How to Become Happy Again

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Reset your mindset and connect with your inner joy
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Whether you’re just having a bad day or are dealing with ongoing depression, there are plenty of things you can do to change the way you feel—and quickly. From quick happiness boosters to managing long-term sadness, we’ve got something for you. Just remember, there’s no shame in reaching out for help if you need it.

This article is based on an interview with life and transition coach Michelle Shahbazyan, the founder of The LA Life Coach. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • To regain your happiness, take time to do things you enjoy and prioritize self-care.
  • Spend time in nature and with people who make you feel good.
  • Eat well, exercise, and practice gratitude.
1

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  1. Adjust your existing priorities in life. Identify the things that you’re truly passionate about—the things that mean the most to you in life—and budget your time accordingly. [1]
    • If you love fashion and beauty, start a blog and write about clothing or products, or start thrifting with a friend.
    • If you enjoy playing instruments, learn a new song, or pick up a new technique that you've been meaning to practice.
    • If you love learning and school, educate yourself further by devoting your time to your studies. Visit the library if it has been a while.
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2

Get outside for more sunlight.

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  1. Seasonal depression likely occurs because of the lack of sunlight. [2] But it’s not just sunlight you need; spending 2 hours a week in nature is proven to boost your mood and energy. [3] A good dose of time outside can do wonders for your mood, so get out there! [4]
    • Wear sunscreen if you’re going to go out in the sun. [5]
    • If you live somewhere with limited sunlight, ask your doctor about investing in a lightbox that provides a good source of natural light.
3

Try new things.

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  1. Find something that you’ve long wanted to do but felt held back from doing—and do it! It can be a small change or a big activity, so long as it’s something new that could help you cultivate joy. [6]
    • Life experiences that cause unhappiness, like a job loss or a break-up, can also be a great opportunity to try something new!
    • Our expert, life coach Michelle Shahbazyan, agrees: “Go out there and have no limits because every single person on the planet has something that they can do to start over fresh, whether it's finding a new partner or finding a new career.” [7]
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4

Get out and socialize.

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  1. Just being around other people can be helpful when you’re grieving, depressed, or even temporarily unhappy. Go to public places as much as you can. The more you’re around people, the better you’ll feel. [8]
    • Instead of making coffee at home, grab a cup at a local spot. Instead of reading the paper at home, read it at the library.
    • Being around other people reminds you that life goes on and the world keeps spinning during both good days and bad.
    • When situations arise that make it difficult to physically be around other people (such as the COVID-19 pandemic), lean on technology to help you maintain social connections. Something is better than nothing!
5

Journal about your feelings.

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  1. Life coach Michelle Shahbazyan says, “When you feel pessimistic, write down your problems one by one. The problem that pessimism creates is this white noise for people. If you can sit down and listen in to what that white noise is in the back of your mind, it’s always finite. Write those things down. Make a list.” [9]
    • Do this regularly. Writing about how you feel and listing your woes every day can really reinforce your sense of control and well-being.
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6

Cut back on social media.

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  1. If you feel disconnected, take a break from social media . Social media isn’t always bad, but if you’re not feeling great, science says that social media is going to make you feel worse. [10]
    • Even if it isn’t permanent, temporarily lock or delete your social media accounts to avoid giving into temptation.
    • Leaving social media can help you reconnect with the real world, feel closer to the people in your everyday life, and help you stop comparing yourself to others. [11]
7

Practice gratitude.

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  1. When any kind of good thing happens in your life, take a moment to savor it and soak it in. At least once a day, mentally list at least 5 things you’re appreciative of. Once you start seeking out all the little reasons you have to be happy, you’ll begin to feel better. [12]
    • No matter what it is—finding your keys, getting a good seat on the bus, hearing a “good job” from your teacher, parent, or boss—be thankful for it!
    • Try writing down a list of things you’re thankful for when you get up in the morning, when you go to bed at night, or both.
    • Be thankful when others show you kindness. Give a genuine “thank you” and take a moment to reflect on the fact that there is good in this world.
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8

Exercise regularly.

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  1. Physical activity has a massive impact on your mood. If your body isn’t getting the activity it needs, start small and build up from there. Take a walk, start jogging, do calisthenics at home, or do some light weightlifting. [13]
    • Exercise has a direct effect on your mood and overall happiness. Working out releasing endorphins that help to counteract the effect of stress on the body.
    • Find an exercise routine that you enjoy doing. If you hate lifting weights for example, you’re unlikely to stick with it. [14]
    • Give your body time to rest and recover between exercise sessions and get enough sleep at night. Like exercise, rest is essential in keeping your energy levels and your mood steady throughout the day.
9

Eat a healthy diet.

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  1. What you eat affects your mood directly. Junk food might make you feel better for a few minutes, but it’s a short-term “high” that won’t last. For more lasting mood improvement, focus on getting more leafy greens, whole grains, fresh vegetables, and fruits into your diet. [15]
    • Increase your intake of omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in foods like flaxseeds, fish, walnuts, and tofu. Omega-3 supports your brain function and regulates your mood. [16]
    • Stay hydrated by drinking water regularly throughout the day. Problems that impact your mood, like headaches and tiredness, can result from mild dehydration. [17]
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10

Keep yourself busy.

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  1. Stay busy enough that you don’t have time to just sit and stew over your sadness. [18] However, don’t try to be so super-busy that you leave no time at all to experience your feelings. It’s okay to be unhappy some of the time, but it’s also okay to keep busy so you aren’t unhappy all of the time. [19]
    • Keeping busy by working with your hands seems to be particularly effective.
    • Try baking, cooking, woodworking, needlepoint, gardening, cleaning, playing piano, or a similar hobby or new activity.
11

Set tiny goals every day.

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  1. Sadness, grief, and depression can negatively impact your sense of purpose. Establishing clear, simple, and challenging (but definitely attainable) goals will help boost your focus and motivation. You’ll know what you need to do each day, and it’ll be super rewarding when you cross each thing off of your checklist! [20]
    • List things that you can do today to make yourself productive. You can include extremely small things, like, “Brush your teeth,” run-of-the-mill but important things, like, “Pick up the kids,” and aspirational things, like, “Don’t smoke as many cigarettes as yesterday.” [21]
    • Write out your accomplishments each day at the end of the day if that works better for you.
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12

Lean on your friends.

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  1. If you feel like talking about your sadness, find a close friend or loved one to open up to. Talking about your feelings can really help you process and feel better. If you don’t like talking about your feelings, just hang out with friends and talking about anything—work, sports, etc.—can really help as well. [22]
    • Surround yourself with people who care about you. Having people around you can help bring your overall mood up.
    • You may just want to be alone sometimes, and that’s okay too. Listen to your feelings and find the right balance for you.
13

Be kind to others.

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  1. People who are generous with their time, talents, and even money really do tend to be happier overall. [23] Putting a smile on someone else’s face by paying for their coffee, shoveling the snow off their sidewalk, or writing them a thoughtful letter will make you smile as well. [24]
    • Just thinking about being generous to others can give you a happiness boost—but actually doing something generous is so much more fulfilling!
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14

Put a smile on your face.

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  1. You don’t even need to have anything making you smile to feel better. Of course, it’s even better if you put yourself in situations where you can’t help but smile. Watch a funny movie, take a nature walk, call an old friend, or play with your neighbor’s puppy. [25]
    • With that said, it’s totally okay to express frustration or sadness. Forcing a smile when you want to cry it out isn’t healthy.
15

Be patient with yourself.

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  1. There are no quick-fixes for chronic sadness, and that’s okay. Regaining happiness is a process that takes time, and there will definitely be roadblocks and setbacks along the way. Accept that this is all part of the process, so cut yourself some slack. If you have a bad day, shake it off and keep working toward your goal. [26]
    • For example, it’s okay to be mopey for a while after a breakup. Let yourself be sad and go through the motions for a bit.
    • There’s no set timetable for how long the process should take, but it might be time to start trying to pull yourself out of your funk after a few days.
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16

Talk to your doctor.

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  1. If you just can’t shake the sadness, see a doctor. Be honest with them about your feelings and symptoms. If you’re diagnosed with a condition like depression, they can direct you to valuable resources to help you return to a healthy state of mind. [27]
    • Symptoms of depression can include a lack of interest in daily activities, feelings of hopelessness, changes in appetite, sleep pattern changes, low energy, irritability, reckless behavior, mental fog, aches and pains, and self-loathing, among others.
    • Treatment for depression usually involves a combination of psychotherapy, lifestyle changes, support networks, and/or medication.
17

Get help in a crisis.

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  1. Extreme sadness and depression can make you feel isolated, worthless, and empty, and may lead you to think about self-harm or even suicide. Don’t ignore these feelings and don’t be ashamed of them. Talk to someone you trust right away or call emergency services (such as 911 in the U.S.) if you’re in crisis. [28]
    • In the U.S., you can contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 [29] .
    • In Canada, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide Crisis Helpline [30] .
    • Reach the Crisis Text Line by messaging “HOME” to 741741 in the U.S. and Canada, 85258 in the UK, and 50808 in Ireland. [31]
    • You can find the phone numbers for crisis hotline in your country here: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines .
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How Can You Bring Back Your Happiness?


Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What should I do if I am feeling lost in life?
    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
    Life Coach
    Michelle Shahbazyan is a Life Coach, Author, and Speaker based in Los Angeles, California. She is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service. She has over 15 years of experience with life coaching, consulting, motivational speaking, and matchmaking. Michelle has helped thousands of clients achieve peace, fulfillment, and a healthier mindset. Her ultimate goal is to provide her clients with the tools, perspectives, and resources needed to create the life they desire. Michelle specializes in supporting individuals and couples with a wide array of concerns, including depression, anxiety, love and relationship issues, ADHD, grief, stress, anger management, and career planning. Her approach is informed by neuroscience, anthropology, sociology, and behavioral biology, ensuring that the strategies she develops with clients are both effective and enduring. She has a BA in Applied Psychology and an MS in Building Construction and Technology Management from Georgia Tech University, and a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate University.
    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
    Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Think about how you want to give back to society, because we all need each other in some shape or form. If you think about how you're interested in giving back to the world, that is usually a good starting point to find purpose. In terms of productivity, it's important to know that a mental stalemate is intertwined with your body. Try to get your body moving, and usually your mind will get moving too. Also try to read and get new information, as new incoming thoughts can create new outgoing ideas.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 6 Helpful 8
  • Question
    How can I get out of a 35 year marriage that has had problems since the beginning?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Have an intentional and respectful discussion with your marriage partner about your feelings. Set your intentions and allow them to also speak their voice. Then, talk to a lawyer about your rights based on divorce laws within your state. Gather as much emotional support from friends and family that you can muster, as it will be a difficult process.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 9 Helpful 13
  • Question
    What if I'm depressed and I don't know why?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Your best bet is to seek out emotional support from a trusted family member or friend. They will be able to help you to get the right kind of help from a qualified counselor or therapist.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Tips

      • If you’re grieving due to a loss, you may struggle with worries that you’re not feeling the way you should and not going through the stages of grief the “right” way. Thinking this way causes guilt and can make your sadness even worse. Seek support and guidance while you’re grieving, but also trust your own feelings about the right way for you to experience grief. [32]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/10/smarter-living/follow-your-passion-hobbies-jobs-self-care.html
      2. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908269/
      3. ↑ https://e360.yale.edu/features/ecopsychology-how-immersion-in-nature-benefits-your-health
      4. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
      5. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/sunscreen-and-your-morning-routine
      6. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
      7. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
      8. ↑ https://advancedpsychiatryassociates.com/resources/blog/solo-activities-for-depression/
      9. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
      1. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7364393/
      2. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9620890/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201801/how-be-happy-23-ways-be-happier
      4. ↑ http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/12/exercise.aspx
      5. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
      6. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-psychiatry-your-brain-on-food-201511168626
      7. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/17290-omega-3-fatty-acids
      8. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/fight-fatigue-with-fluids
      9. ↑ https://advancedpsychiatryassociates.com/resources/blog/solo-activities-for-depression/
      10. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/are-you-keeping-busy-to-avoid-your-feelings#1
      11. ↑ https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/April-2016/Five-Ways-to-Stay-Productive-During-Depression
      12. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
      13. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
      14. ↑ https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/3-health-benefits-of-volunteering
      15. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-be-happy.html
      16. ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/04/190412094728.htm
      17. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/are-you-keeping-busy-to-avoid-your-feelings#1
      18. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-warning-signs.htm
      19. ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help
      20. ↑ https://988lifeline.org/
      21. ↑ https://988.ca/
      22. ↑ https://www.crisistextline.org/
      23. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      It can be tough when you're feeling low or in a rut, but with a few small changes to your routine, you can start to feel happier again! Set a few goals for yourself each day, even if it’s something small like taking a walk or practicing guitar for half an hour. This will help you stay busy and keep track of your accomplishments. Aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, which will release endorphins and help you feel better. Consider talking to a therapist, or at least a close friend, about how you feel. Often, sharing your thoughts and feelings can help to make sense of them. Try to be patient with yourself. Negative emotions can be difficult, but they won’t last forever. If you’re feeling particularly hopeless or you’re having suicidal thoughts, call a hotline so you can talk to someone and get help. In the U.S. you can call 1-800-784-2433. For more tips from our co-author, including how to deal with a painful breakup, read on.

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