Most people have daydreamed or had waking fantasies at some point in their lives. It's easy to find your mind wandering off when you should be paying attention to some task at hand. But, some people use daydreams or fantasies as a way to deal with everyday life or to entertain themselves. This type of daydreaming, known as maladaptive daydreaming, can prevent people from fully interacting with people and living their lives. [1] X Research source If you believe you are a maladaptive daydreamer, understand the condition and learn how to deal with it.
Steps
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Determine if your daydreaming is maladaptive. Since most everyone daydreams, you might assume that your frequent and detailed daydreams are normal. But, if you have maladaptive daydreaming, you're probably distressed by your difficulty in controlling the daydreams. You may also be upset with how they interfere with your life, which can create a lot of shame. You might also regularly struggle to keep the daydreaming behavior hidden. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source- The term "maladaptive daydreaming" was created in 2002, but is not yet recognized as an official condition in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. [3] X Research source
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Consider abuse as a possible cause. Abuse at a young age is common in those who experience maladaptive daydreams. What starts as imaginative daydreaming becomes full-fledged escapist fantasies. The maladaptive nature of the daydreams really starts impacting sufferers in the early or pre-teen years. [4] X Research source If you were abused and struggle with maladaptive dreaming, be sure to get help from a mental health professional.- For example, what starts as simple daydreaming in a child may turn into detailed fantasies after any kind of abuse or traumatic experience begins.
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Recognize traits of maladaptive daydreaming. In addition to early childhood abuse, kinesthetic elements are another shared trait. These are often repetitive movements, like tossing a ball or spinning something in your hand while daydreaming. [5] X Research source Other traits often include: [6] X Research source- Such a strong desire to daydream that it's compared to an addiction
- Incredibly detailed and complex daydreams
- Acting out the daydreams, but understanding the difference between reality and the daydreams (unlike schizophrenics or psychotics)
- Difficulty in fulfilling simply daily tasks (like eating, showering, sleeping) because of the daydreams
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Begin to recognize and avoid triggers. A trigger is an event, place, feeling, or thought that makes you start or return to maladaptive daydreaming. Identify your daydreaming triggers. You can make notes about when you daydream, and what was happening right before. For example, you may notice that when you go into a certain room, you have some of your best daydreams or you daydream when you're bored. Be aware of your triggers and make specific plans to avoid them.- For instance, if you are trying to avoid your trigger spot in the house, your plan might look like this: Do work in kitchen instead of bedroom. Get out of the house - go for a walk. Go to a coffee shop to work instead of at home.
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Sleep well. There are several things you can do to improve your sleep quality. Avoid caffeine or alcohol before bedtime, since these can wake you up or interfere with your sleep. You should also try to stick to a sleep schedule by going to bed and waking up at the same times each day. It may help to make a bedtime routine, like brushing your teeth, showering, and reading before bed. A routine can signal your brain that sleep is coming soon. [7] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source- Studies have shown that poor sleep quality or not enough leads to more frequent daydreaming. [8] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source It's also been linked to impaired memory, slower reaction time, impaired attention, and intrusive daydreaming.
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Stay engaged during the day. Keep your mind busy and mentally unavailable for daydreaming. Choose tasks that take your mental focus, like reading or crosswords. You could also engage your mind and body at the same time, like playing basketball or dancing. Or you could engage in social activities, like getting coffee with a friend or attending a local trivia event with co-workers.- One theory about daydreaming says that daydreaming is a self-soothing technique, used to calm or pacify the daydreamer. [9] X Research source In this case, try doing a self-soothing or self-care activity, like cooking dinner, doing yoga, or going with a friend for a pedicure.
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Count how many times you daydream to reduce episodes. You may struggle to completely cut out daydreaming. Instead, monitor how many times you catch yourself daydreaming during a certain amount of time. Then, tell yourself to reduce this number over time. For instance, you might set the timer for 3 minutes and record how many times you caught yourself daydreaming during that time. Repeat the process until your number starts decreasing. [10] X Research source- At first, you may not be able to catch yourself at all and the timer will go off in the middle of a daydream. This is fine. Let the timer interrupt your daydreaming until you learn to monitor the behavior yourself. [11] X Research source
- Setting a timer is a good form of self-monitoring which helps you take an active part in reducing daydreaming. Since it's a behavioral modification technique, the results can be long lasting. [12] X Research source
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Keep a journal to help you focus. While there's little research on maladaptive dreaming and treatments, users in maladaptive online forums report that journaling helps. Journaling, writing down thoughts, can help you order your mind and keep you from slipping into daydreaming. [13] X Research source Writing down your daydreams can help you slow down and live in the moment. Or, you can journal about how daydreaming emotionally affects you and the role it plays in your life.- Although research is needed to know why journaling can help maladaptive daydreamers, journaling has been shown to slow down thought processes, allow space for self discovery, and relieve tension. [14] X Research source
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Try to make your daydreaming productive. Once you've started noticing your daydreams and what triggers them, begin to pay attention to how they make you feel. You may notice that some make you anxious or paranoid while others get you energetic or motivated. If you frequently have the same daydreams, motivating you to do something, consider working towards making the goal of the dream happen. [15] X Research source- For example, maybe your mind frequently wanders to imagine if you lived in a foreign country and held a different job. What simply seems like a daydream could become a reality if you take steps to move somewhere else and find a new job.
EXPERT TIPLicensed Clinical PsychologistChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”Daydreaming about a specific person in your life can actually be counterproductive. When we fantasize about a person, we’re literally deluding ourselves into feeling that we’re actually spending time with them. Of course our conscious mind knows that’s not true, but there are other parts of our brain that don’t.
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Consider speaking with a therapist. Since maladaptive daydreaming is not yet recognized as a condition and research on it is still in the very early stages, there are no recommended medications or treatments yet. In fact, many medical providers may not have heard of it. But, you may benefit from meeting with a therapist or psychiatrist who may be able to help you work through underlying conditions of your daydreaming.- For example, if you find yourself slipping into daydreaming whenever you become stressed or irritated, you may be able to work with a therapist to develop coping strategies for stress or anger.
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Search for online communities. Maladaptive daydreaming is in the early stages regarding awareness, research, and treatment. The easiest way to talk about the condition and get tips is to find websites created by users with maladaptive daydreaming. These are actually the most active in trying to understand the condition. [16] X Research source- Be sure to follow any medical developments that come from studying maladaptive daydreaming. As more studies are done, new treatments and coping mechanisms may become available.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I stop daydreaming so much?Dr. Noel Hunter is a Clinical Psychologist based in New York City. She is the director and founder of MindClear Integrative Psychotherapy. She specializes in using a trauma-informed, humanistic approach for treating and advocating for people diagnosed with mental disorders. Dr. Hunter holds a BA in Psychology from the University of South Florida, an MA in Psychology from New York University, and a doctorate in Psychology (Psy.D) from Long Island University. She has been featured in National Geographic, BBC News, CNN, TalkSpace, and Parents magazine. She is also the author of the book Trauma and Madness in Mental Health Services.Probably the most helpful thing is practicing mindfulness skills. Once you start to daydream, try to bring yourself back to the present. If your mind wanders again, you try to bring yourself back to the present. There are online stress relief toys for adults that you can carry around and use to ground you and bring you back when you start drifting off.
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Tips
- Sharing your condition with others may help you conquer your problem or help them to understand.Thanks
- Talk to someone! You're not alone! There are many people out there like you.Thanks
- Remember Maladaptive Daydreaming isn't always a bad thing! You can use it to relax or you could even use it to come up something productive like a scene in the book you're writing or a new way to decorate your room. If you can't control it anymore that's when you need to get help for it.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- I've noticed that my daydreaming increases when I have too much free time, or if I'm under a lot of pressure. When you notice that your daydreaming is increasing, try to meditate, engage in physical activity, or have some social interaction with other people.
- Don't let the shame of being prone to maladaptive daydreaming prevent you from getting the help you need. There are tons of people out there who will support you and love you, no matter what!
- Try to channel your daydreams into a creative endeavor. You could write a novel or poem, compose a song, sketch, paint—whatever your heart desires!
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Warnings
- Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MDD) is commonly misdiagnosed as ADD, ADHD, or sometimes even as personality disorders. If you believe you have MDD, and you have been diagnosed with a similar disorder, talk to your therapist or doctor. Chances are that you may be getting treatment for something you don't have.Thanks
- Avoid trying to self-treat maladaptive daydreaming with drugs or alcohol. Hangovers may actually trigger maladaptive dreaming episodes.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=jUwhAQAAQBAJ&pg=PA155&lpg=PA155&dq=compulsive+fantasy&source=bl&ots=g-Mezzrrsg&sig=pcMCZ09n6aA1eInbdko8FQ53_pI&hl=en&sa=X&ei=QrSNVZjcG8fytQWgoJVY&ved=0CDkQ6AEwBTgK#v=onepage&q=daydream&f=false
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21959201
- ↑ http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/when-daydreaming-replaces-real-life/391319/
- ↑ https://www.somer.co.il/articles/2002Malaptdaydr.contemp.psych.pdf
- ↑ https://www.somer.co.il/articles/2002Malaptdaydr.contemp.psych.pdf
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/maladaptive-daydreaming-what-it-247629
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/sleep/art-20048379
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3946719/
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=jUwhAQAAQBAJ&pg=PA155&lpg=PA155&dq=compulsive+fantasy&s
- ↑ https://www.interventioncentral.org/self_management_self_monitoring
- ↑ https://www.interventioncentral.org/self_management_self_monitoring
- ↑ https://www.interventioncentral.org/self_management_self_monitoring
- ↑ http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/when-daydreaming-replaces-real-life/391319/
- ↑ http://www.goodtherapy.org/journal-therapy.html#
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-daydreaming/201001/how-work-your-daydreams
- ↑ http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/when-daydreaming-replaces-real-life/391319/
About This Article
Article Summary
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Maladaptive daydreaming, which involves using daydreams or fantasies to cope with everyday life, can keep you from fully interacting with others and living your life to the fullest. If you are a maladaptive daydreamer, you'll want to work on getting more restful sleep and staying fully engaged during the day. For example, avoid caffeine and alcohol before bedtime, and wake up and go to bed at the same time every day for a better night's sleep. Another way to deal with daydreaming is to stay engaged during the day since a busy mind can’t wander. For instance, read or do crosswords, or have an in-depth conversation with a friend. While you might struggle to fully stop daydreaming, count how many episodes you have a day and try to cut down to slowly reduce the number until you've overcome this habit. To learn how to make your daydreams productive, keep reading!
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Reader Success Stories
- "This article helped me, but also terrified me. I've never been able to do anything I want because I get busy daydreaming. I've failed in life due to this. I started getting anxiety and depression, I started losing myself to not be able to control my daydreaming. I thought I was stupid, damaged but now I feel as though I'm mentally damaged. It helps me that many more are here just like me, it's like having someone to share with. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. We're all in this together." ..." more
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"This article helped me, but also terrified me. I've never been able to do anything I want because I get busy daydreaming. I've failed in life due to this. I started getting anxiety and depression, I started losing myself to not be able to control my daydreaming. I thought I was stupid, damaged but now I feel as though I'm mentally damaged. It helps me that many more are here just like me, it's like having someone to share with. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. We're all in this together."
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"I actually have found a way to control my condition without treatment. I get triggered by music, and I have a collection with songs, each with its own dream that it will trigger. I have found a way to use my dreams as inspiration for my work as a graphic designer, and when I need inspiration I just put on a song and pace around a bit. If you know how to control it, MD can be very helpful, even fun to have!"
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"I have just read this article, this is really useful if we can use it in real life. I have been a daydreamer since 11 ysear old and failed in my studies and achieved nothing in my life. I had realized that daydreaming will harm my studies but it was too late and I had to adjust with an undergraduate degree. "
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"This article is amazing. It really helped me out. I was ashamed of my daydreams, which were pathetic and senselessly detailed. It caught me like an addiction but now I have reduced it down to less than 5 minutes a day in just a single week after reading this."
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"I have this same problem. Mostly I purposely do it to keep me happy, but I am struggling to live real life. I like the idea to know the triggers. Now I am thinking it might be my thoughts to do something in life or want to be that. Thank you for sharing this."
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