the happier and more confident you’ll be. [14]
    • Enroll in classes that spark your interest to learn a new skill or find a new passion.
    • Do things that are meaningful to you to help you feel fulfilled. [15]
13

Take care of yourself.

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  1. If you don’t give your body the proper nutrition and rest it needs, you won’t be able to serve yourself or others. Stick to a regular routine that’s healthy for you, and watch how your mood changes for the better. When you support your physical health, you support your mental health. [16]
    • Aim to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night to help your mind and body recharge. [17]
    • Eat food that nourishes your mind and body. Aim to eat whole foods, but don’t restrict yourself—it’s okay to have a cookie every now and then!
    • Do a form of exercise you enjoy for at least 30 minutes every day. Maybe that’s walking, dancing, hiking, doing yoga, or kickboxing.
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14

Accept that change happens.

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  1. The journey of self-improvement isn’t a straight path—it bends and twists when you least expect it! Because of this, your short-term and long-term goals may change as you go. This is completely normal and a sign that you’re becoming a better person. After all, you wouldn’t be adapting if you didn’t want to improve. [18]
    • Try your best not to dwell on the past. Instead, focus on the present moment. Change is inevitable, but you can roll with the punches.



15

Be kind to yourself.

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  1. Before learning to love others, you must learn to love yourself . Self-compassion may sound like the opposite of being a better person, but caring for yourself is the first step to improvement. After all, if you can’t care for yourself, how can you care for others? Try these exercises to help you be kinder to yourself: [19]
    • Pretend you’re writing a letter to a friend in a similar situation. How would you talk them through it?
    • Place your hand over your heart and whisper positive affirmations to yourself when you’re down, like “I am safe,” “I am kind to myself,” and “I am smart and have a big heart.”
    • Note your accomplishments and achievements without criticism by responding rationally to self-critical thoughts. Acknowledge where the critic comes from and then prove it wrong in a logical way. [20]
    • Look in the mirror every morning and compliment yourself. You could say something like, “You’re beautiful, no matter what,” or “You have the brightest smile.”
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Be Charismatic with this Expert Series

Do you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series.
1
Have a Great Personality
2
Have an Attractive Personality
3
Make Your Personality Stand Out
4
Be Likable
5
Make People Want to Be Around You
6
Groom Your Personality

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      Tips

      • Follow the golden rule “treat others the way you want to be treated” to be a kind person.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Remember that the journey of self improvement never ends. You won't eventually reach a place where you're suddenly "totally better" -- just try to be a little better every day.
      • If you haven't found your talent(s) yet, try to find out your family members' talents. Maybe they passed something down to you!
      • Be happy for others. You'll feel great and respect yourself more, and others will appreciate your good feelings towards them.
      • When you feel stressed out, take a deep breath and think about a way you can handle the situation before reacting.
      • Handle things with patience. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes when you're dealing with someone.
      • Being happy rubs off on other people. Even if it's just acting, be happy and it will make others happier, too!
      • Respect works both ways. Respect others from the start and they'll respect you, too.
      • Choose good friends that accept you for who you are and support you.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://actionforhappiness.org/take-action/set-your-goals-and-make-them-happen
      2. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#why_practice
      3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definition#what_is
      4. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/altruism/definition#what_is
      5. ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/programs/psychology/resource/the-pros-and-cons-of-comfort-zones
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/science-of-choice/202311/8-tips-for-learning-a-new-skill-effectively
      7. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2023/03/14/15-expert-tips-for-turning-leadership-weaknesses-into-strengths/
      8. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
      9. ↑ https://www.bumc.bu.edu/facdev-medicine/files/2011/08/I-messages-handout.pdf
      1. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition#why_practice
      2. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
      3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
      4. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-patient
      5. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
      6. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_foolproof_ways_to_feel_more_joy_in_2015
      7. ↑ https://mhanational.org/taking-good-care-yourself
      8. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/
      9. ↑ https://www.fnu.edu/person/
      10. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_self_compassion_beats_rumination
      11. ↑ https://counseling.uoregon.edu/overcoming-self-criticism

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to be a better person, try to control your negative emotions, like anger and jealousy, since this will help you be more compassionate to others and to yourself. Try to empathize with people and imagine what it’s like to feel what they feel so you can be more sensitive to their emotions. For example, if someone is getting frustrated, try to imagine what thoughts and emotions they might be experiencing, so you can understand where they're coming from. Dwelling on the past can often bring you down, so try to forgive others when they make mistakes. For instance, if your boss is blunt with you, let it go, since they're probably under a lot of stress. You can also strive to do random acts of kindness every day, like holding the door open for someone, helping an elderly person carry their shopping, or paying for a stranger’s coffee. For more tips from our Counselling co-author, including how to set goals to improve yourself, read on!

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