This article was co-authored by Joseph Phillips
and by wikiHow staff writer, Raven Minyard, BA
. Joseph Phillips, MSW is a Clinical Therapist and Social Worker at Transformative Growth Counseling, which is based in Illinois and Florida. He specializes in relationship and attachment therapy and treats anxiety, depression, trauma, and substance use. He earned a Master of Social Work from Tulane University in New Orleans, Louisiana, and he completed his clinical internship with Transformative Growth Counseling. Joseph is also certified in disaster and collective trauma counseling.
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If someone you know recently lost their mother, a great way to show support is by offering them a condolence message, whether in person, with a note or sympathy card, or over text. It can be difficult to find the right words to say, so we’ve gathered a list of all the best condolences for the loss of a mother, with professional advice from clinical therapist and social worker Joseph Phillips. Plus, learn how to provide further comfort to someone who is grieving and when it’s appropriate to send your condolences.
Example Words of Sympathy for the Loss of a Mother
- “Your mother’s legacy lives on in you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “Your mother has made a difference in so many lives. I’m grateful to be part of her family.”
- “Grief is a journey, and I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
- “No one can replace your mom, but I want you to know that I’m here whenever you need me.”
- “There are no words for such a sad time. My condolences.”
- “Cherish all of your wonderful memories. I’m here for you if you need anything.”
- “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
Steps
General Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Mother
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Offer sympathy and support for someone who lost their mother. The death of a mother can be extremely painful, to say the least. A kind and supportive condolence message can provide comfort during the grieving process. When writing a condolence letter, Phillips recommends “[expressing] remorse for [the] person and making sure that [they know you’re] there and available for support.” Here are some examples of what you might say: [1] X Research source
- “Your mother was a wonderful woman, and her legacy lives on in you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “I’m sure you made your mother so proud. I’m sorry her light is gone from your life.”
- “I loved your mother’s warm smile and her welcoming personality. I can’t believe she’s gone. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. She was a wonderful person who touched the lives of everyone around her. May you find solace and strength in the memories you shared together.”
- “Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your mother. Her love and guidance will forever be a part of you.”
- “Losing a mother is an unimaginable pain. Please know that you are not alone in your grief. Lean on the love and support of your loved ones as you navigate this difficult journey.”
- “I can’t find the words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Your mother’s kind and loving legacy will continue to inspire all of us. Know that I’m here for you during this difficult time.”
- “The loss of a mother leaves a void that words cannot fill. Please accept my heartfelt condolences, and may you find comfort in the arms of those who care about you.”
- “My heart aches for you and your family during this time of loss. Your mother's life was a true blessing, and her memory will forever be a source of inspiration.”
- “Words feel inadequate to grief and sorrow for a loss so great. Sending a warm embrace and all my love during this sad time.”
- “Mothers never truly leave us. Just look in your heart, and she’ll be there. Thinking of you always.”
- “In loving memory of your mom. Thinking of you and hoping you find peace and strength in the days ahead.”
- “I don’t know anyone who didn’t look up to your mom. She was one of the kindest, most genuine people I ever met. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.”
- “She shined so bright that the memory of her light will never dim. Sending strength and comfort.”
- “Your mom was a special lady who touched the lives of everyone she knew. She will be sorely missed.”
Condolence Messages for Family Members
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Let your family member know you’re there for them. After someone loses a parent, it’s often important for the rest of the family to offer support and comfort throughout the grieving process. If someone in your family lost their mother, let them know how much their mother meant to the family and that you’ll be there to support them. Here are some examples: [2] X Research source
- “Your mother was an amazing person who led a remarkable life. I feel so lucky that she was a part of our family.”
- “Our family will not be the same without your mother. I know we’ll find comfort in each other and get through this together.”
- “There are no words for the legacy your mom left on our family. Her shining personality will live on in our hearts.”
- “Your mother has made a difference in so many lives. I’m grateful to be a member of her family.”
- “As you navigate the difficult days ahead, please know that you aren't alone. As your family, we are here to help.”
- “May you find peace and comfort in knowing that we share in your grief. Your mom was an amazing person and will be missed by the whole family.”
- “Your mother touched so many people with her faith and kindness. I hope it will comfort you to know that others are missing her right along with you. Sending love and prayers your way.”
- “Your mother is irreplaceable, but know that the rest of the family is here to offer love and support.”
- “I am deeply saddened by the loss of your mother. Her unwavering love and nurturing presence will always be remembered. May you find strength in the beautiful memories you shared, and may her spirit rest in peace.”
- “During this sad time of immense sorrow, I want you to know that I am here for you. Your mother's love was a beacon of light that brought warmth and joy to all who knew her. May her legacy inspire you to embrace life's challenges with the same grace and resilience she displayed.”
- “I am profoundly sorry for the loss of your dear mother. Her love and presence touched the lives of many, and her memory will forever be etched in our hearts. May you find strength in the love and support of those around you as you navigate through this painful journey.”
- “I already miss your mom dearly. She was such an inspiration and had a huge impact on who I’ve become. I wish you comfort and peace during this sad time.”
- “I’m truly blessed and honored to have known your mother and have her be part of my life journey. She was beautiful and always did whatever she could to help others. She’ll be deeply missed.”
- “I am so sorry for your loss. I know how special your mom was to you, and it breaks my heart to see you having to go through this.”
- “No words can express the emptiness we feel without your mother. Even though her physical presence is gone, we’ll never forget her impact on our lives.”
Condolence Messages for Friends
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Provide comfort for a close friend who lost their mother. Losing a parent is extremely difficult, and your friend will likely feel comforted that you’re there to support them. Let your friend know how much you mean to them and how you’ll be with them through thick and thin. Try one of the following messages: [3] X Research source
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is a journey, and I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
- “Though I don’t know the pain that you’re feeling, please know that I’m here for you no matter what. At any hour, I’m just a phone call away.”
- “I know your world is so dark right now. Sending you light through my love. I’ll always be there for you.”
- “I’m thinking of you as you celebrate your mom’s beautiful life. She will live on in your heart.”
- “My dear friend, how I wish I could make your pain go away. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “While I cannot stop the pain you’re going through, know that I’m here for you with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.”
- “We’re deeply sorry for your loss. Our family will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.”
- “Please know that I am just a call or text away. Reach out anytime for any reason. I'm here for you now and always.”
- “We’ve shared so much through the years, and I’m here now to share the weight of your loss. Whatever you need, I’ll be by your side.”
- “Moms are so special, and yours was truly wonderful. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “Words fail to express the depth of sorrow I feel for you and your relatives. Your mother was a wonderful person who radiated love and compassion. During this time of sorrow, may you find comfort in the support of loved ones, and may the beautiful memories of your mother bring you peace and healing.”
- “I know that grief comes in waves. That’s why I intend to be with you throughout this difficult journey.”
- “I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your mom, but I’m sure she was a special person because she raised an amazing human being: you. Wishing you peace and comfort during this unimaginable time.”
- “I am so sorry about your mom. All the times you spent with her were truly precious gifts that no one can ever take away from you.”
- “You are not alone during this time; I am here for you through thick and thin and will always be by your side, no matter what happens.”
Condolence Messages for Coworkers
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Offer your condolences to grieving coworkers. Relationships with coworkers are often unique; you may be really close to some while you don’t know others well at all. Try to cater your condolence message to your relationship. If your interactions have been mainly business-related, Phillips suggests “acknowledging that person's loss and showing that you sympathize with them, but maybe not expressing as much emotional vulnerability.” Here are some examples: [4] X Research source
- “I’m so saddened to hear of the loss of your mother. Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
- “Please accept my deepest condolences to you over the loss of your mother. I offer you my heartfelt support and friendship during this time.”
- “I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m holding you in my thoughts and hoping you’re doing okay.”
- “Sending love, thoughts, and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time.”
- “I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I know how much her smile brightened your day. I’m here if you need anything.”
- “Sometimes there are no words for a loss so great. Praying for healing in the days to come. Thinking of you.”
- “Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. Hoping that the support of loved ones brings you comfort during this sad time.”
- “If there wasn’t so much love, it wouldn’t be this hard to say goodbye. My thoughts are with you during this painful time.”
- “Though I didn’t know your mother, I know you, and that means she must have been amazing. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
- “No one can replace your mom, but I want you to know that I’m here whenever you need me.”
- “My heart aches for you. Your mom's love will endure in your heart forever.”
- “I offer my deepest sympathies for the passing of your mother. May the support of friends and colleagues provide comfort during this challenging period.”
- “In this time of loss, may you find solace in the memories you shared with your mother. My sincere sympathies are with you and your family.”
- “My thoughts are with you as you navigate the sorrow of losing your mother. Wishing you strength and peace in the midst of grief.”
- “I am deeply sorry for your loss. Your mother's impact on our workplace and the lives she touched will be remembered with gratitude.”
Condolence Messages for Acquaintances
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Offer your sympathies to someone you don’t know well. Even if you don’t know someone that well, it’s still kind and appropriate to offer your condolences. If you don’t know much about the grieving person or their relationship with their mother, it may be best to focus on offering your sympathies in your message. Here are some examples: [5] X Research source
- “I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Wishing you peace during this difficult time.”
- “I’m sorry to hear of the passing of your mother. Sending all my love.”
- “Keeping you close in our hearts. Our deepest sympathy.”
- “May happy memories help lessen your sorrow during these difficult times. Thinking of you.”
- “Wishing you peace and comfort during these difficult days.”
- “My heart goes out to you and your family. My deepest condolences for your loss.”
- “There are no words for such a sad time. My condolences.”
- “We are saddened to learn of your loss. Please know that we’re thinking of you and are here for anything you may need.”
- “My deepest sympathies go to you right now. Know that you’re in my thoughts every day.”
- “My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you in this time of infinite sadness.”
- “Sending love and strength as you grieve the loss of your dear mother.”
- “Sincere sympathy for your loss. Your mom's love will be a lasting legacy.”
- “I offer my deepest condolences. May your mom's memory bring you peace.”
- “During this time of mourning, please accept my sincere sympathies for the loss of your mother. May her soul rest in peace.”
- “With friendship and love, we’re thinking of you and your family in this time of sorrow.”
Short Condolence Messages
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Keep things short if you don’t know what to say. Trying to figure out the perfect message for a condolence card can be difficult, especially if you don’t know the person well or don’t know the circumstances of the death. Still, a short message is better than no message at all, as it shows the grieving person you acknowledge their loss and care about their situation. Here are a few examples of what you could say: [6] X Research source
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
- “The sky is so gray for you right now; I hope the clouds part soon.”
- “Thinking of you and hoping there is sunshine in your life soon.”
- “Our hearts are breaking for you. We hate that you’re going through this.”
- “Sending my most heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.”
- “My heart goes out to you, and I wish you nothing but comfort and strength.”
- “Your mother was a lovely person. May she rest in peace.”
- “Cherish all of your wonderful memories. I’m here for you if you need anything.”
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. Know that I’m thinking of you in this trying time.”
- “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m here to help in any way I can.”
- “May love and comfort wrap you in their warm embrace during this difficult time.”
- “During this difficult time, may faith, family and friends bring you peace.”
- “Sending you strength today and peace in all the days ahead.”
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. Those who live in our memories are never truly gone.”
- “Just a note to let you know we share in your sadness as you mourn the passing of your mom.”
Religious Condolence Messages
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Offer a religious person comfort during a painful time. If the grieving person is religious, they may seek comfort through their religion and feel a sense of relief that their mother is now with God. Consider offering them a Bible verse (or another religious message if they aren’t Christian) as a form of support. Here are some examples: [7] X Research source
- “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” – Psalm 62:1-2
- “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” – Psalm 126:5-6
- “The Lord your God is with you, and he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17
- “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
- “God's grace is all-powerful and can give you the strength to get through anything.”
- “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18
- “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.”
- “When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel you know.”
- “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." – John 11:25,2
- “In this moment of sorrow, may God's grace surround you. Your mother's spirit now rests in His eternal embrace.”
- “I extend my sincere condolences. May God's love and strength guide you through the pain of losing your dear mother.”
- “As you mourn, may the promises of God bring you hope. Your mother's legacy of faith will forever be a guiding light in your life.”
- “Wishing you God's peace that transcends all understanding. Your mother's spirit is now with Him, free from pain and suffering.”
- “I offer my prayers and condolences. May God's grace sustain you, and may the memories of your mother be a testament to His enduring love.”
- “My heart aches for your loss. May the Lord's presence be a source of comfort as you grieve the passing of your beloved mother.”
Sympathy Quotes for the Loss of a Mother
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Choose an appropriate quote if you don’t know what to say. It’s often hard to find the right words to say when someone is grieving. If you’re struggling, consider adding a well-known quote about mourning or sympathy. Here are some examples: [8] X Research source
- “Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II
- “There is love in holding and there is love in letting go.” – Elizabeth Berg
- “It is not length of life, but depth of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be.” – Joan Didion
- “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller
- “Death is nothing else but going home to God. The bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity.” – Mother Teresa
- “There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery.” – Dante Alighieri
- “Unable are the Loved to die / For Love is Immortality.” – Emily Dickinson, “Poem 809”
- “There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” – Mahatma Gandhi
- “Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
- “A great soul serves everyone all the time. A great soul never dies. It brings us together again and again.” – Maya Angelou
- “What is lovely never dies but passes into another loveliness: stardust or seafoam, flower or winged air.” – Thomas Bailey Aldrich
- “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
- “Death ends a life, not a relationship. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.” – Mitch Albom
- “Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.” – Leo Buscaglia
Comforting Someone Who Lost Their Mother
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1Be a good listener. Let the grieving person know you’re there if they want to talk. They may not open up immediately, but this shows them that it’s okay to talk about their feelings. Allow them to speak openly and listen patiently; repeating the story of their loved one’s death is often a way of processing grief. [9] X Research source
- When it’s your turn to talk, try to be candid and avoid steering the conversation away from the subject of death. If appropriate, ask sensitive questions that encourage the person to open up, like “Do you feel like talking about it?”
- Be willing to sit in silence. Don’t press them if they don’t feel like talking. Sometimes, being in the presence of someone who cares provides enough comfort.
- Phillips says, “Part of mourning is having memories, and especially good memories can help someone kind of move through those stages of grief.” If the person is willing, see if they want to talk about fond memories they have with their mother.
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2Understand the grieving process. Everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Be prepared to handle mood swings and a rollercoaster of emotions, as feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, and fear are common. Don’t judge the person or take their behavior personally. [10] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- There is no set timetable for grief. Don’t try to pressure the grieving person to move on or feel like they’ve been grieving too long. This pressure can actually slow the healing process.
- Grieving people don’t always go through the stages of grief in order. Phillips says the process can be cyclical: “Acceptance doesn't mean that they will never have those other feelings again.” They may feel anger, depression, and denial at different points in their life after the initial loss.
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3Avoid giving advice. While you might mean well, offering advice to someone who is grieving can often make them feel worse. Don’t make suggestions about what they should or shouldn’t do, and instead, focus on offering your support and acknowledging their pain. [11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If the person does want advice, try phrasing it as “Have you thought about…” or “You might try…” rather than directly saying what they should do. Still, only offer advice if they explicitly ask for it.
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4Offer to help with tasks. A grieving person may not directly ask for help because they fear being a burden, but they’ll likely appreciate help with more mundane tasks like grocery shopping, preparing meals, doing laundry, etc. Instead of asking what you can do to help, make specific suggestions about tasks you’re willing to help with. Try to be consistent with your help so the person knows you’ll be there for them. [12] X Research source
- For example, say something like, “I’m going to the store this afternoon. What can I bring you?” or “I’ve made a casserole for dinner. When can I stop by and bring you some?”
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5Check in and be available often. The grieving person will likely need support long after the funeral, as that’s when the initial shock begins to wear off. Stay connected and check in with them regularly. Offer extra support on special days, like holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries when their grief may resurface. Continue to offer your support for the long haul. [13] X Research source
When to Send a Condolence Message
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Send your condolences as soon as possible. In most cases, it is proper etiquette to send a condolence message as soon as you learn about the death. Or, send a card or message within a few days of the funeral or memorial service, if there is one. If you aren’t able to send your message immediately, apologize for the delay and explain that it was hard for you to find the words to say. It’s never too late to let someone know that you acknowledge their loss and are thinking of them. [14] X Research source
- As a general rule, the closer you are to someone, the sooner you should send your condolences. If you’re more casually acquainted, it may be best to offer your condolences around the time of the funeral or memorial.
- There are many acceptable ways to send your condolences to someone. Speak to them in person, write them a letter , or offer them a sympathy card . When you find out about the death, call them or send them a text .
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- Be sensitive to the grieving person’s relationship with their mother. If they had a strained relationship or if you’re not sure how close they were, it may be better to avoid saying things like, “She was a wonderful mother.” Instead, focus on offering your sympathies.Thanks
- Remember, everyone grieves differently, so don’t judge the person if they aren’t acting the way you expected them to.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://parade.com/1174629/michelle-parkerton/what-to-say-to-someone-who-lost-a-parent/
- ↑ https://www.womansworld.com/life/relationships/sympathy-message-for-loss-of-mother
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/what-to-say-to-someone-who-lost-a-parent/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/condolence-messages/
- ↑ https://www.womansworld.com/life/relationships/sympathy-message-for-loss-of-mother
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/what-to-say-to-someone-who-lost-a-parent/
- ↑ https://www.womansworld.com/life/relationships/sympathy-message-for-loss-of-mother
- ↑ https://parade.com/1075647/stephanieosmanski/sympathy-quotes/
- ↑ https://www.cancercare.org/publications/67-how_to_help_someone_who_is_grieving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://www.cancercare.org/publications/67-how_to_help_someone_who_is_grieving
- ↑ https://www.cancercare.org/publications/67-how_to_help_someone_who_is_grieving
- ↑ https://www.seniorliving.com/article/10-etiquette-tips-sending-sympathy-cards