How to Date a Taller Girlfriend With Confidence

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Learn how to flourish in a relationship with a taller woman
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A dating taboo that won’t go away says that a man should always be taller than his partner—or, at least, the same height. With gender norms and stereotypes becoming less and less relevant, there's no better time for you to ask out that long-legged lady. Keep reading for tips from dating coaches Laura Bilotta and John Keegan on how to best approach the tall girl you adore, plus how to make sure you both feel comfortable and secure with your relationship.

How to Date a Girl That is Taller Than You

Accept that she’s taller than you and compliment how great she looks. Have confidence in yourself and in your masculinity so she feels desired and secure. Try to avoid mentioning her height all the time and ignore judgmental comments from other people—their opinions really don't matter.

Section 1 of 4:

Best Tips for Dating a Taller Girlfriend

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  1. There is nothing either of you can do to change the fact that she's taller. Think about what is really important in a relationship—Do you get along? Do you have chemistry? Do you have similar interests? Don't let something superficial and beyond your control ruin what could potentially be a wonderful, fulfilling partnership. [1] “Stop making it a big deal. Stop fixating, and stop bringing it up. There’s no point in directing your energy and focus toward a physical quality you cannot change,” notes dating coach Laura Bilotta. [2]
    • Think about who actually cares about your height difference. Are you afraid people are going to laugh or make comments? Don't let other people's pettiness stop you from finding happiness. Simply put, don’t worry about what others think.
    • If you truly can't get over the fact that she's taller than you, you may have some soul-searching to do. Ask yourself why it matters to you and if it truly makes a difference in the quality of your connection with someone.
    • If she turns you down because you're not tall enough, then forget about her. If she's not willing to see beyond a superficial difference, you're better off finding someone else.
  2. You may think it's cute or cheeky to tease her about her height—opening with a line like "What's the weather like up there?" or "Wow, do you play basketball? Can you dunk?"—is going to make you look insecure and make her feel awkward or even angry. [3] She knows she's tall, and she's probably heard those lame jokes a million times. Make it clear you're interested in getting to know her and her personality and that you're not hung up on something superficial like her height. It’s just as important for her to feel confident about herself as it is for you.
    • Unless she brings it up first, don't mention her height until you've gotten to know each other. Then you can tell her how her long legs are super sexy. [4]
    • If she addresses your height difference, tell her you don't think it's an issue. Let her know you think it's an asset, but it's not something you spend a lot of time worrying about. [5]
    • You can treat a tall woman's height as you would a woman with an ample chest; even if it's part of her appeal, you would never walk up to a woman with large breasts and ask about her bra size. [6]
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  3. 3
    Don’t let negative comments about height get you down. Whether you’re dating a taller girl or are attracted to tall girls in general, friends and acquaintances may have a problem with it, even if you don’t. They may poke fun or make jokes about you being shorter than her or make judgments. Comments like, “Does she spoon you?” or “Does she always win at basketball” get old fast. Don’t let them dissuade you from dating someone you really like just because people you associate with don’t have the same preferences. [7]
    • Random strangers sometimes feel the need to make comments about a couple where the man is shorter than the woman. They’re probably just jealous, so be proud of who you are and who your partner is (and how good you look together).
    • Confidence is everything when you’re dating, so it’s important to focus on yourself, the other person, and your relationship. Spending time obsessing over what other people think doesn’t leave time and energy for your relationship, so enjoy your partner instead.
  4. Bilotta believes that “you can still be strong, kind, considerate, and chivalrous. You can also make a woman feel safe, respected, and desired.” [8] The most attractive characteristic of a man or woman is self-confidence and feeling good about who you are. If you are insecure about your height and constantly remind her of how much taller she is, or if you ask her not to wear heels because it makes you feel uncomfortable, you're going to look like you're not secure with who you are. It may also make her feel like you think something is wrong with her. Never underestimate yourself and who you are when you’re trying to get with a girl ) you like. [9]
    • Dating a tall woman will actually make you appear more confident. If you're a short guy and you're comfortable with your tall lady wearing heels, it will be clear that you feel good about yourself and your relationship and that you have a great connection that is greater than outdated taboos.
    • Don't try to always stand in a position that makes you seem taller than her (on a curb or one step above her on an escalator). She’ll notice what you are doing, and it’ll suggest to her that you’re not comfortable with yourself or the fact that she's taller. [10]
    Compliment her height for confidence. "As a shorter guy dating a tall woman, I used to feel insecure about her height advantage. But this article taught me to see her long legs and overall stature as assets. Now, I regularly compliment her statuesque figure, telling her she looks amazing in heels. Seeing how much it boosts her confidence in us as a couple made me realize the power of appreciating qualities instead of getting hung up on them." - Justin D.
    Get over past embarrassment for success. "After getting laughed at all through middle school for having a girlfriend who eventually became much taller than me, I carried that self-consciousness about my height for years. Even in college, when no one cared, I still felt that childhood embarrassment. Reading this guide helped me finally move past the old baggage and recognize my height doesn't dictate my worth or success with taller women. Now, I feel confident enough to ask out tall women again rather than limiting my options due to old hurts." - Brian V.
    Treat her with chivalry. "As a guy on the short side, I used to feel intimidated about dating tall women, wondering if I could make them still feel dainty and feminine. This article emphasized old-fashioned chivalry, like opening car doors or pulling out chairs for dates. Even when I had to reach up to give my girlfriend a kiss, those consistent gentlemanly gestures reassured her of being treated in a special way. I've noticed she stands and moves with more ease now." - Steven Q.
    Celebrate your girlfriend's height. "I'll admit as a shorter guy, I lacked insight into the female experience of being unusually tall. After reading this, I better understand little things that can inadvertently undermine tall women's confidence—like wearing hidden lifts to sneak extra height. Now better equipped to empathize with my girlfriend's viewpoint, I feel ready to support her through whatever height-related insecurities pop up rather than risk worsening them." - Jake R.
    We want to hear from you! Advice from our readers makes our articles better. If you have a story you’d like to share, tell us here .
  5. The height difference is not something to just put up with, it's another quality to appreciate in your amazing partner. Even if you’re comfortable being shorter than your girl, she may still feel awkward or worry that you are self-conscious about it. Once she knows you like her for her personality, let her know that you think her height is just as cool as her wicked sense of humor, her ability to quote your favorite movies, her incredible math skills, and all the other things that make her special.
    • Don't try to get her to slouch so she appears shorter or ask her to wear only flats.
    • Compliment her height and her long legs. Remind her that her stature only adds to her appeal.
  6. Most women will say they prefer a taller man because it makes them feel more feminine since she's probably heard most of her life that to be bigger than a man in any way is a turn-off. [11] If a tall woman has any insecurities about her height, it usually boils down to feeling like she's intimidating or "mannish." [12] Make her feel feminine by putting your hand on the small of her back or around her waist. Put your arm around her when you're sitting next to each other. Don't discourage her from wearing heels if she wants to.
    • She may appreciate it if you behave with a certain classic masculinity. Be assertive (but not rude or controlling). Make the first move and kiss her first. [13]
    • You can still be the big spoon while cuddling, you may just need to adjust how you would normally lie next to her. Or why not take a turn as the little spoon?
  7. 7
    Understand that she is more than just her height. When you’re with her, focus on how charming her personality is, how beautiful her eyes are, or other aspects of what drew you to her in the first place. Spend time asking her deep questions about her thoughts, dreams, and goals. Soon, you’ll see that there are so many more interesting parts that make up both of you that you’ll hardly ever mention height again. [14]
  8. Certainly, you are both aware that you're shorter than she is, but if she's going out with you, it means she doesn't care about that. She sees something in you that is more important than your physical appearance. The fact that she's not about to let the opinions of others stop her from dating you should make you feel confident in your relationship.
    • Remember that you have every right to date whoever is interested in you. Dating coach John Keegan suggests that “why height matters isn't necessarily the right question for a guy to ask; he doesn’t have to just date a girl his height—he can date all kinds of girls.” [15]
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    How you make your partner feel is far more important than your height. That's why you should focus on your unique qualities, like your charisma and personality. These attributes are the true secret to romantic success—not your height.

  9. If you’re having issues with feeling short, you can try and dress taller—it’s important to remember that you should only do this if you and your girlfriend have discussed the height difference and you both still feel uncomfortable with it. If you start trying to be sneaky and wear shoes that make you look taller just so you feel better, she's going to notice and think you're insecure.
    • Wear boots or sneakers with a thicker sole. You can also wear lifts inside your shoe, which make you appear taller without having to wear a heeled shoe.
    • Wear tailored clothes with vertical stripes. Loose, baggy clothes can make you appear smaller or shorter in stature, and vertical stripes will make your body appear longer. [16]
    • Style your hair in a pompadour or spike it up with gel. The key is to keep it short on the sides but leave lots of volume up top.
    • Stand up straight! Not only does good posture just look better, but you may find you're not that much shorter than your girlfriend after all. Keep your shoulders back and your head high. You'll even look more confident. [17]
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Section 2 of 4:

Benefits of Dating a Taller Girl

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  1. 1
    They give great hugs. Their long limbs can wrap around you until you feel like you’re being hugged completely. You’ll find comfort and warmth in their full embrace more than you might with someone shorter. Hugging is such an important part of any relationship, so enjoy the many hugs you’ll get! [18]
  2. 2
    You don’t have to bend down to kiss them. You don’t have to put stress on your back anytime you want to give them a kiss. Just enjoy kissing them without having to do as much of the work. When it comes time to kiss, they’ll also see you from an angle that makes you look your absolute best.
  3. 3
    They have great legs. No matter what body type they have, it’s more than likely taller girls have amazing legs. Enjoy their well-built, long legs any time they get dressed up (even in heels). It’s one of the perks of dating a taller girl that comes with the experience.
  4. 4
    They’re better at being patient. Because tall girls have to often search for clothes and shoes that fit them right, they’re used to working harder to get what they want. Tall girls tend to have more patience, which can only benefit you when you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship with them. [19]
  5. 5
    They’ll never ask you to get anything from the top shelf. Be honest—isn’t it sometimes annoying when your girlfriend asks you to reach for something high up that she can’t get to? Tall girls nip this issue in the bud by reaching for items on a high shelf themselves, so sit back, relax, and focus on the fun parts of the relationship.
  6. 6
    There is more to love. When you’re attracted to a girl who is taller than you, you’ve got much more of her to enjoy. Whether it’s her graceful arms, long legs, or statuesque shoulders, enjoy the extra inches that come with who she is. Because the dating pool is often smaller for taller girls, she’s also likely to have a terrific personality to go along with her tall frame.
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Section 3 of 4:

Dating a Girl That is Taller Than You FAQs

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  1. 1
    Is it OK to date a girl taller than you? It’s completely normal to date a girl who’s taller than you. What matters most are your personal preferences (along with hers). Those who find height differences attractive have no reason not to ask a taller girl out if she intrigues them. If you’re focused on other aspects of her looks and personality, it won’t be difficult for you to forget about the height difference. [20]
  2. 2
    Can a guy marry a girl taller than him? Deciding to marry someone is about much more than height differences. It involves the compatibility between your personality and hers, how well you both get along, and your general attraction to each other. Marriage is about loyalty, compassion, and love; even if height seems to be a factor while dating, it often falls into the background once two people dedicate themselves to each other. [21]
  3. 3
    How do you kiss a girl taller than you? To kiss a taller girl , you’d step in close to her and raise yourself on your tiptoes (if necessary). You can also use your surroundings (like a step or a ledge) to help you both even out when you’re kissing someone taller . Try kissing each other while sitting down as another option to give your smooth sessions some variety—hint: it also works for hugging a tall girl . [22]
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Section 4 of 4:

Final Thoughts

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  1. Dating taller girls is a wonderful experience for the right guy. If you have self-confidence and accept her height without harping on it, you and she can enjoy a loving relationship that is based on more than how tall you are. Concentrate on what makes her happy, offer her compliments by making her feel feminine, and know that she is more than just her height. Remember, she’s interested in you for who you are too, and not how tall you are—be yourself and enjoy the relationship.

Get More Dates with this Expert Series for Men

Dating is hard. We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you get more dates, go on better dates, and ultimately find your person.
1
Look Attractive (Guys)
2
Flirt with a Girl over Text
3
Ask a Girl Out
4
Impress a Girl on a Date
5
Ask a Girl for a Kiss
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  • Question
    How do I date a girl that is taller than me?
    Laura Bilotta
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.
    Laura Bilotta
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Height doesn't have to be a deciding factor in a relationship. There are plenty of ways to show that you're strong, kind, considerate, and chivalrous. If you make her feel safe, respected, and desired, you shouldn't have a problem dating a girl who's taller than you.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/attraction/tall-women-are-men-attracted-or-intimidated/#.Vcz7gVNViko
      2. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.
      3. ↑ https://www.providencejournal.com/story/lifestyle/2013/07/06/20130706-tips-for-dating-a-woman-who-is-taller-than-you-ece/35406535007/
      4. ↑ http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a26348/date-a-taller-woman/
      5. ↑ https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/attraction/tall-women-are-men-attracted-or-intimidated/#.Vcz7gVNViko
      6. ↑ https://www.providencejournal.com/story/lifestyle/2013/07/06/20130706-tips-for-dating-a-woman-who-is-taller-than-you-ece/35406535007/
      7. ↑ https://youtu.be/zZL0cBCpXNY?si=xnhu2YVIUsC4ZUsz&t=693
      8. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.
      9. ↑ https://www.providencejournal.com/story/lifestyle/2013/07/06/20130706-tips-for-dating-a-woman-who-is-taller-than-you-ece/35406535007/
      1. ↑ https://www.providencejournal.com/story/lifestyle/2013/07/06/20130706-tips-for-dating-a-woman-who-is-taller-than-you-ece/35406535007/
      2. ↑ http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a26348/date-a-taller-woman/
      3. ↑ http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a26348/date-a-taller-woman/
      4. ↑ http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a26348/date-a-taller-woman/
      5. ↑ https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a26348/date-a-taller-woman/
      6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 12 Mar 2021.
      7. ↑ http://www.hairfinder.com/fashion/dress-taller.htm
      8. ↑ http://www.menshealth.co.uk/fitness/sports-injuries/improve-your-posture
      9. ↑ https://yourstory.com/mystory/31fc67f759-perks-of-dating-a-tall-girl
      10. ↑ https://yourstory.com/mystory/31fc67f759-perks-of-dating-a-tall-girl
      11. ↑ https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/attraction/tall-women-are-men-attracted-or-intimidated/
      12. ↑ https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/attraction/tall-women-are-men-attracted-or-intimidated/
      13. ↑ https://tallslimtees.com/blogs/blog/tall-people-problem-how-to-kiss-short-people

      About This Article

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      If you're dating a girl whose taller than you, treat her like you would anyone else and don't pay too much attention to her height. Avoid making jokes about her height, because they will make her uncomfortable. Try not to talk about her height until you get to know her better, since this will show her that you want to get to know her as an individual rather than judge her superficially. When you spend time together, make her feel feminine by putting your arm around her or encouraging her to wear heels, since tall women sometimes get told they’re not ladylike. Additionally, act confidently to show you feel secure in who you are, which is one of the most attractive qualities in a partner. For tips on how to dress for a date so you look taller, read on!

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