The 55+ Funniest Duck Jokes for Kids & Adults

PDF download Download Article
Plus, how to deliver a funny duck joke to make it land
PDF download Download Article

Looking to hatch a duck joke that makes everyone laugh hard enough to shake a tail feather? Then, you’ve come to the right place. This article includes more than 55 hilarious duck jokes , puns , and one-liners for kids and adults. Plus, we spoke with standup comedian Kendall Payne and public speaking coach Patrick Muñoz for their best advice on when and how to tell a joke.

The Best Jokes About Ducks

  • What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles .
  • What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nut-quacker .
  • What state do most ducks live in? South Duck-ota .
  • What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Animal quack -ers .
  • What language does a multilingual duck speak? Portu-geese .
Section 1 of 7:

Hilarious Duck Jokes

PDF download Download Article
  1. Laughter is a great way to improve your mood, relieve stress , and break tension. [1] So, try one of these hysterical duck jokes that are perfect for jokers of all ages:
    • Why do ducks have feathers? To cover up their butt quacks.
    • What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles .
    • What game did the duck play at the arcade? Quack-a-mole.
    • What do you call a duckling who opens his Christmas presents early? A Peking duck.
    • Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get its back quacked.
    • A duck walks into the pharmacy and buys chapstick. The cashier says, “Cash or charge?” The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”
    • What happens when a female duck gets the hiccups? She lays scrambled eggs.
    • Did the duck couple make plans for their night out? No, they decided to wing it.
    • What do you call a devout duck? A bird of pray.
    • What language does a multilingual duck speak? Portu-geese.
    • What is the ideal career for a duck? Web design.
    • Why did the duck end up in jail? He was selling quack.
    2. Advertisement
Section 2 of 7:

Short Duck Jokes & One-Liners

PDF download Download Article
  1. The element of surprise is one of the main reasons people find things funny. [2] Tell one of these short and sweet duck jokes to surprise a laugh out of everyone:
    • What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
    • What says "Quick, Quick"? A duck with the hiccups
    • Ducks never pay for anything. They just say to put it on their bill.
    • Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.
    • Why does a duck say quack? Because it can't say moo.
    • When is roast duck really bad for you? When you’re the duck.
    • What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nut-quacker.
    • How do you get down off a horse? You don't, you get down off a duck.
    • Why was the duck destined for a life of crime? He was a bad egg.
    • Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot.
    • What do physics ducks say? Quark .
    • What do you call a duck on drugs? A quackhead.
    • Which musician do ducks listen to the most? Drake.
Section 3 of 7:

Super-Silly Duck Jokes for Kids

PDF download Download Article
  1. Sharing jokes with kids is a great way to help them develop communication skills and a sense of humor. [3] Drop one of these silly duck jokes on one of your favorite ducklings to give them a giggle:
    • What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news? The feather forecast.
    • What do you call a bird that can heal anything? A duck-tor.
    • What state do most ducks live in? South Duck-ota.
    • What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks? Firequackers .
    • What robs you while you’re in the bathtub? A robber ducky.
    • Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
    • What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond.
    • Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
    • Why do ducks fly south? Because it’s too far to walk.
    • What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.
    • What did the cow and duck name their new rock band? Cheese and quackers.
    • What do you call movies that ducks like to watch? Duck-umentaries.
    • Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
    • What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers.
    2. Advertisement
Section 4 of 7:

Dirty Duck Jokes for Adults Only

PDF download Download Article
  1. Sometimes, a crude joke is just plain funny. Just make sure you’re choosing your audience wisely. Keep these jokes for adults only and avoid telling them at work. [4] Here are a few adult-only dirty duck jokes to tell your friends:
    • A hunter shoots a duck then turns to his friend and says, “I’m going to mount that duck.” The friend looks at him for a minute and says, “I won’t tell your wife, but I’m not going to watch.”
    • Three ducks walk into a bar. "What's your name?" the bartender asks the first duck. “Huey,” the duck says. “How's your day been, Huey?” asks the bartender. Huey replies, “Great! I've been in and out of puddles all day long. What more could a duck want?” The bartender turns to the second duck. “And what's your name?” “Dewey,” replies the second duck. “And how’s your day been, Dewey?” “I've been in and out of puddles all day long too!” he replies. The bartender turns to the third duck and says, “I suppose your name is Louie.” The third duck shakes its head. “No. I’m Puddles.”
    • A guy with a duck on his head walks into a bar. The bartender says “Can I help you?” The duck says “Yeah, you can get this guy off my a' .”
    • A duck checks into a hotel. A few minutes later, he calls down to the front desk and asks them to send up a condom. The desk agent says, “Would you like us to put that on your bill?” The duck says, “No! I’ll suffocate!”
Section 5 of 7:

Rib-Tickling Duck Puns

PDF download Download Article
  1. A pun is a type of joke that plays off different definitions of the same word…or one that sounds very similar. [5] While many people react to puns with a groan, these jokes were liberally used by Shakespeare to get a laugh from his audiences. [6] Here are a few clever—or silly—duck puns for you to try out on your friends:
    • What time do ducks get up? The quack of dawn.
    • Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
    • What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Animal quackers .
    • What did the duck detective say to his partner? Let’s quack this case.
    • Why don’t ducks need smartphones? They already have the web at their feet.
    • Why can't birds play baseball? They're always ducking or hitting fowl balls.
    • What do mallards eat at a baseball game? Quacker -jacks.
    • Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage? He smelled fowl .
    • Why don’t ducks go to the doctor? Because they think they're a bunch of quacks .
    • What game does a duck play at the bar? Bill -iards.
    • Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack .
    • What do ducks eat with their soup? Soda quackers .
    2. Advertisement
Section 6 of 7:

Buddy Hackett’s Famous Duck Joke

PDF download Download Article
  1. Buddy Hackett was an actor and comedian who was known for both crude standup routines and starring in family-friendly movies made by Disney. He even voiced Scuttle the seagull in Disney’s The Little Mermaid . [7] Here’s the duck joke he famously told on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson on August 27, 1987 :
    • This guy shoots a duck. It falls, hits a barn, and goes into a guy’s yard. This guy climbs over the fence, and he goes into the yard to get this duck.
      A farmer comes out and he’s a big guy. He says, “What are you doing in my yard?”
      The guy says, “I’ve come to get the duck. It’s my duck.”
      The farmer says, “This is not your duck. This is my yard. That duck fell and hit my barn.”
      The guy says, “That’s not your duck. I shot the duck. I've been out hunting for a couple of days. Give me a break. You know, I’m from the city.”
      The farmer says, “You’re from the city? Well, you don’t understand about property, do you? This is my property. It’s my duck. However, I’ll give you a chance at the duck. We can settle this country style.”
      The guy says, “Country style?”
      The farmer says, “Yeah.”
      The guy asks, “How do you settle it country style?”
      The farmer says, “How? I kick you in the groin. And then you kick me in the groin. And we take turns kicking each other in the groin. Whoever’s left keeps the duck.”
      The guy says, “Well, if that’s what I have to do.”
      The farmer says, “I go first.” He hauls off and…WHACK.
      The guy falls to the ground moaning in pain. When he recovers, he says to the farmer, “I guess it’s my turn.”
      The farmer says, “You can have the duck.”
Section 7 of 7:

How to Deliver Your Duck Joke Well

PDF download Download Article
  1. 1
    Pick the right duck joke for the situation and audience. Muñoz suggests using humor carefully in serious situations and always paying attention to your audience’s reaction. For example, a duck joke that normally kills at parties might go over like a lead balloon at a funeral.
    • Part of being funny is the ability to read the room by paying attention to the mood and listening to what people are talking about.
    • If you’re hearing a lot of laughter, listen to the types of things people are laughing at. Then, match your joke to the overall vibe.
    • If you’re in a crowd that includes kids and adults, stick to jokes that are funny, appropriate, and understandable for all ages to get the most laughs.
  2. 2
    Pause before delivering the punchline. Timing is everything when you’re delivering a joke . That’s especially true when you’re dropping the punchline. Good comedic timing involves using pauses and how quickly—or slowly—you speak to make a joke even funnier. [8] For example, the classic Henny Youngman joke, “Take my wife…please,” wouldn’t be as funny without the pause before “please.”
    • One of the most famous forms of comedic timing is the “pregnant pause.” This is pausing after the joke’s set up to build tension for the punchline.
    • Just remember, even the funniest joke can fall flat if the timing is off. Pause just long enough for people to start to think about the setup.
    • Don’t give them too much time to figure out the gag or the punchline might be disappointing.
  3. 3
    Don’t take it personally if your joke doesn’t get a laugh. Payne says that sometimes your joke will bomb, but that’s okay. Not getting laughs is just part of telling jokes. The best thing you can do when a joke bombs is to shrug it off and move on .
    • Payne advises to “just have fun, do your best, but know that you’ll probably fail the first few times.”
    • The good news is that you’ll get better at telling jokes the more you do it. Payne says you just have to be confident and believe in yourself when you’re telling a joke.
    4. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      50 Cute & Flirty Knock-Knock Jokes to Make Them Smile
      The Best Big Forehead Jokes to Roast Someone: 140+ Options
      The Best Bald Jokes to Crack Everyone Up: 130+ Options
      Roses are Red, Violets are Blue: 60+ Sweet, Silly & Savage Poems
      Funny Text Jokes: 45 Short & Hilarious Jokes to Send Your Friends
      105+ Rizz Jokes, Puns, & One-Liners to Impress Everyone
      The Best Dating Jokes: Puns, Knock Knock Jokes, and More
      50+ Eye Jokes That You Should Really Look Into
      100+ Dry & Sarcastic Jokes for Anyone with a Deadpan Sense of Humor
      Funny Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend
      110+ Funny Senior Quotes & How to Pick Yours
      60 Hilarious Airport Welcome Signs for Friends, Family & More
      How to
      Tell a Knock Knock Joke
      50 Funny, Clean Christian Jokes for Kids and Adults
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456
      2. ↑ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/humor/
      3. ↑ https://youtu.be/XNKShw_rdZU?t=37
      4. ↑ https://www.bbc.com/news/business-51753191
      5. ↑ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pun
      6. ↑ https://nosweatshakespeare.com/shakespeare-puns/https://nosweatshakespeare.com/shakespeare-puns/
      7. ↑ https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2003-jul-01-me-hackett1-story.html
      8. ↑ https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/comedic-timing-tips-75129/

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 307 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement