How to Start a Conversation with Your Crush Online

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Learn playful moves and funny banter to go from pal to partner
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You always see your crush online, but are afraid to start chatting. You're worried that you won't say the right thing or will run out of things to talk about. Don't worry so much—talking to your crush online should be fun and stress -free! This wikiHow article will help you fine-tune your flirting techniques, get your crush's attention, and make them want to see you in person in no time.

How to Start Chatting with Your Crush

Wait until they’ve been signed on for a few minutes to begin chatting. Open with a short, casual, lighthearted opening like “Hey! What’d you think of class today?” or “What’s new with you?” Try not to be the one to start the chat every time; allow your crush to reach out to you sometimes, too!

Method 1
Method 1 of 6:

Hooking Your Crush From the Start

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  1. Your heart may race the second your crush signs on, but that doesn't mean you have to race to start your conversation . It's better to play it cool and look like you're not just hanging around waiting for the second he or she signs on.
    • Unless your crush is the kind of person who only signs on for a minute at a time, let some time pass--at least 10 or 15 minutes. Then your crush will see that while you want to continue your conversation, you have other things to do online. This will make you look less needy or clingy .
    • Don't wait too long or your crush won't think you're interested.
  2. When you do greet your crush, it's important to start the conversation on the right foot so your crush wants to spend more time talking to you. The key here is to play it cool---but not too cool.
    • Saying, "How are you?" or "What's up?" is perfectly acceptable. Don't try too hard to wow your crush with your opener.
    • You can start with an interesting story about something that happened to you, something you were previously talking about, or something cool you just heard on the news. Again, keep it short and don't try too hard.
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  3. It's important to strike a balance in your relationship. You don't want to be the one who always sends the first message, because there might be a chance that your crush may not be all that eager to talk to you after all.
    • It may be the case that your crush is just shy and likes it when you make all the moves. But if this is the case, then it could be a sign that if you take your relationship to the next level, your crush will still expect you to do all the work. That could get annoying really fast.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 6:

Being Playful

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  1. Once you get to know each other a little better, teasing will be a great way to flirt with your crush. This will show that you appreciate your crush's quirks and that you don't take life too seriously. Here are some great ways to tease your crush:
    • If he's really obsessed with a particular hobby, band, or activity, you can poke fun at him about that. If he's obsessed with his guitar, for example, you can say, "How much time did you spend with your girlfriend today?"
    • If you like sports teams who are rivals, you can tease him about how his team is going to lose that day without being too annoying about it.
    • Don't take your teasing too far. There's a difference between poking fun at someone and insulting him or her, and it can be hard to tell the difference on the Internet.
    • Show that you can be teased, too. He'll be impressed that you're confident enough for him to make fun of your foibles too.
  2. Be witty . Your crush will be impressed by your quick wit and sense of humor . It can be tricky to show your scintillating sense of humor online, but if you can pull it off, your crush will be impressed. Here are some ways to wow your crush with your wit:
    • Be quick. If your crush says something clever, say something back as quickly as you can to show that you can play ball.
    • Be clever . Make a joke about a subject he knows a lot about to show that you're well-read and understand what's going on in the world.
    • Be sarcastic . A little bit of sarcasm can go a long way. If you're having a hard time in biology class, you can pretend to gush about how much you love dissecting frogs. Your crush will be charmed by you if you set the right tone.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 6:

Being Fascinating

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  1. To keep your crush engaged, you'll have to find topics that are worth talking about. Make sure you find something that is not only interesting to you. Here are some ideas:
    • If something particularly exciting is happening in the news, you could bring it up, especially if it just happened. You could say, "Did you hear about...?" Make sure you don't pick anything too controversial, such as gun control, because you don't want to start an argument before you really know your crush.
    • If something out of the ordinary happened to you that day, tell your crush. If you ran into a celebrity, saw something crazy happen on the street, or got some big news, it could be worth talking about.
    • Nothing will bore your crush faster than telling him or her about everything that happened to you that day. Unless you're a secret agent or a superhero, chances are that most of your day is pretty mundane, and you don't want to look like a narcissist by talking about what you had for breakfast like it's the most fascinating topic in the world.
  2. If you're looking to take your relationship beyond flirting, remember that common interests can be just as important as chemistry in a strong relationship. Your love is guaranteed to last longer if you share passions other than your passions for each other. Here are some things you may have in common:
    • Music can be a great bond between two people, so try to strike up a conversation about music. If your crush has his or her 'What I'm Listening To' message working, look at the song he or she is listening to and say something like, "Oh, I love that band!" If the band is having a concert, you and your crush may even end up going together.
    • Your love for the outdoors. If both of you love hiking , biking, or camping, that can be a great bond. The outdoors are not for everyone, and your crush will respect you if you share that love--and may even ask you to tag along on a hiking adventure.
    • Your love for literature. If you both love good books, this will give you a lot to talk about. You can even impress him by recommending a great read, or reading a book he mentions. If the conversation is going well, you can even say, "Hey, I loved that book your recommended. Want to talk about it over coffee some time?"
    • Your love for good movies. If you're both into the movies, you will have plenty to talk about. You can casually mention a new film you're excited to see and can wait for your crush to ask you to come along.
  3. Make your crush see that you have a life outside of your computer. Mention your friends, your family, and definitely your interests, to show that your chat-life is just one small part of your fascinating personality. Here is how to show that your world is bigger than your chat screen:
    • Without being boring, tell talk about your favorite hobby. If you love to go biking, tell your crush about it. Mention when you have to go because you're going to pursue your hobby.
    • Mention your favorite friends, and say when you have to go because you and your friends are going out to dinner, to a concert, or wherever. This will make you seem like a fun person, and he may even want to join.
    • If you're passionate about your studies or a certain subject in school, don't be afraid to say so. Without looking like a nerd, you can show him that you really care about something--poetry or physics, for example. Remember that interesting people have interests, while boring people are bored by everything.
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Method 4
Method 4 of 6:

Showing That You're Interested

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  1. Subtly compliment your crush . Find ways to tell your crush what you really appreciate about him or her. This will show that you're paying attention to what makes your crush special and that you're a thoughtful person. Here are some ways to do it:
    • Be casual. Say, "You're so smart--I didn't know that," or "How interesting, I never would have thought of it that way!" This shows that you appreciate your crush's insight without fawning all over him or her.
    • Find what makes your crush special. If your crush loves running marathons, say, "It's so impressive that you could do that."
    • Praise your crush's achievements. Say something simple like, "I can't believe you published a poem. That must have taken a lot of work!"
    • If they're are funny, compliment them on their character.
  2. Show your crush that you're actually listening to the things he or she says. This will demonstrate that you value your crush's opinion and that you're thinking about him or her even when you step away from the computer. Here's how to do it:
    • If your crush recommends an album, listen to it. This will give you something to talk about too.
    • If your crush recommends you buy a certain type of phone, pair of shoes, or whatever, if you think his or her advice is sound, take it. Then you can thank your crush for the tip.
    • However, don't rush off to do whatever your crush says. If he recommends a movie, don't watch it instantly and report back the next day. Take a week or two to say, "Hey, I watched that movie you recommended, and it was amazing."
  3. You should show that not only are you an interesting person, but that you care about your crush as a person. Try to strike a balance between talking about yourself, your common interests, and your crush. Here are some ways to do this: [1]
    • Ask your crush how his or her week is going. This will get your crush to reveal some information what's going on in his or her life.
    • If your crush told you he or she went to a concert, tennis match, or restaurant, ask how it was.
    • Ask your crush his or her opinion on a certain topic. This will show that you value what he or she has to say.
    • Don't pry. You can casually ask about his or her interests, friends, or even family, but don't ask so many questions that you're getting too personal or sound like you're leading an interview.
  4. Ask your crush to hang out . If things are going well and you feel that the timing is right, don't be afraid to invite your crush to take your relationship beyond the internet. If you've gotten to know your crush, you can do this casually and not make a big deal about it. Here's how: [2]
    • Ask your crush what he or she has going on that weekend. If your crush says he's pretty free, suggest a casual hang out. Say, "Cool, me too--want to grab lunch?"
    • If your crush's favorite band or comedian is coming to town, ask if he wants to go to a show together.
    • If you're throwing a party or going out with a big group of friends, invite your crush. This will be a very low-pressure hang out, and will give you a feel for each other before you go on a real date.
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Method 5
Method 5 of 6:

Playing it Cool

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  1. To play it cool, you have to show that while you enjoy talking to your crush, your life does not revolve around him or her. Here are some ways to make this clear;
    • Don't talk to your crush every single time you sign online. Talk to him or her every second or third time you sign on. This will show that you're not only going online to continue your conversation.
    • Don't respond to everything he or she says too quickly. If you respond the second he or she asks you a question, this will make it look like you're [3] obsessed with your conversation. If you don't answer right away, your crush will see that you're talking to other people, or doing other things too.
  2. Get a secret screen name that no one knows about to see what your crush is doing when he thinks you're not online. This can help you have a better sense of what your crush really thinks about you, and can help you cool it during your interactions.
    • If you see that your crush isn't online much when he doesn't think you're online, this can suggest that he's online for the same reason you are--to continue flirting!
    • If you see that your crush is just always online, it may mean that he'll talk to whoever--whenever. This may also suggest that he doesn't have a life.
    • Log on to your secret screen name after you say goodbye to your crush. Does your crush sign off right away? This may show that he's only sticking around to talk to you.
  3. It's great to show that you think your crush is an engaging, exciting, and fun person, but if you overdo it, you may end up looking too obsessive. Here are some things to avoid:
    • Minimize your use of "LOL" or "hahaha"--this will make it look like you're trying too hard to be funny.
    • Avoid too many emoticons. This can get annoying and will make you look immature.
    • If your crush doesn't respond right away, don't immediately follow up with a series of question marks or say, "Where did you go???" This will make it look like your world revolves around your crush's answers.
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Method 6
Method 6 of 6:

Finishing Strong

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  1. It's important to sign off at the right time so you leave your special someone wanting more. You shouldn't leave too soon, but should say goodbye while things are still interesting. Here's how to do it: [4]
    • Wait for an interesting conversation to start wrapping up, and say you have to go. That way you can say one or two more things about the topic and then say goodbye. This will leave your crush wanting to talk to you more, and will help you avoid that long awkward pause that may happen after an hour of chatting when both of you are running out of things to say.
  2. If you want to play it cool, you shouldn't be too obvious about why you're leaving and make your crush think you are interesting and mysterious. Here's how to do it:
    • Casually say, "I'm going out now," so your crush wonders where you're going and who you're going with. Leave it ambiguous. This will also make it sound like you have lots of friends and an active social life.
    • Even if you have no reason to go, don't say so. Don't say, "Well, I guess I better stop chatting so much," or "Gotta go water my plants." This will make it sound like you have nothing exciting going on in your life.
  3. You don't have to be obvious about it, but you can let your crush know that you had fun chatting and that you're looking forward to talking again. Here's what you should say:
    • "It's been fun talking to you" or "thanks for the advice about..." Let him know that the conversation was meaningful without overdoing it.
    • "I'll talk to you soon." This will show that you are excited to talk to him again, but that you won't spend hours waiting around to see his screen name pop up again.
    • Don't be creepy [5] . Avoid saying things like, "That was the best conversation I've had in my entire life" or "What time will you be online again so we can chat more???"
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  • Question
    What should I talk to my crush about?
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    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
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    If you know that you share a common interest, chat about that! You can also try asking questions to get to know them better, like “So, what do you like to do in your free time?”
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    How do I talk to my crush online?
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    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
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    Try opening with something casual, like, “Hey, how’s it going?” Keep the conversation light and playful and avoid heavy or negative topics so you don’t overwhelm your crush. If your crush responds with long, detailed responses, that’s a good sign that they’re interested in chatting. If they don’t answer or stick to one-word answers, they might not feel like chatting. If that happens, back off and try again another time.
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    If I tell my crush that she is beautiful and she responds with a blush sticker, does she like me?
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    Maybe. The only thing that you should do is not assume anything or expect too much.
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      Tips

      • Be relaxed in the way you talk to them. Don't reply to them instantly; it makes you seem too keen. [6]
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      • Most importantly, just be yourself. Don't try too hard; don't even try too hard to not try too hard. After all, do you want them falling in love with someone who isn't even the real you? [7]
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      • If your crush does not talk back straight away, do not nudge him. He may just be away from his computer.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Don't flirt **too** much right away. It'll set a bad vibe, and if he/she isn't interested yet it may damage your chances with them by coming on too strong.
      • Try to keep things light and funny at first and get to know them better. Then, you can start to ask them heavy questions.
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      Warnings

      • If you're meeting up with a person you've only met online, make sure to do it in a public place, like a park or a coffee shop. This way, you can make sure he's not a creep. Don't meet at his apartment or another place where you can't get immediate help if something goes wrong.
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      • If you know your crush outside of the Internet, then these tips will work best. If it's a person you online know online but are developing a crush on, make sure he is who he says he is before you reveal personal information like your phone number and address.
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      • You may be falling in love with your crush online, and can be very disappointed when you actually meet. He may have a charming online persona but could be a real dud in person--it happens all the time.
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      Things You'll Need

      • An Instagram account
      • A computer or a phone
      • Your crush's Instagram
      • The Internet

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/magnetic-partners/202010/the-importance-shared-interests-in-relationships
      2. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-ask-someone-out/
      3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/ocd/psychology-of-obsessions
      4. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-starters-topics/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202209/9-things-that-can-make-a-man-seem-creepy
      6. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-make-a-conversation-with-a-girl/
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/mindful-dating/202204/11-ways-build-dating-confidence

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