How to Fit in at a New School

Co-authored by Katie Styzek

Last Updated: August 10, 2024 Approved

Moving to a new school can be intimidating. In fact, it may feel as your whole world as you once knew it is crashing down. You may wish your friend was with you, or that the school was in your old neighborhood. However, it is possible to fit in at a new school. Follow these easy steps and you'll find yourself fitting in no time!

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You won't fit in at school if you don't know the school well yet. Ask where places are or ask for a school map.
Be nice to adults, teenagers and kids alike, because they might just be your next teacher or friend.

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Talk to them and find out more about them. See how strict or lenient they are, and test their limits. Just don't go too far, or you may end up getting in trouble (adding to your reputation, but you still get in trouble).
Try not to be shy, and be confident. Talk to different groups of people, but don't ignore a certain group. ^{[1]
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Expert Source

Katie Styzek
School Counselor

Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.} Be yourself and don't lie. This is your school now, so take a chance on letting your true personality shine through if you didn’t already at your old school.
Teachers always pay attention to new students.
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Be yourself. If your first day in the school is the first day of the new year, then some people will notice you, especially if it is a small school. When people talk to you, don't be nervous, but don't be too loud. Be confident and make eye contact. However, sometimes you may need to make yourself loud so that you will get noticed, and but try not to constantly attract attention to yourself.
- Don't worry too much about what people think of you; you'll over-analyze the situation and they might judge you for that.
- Be genuine and be nice to everyone, no matter how mean they may appear at first. It's usually always the 'girl/guy that you hated at your new school' that ends up being your friend after a little sincerity.
- Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, if it's very clear that you should.
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Avoid worrying about getting to know the school too much. Know where your locker is and have a map in case of emergencies, but whenever possible, ask the person sitting near you or a teacher in the hallway where something is.
- Asking for directions to a class, for example, is a good way to talk to people and meet a lot of people on your first day. You're the new kid now. Mention that to people whenever you need some help.
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Refrain from being flirty. When you talk to those of the opposite gender, don't flirt too much before finding out if they're already with someone. Once one person hates you, their entire group will hate you too. Remember these people grew up together, so it's their obligation to defend their lifelong friends.. Being flirty is more acceptable in a college environment since there are always new students to meet that are just like you.
- Be nice, and optimistic, even if there happens to be an annoyance. They might even let you be the annoyance to another new kid someday, it usually takes a year and a half, but they'll come around. Always remember to make a good first impression but it's also important to be yourself.
Talk to students in the class right before lunch. Usually, they will ask you if you're sitting with anyone, but if not, steer the topic towards school lunch (as in is the food good etc.) If no one specifically mentions eating together, but you're walking to the cafeteria together, then it's implied that you'll eat lunch together.
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Be nice to everyone. It is important to talk to everyone, even if they seem weird, when you are a new student. They could always know people you'd rather be friends with or introduce you to more people. Try to meet new people. However, if they are hated by everyone, then it is advised not to become best friends with them unless you really want to, don't get too into people, hang out with everyone, and make sure you know a group or person well enough before deeming them your friend.
- It can be the most tricky, manipulative people that talk to you at first, and it's usually those who just talk to you later on, at the back of the classroom who are there for you later on.
If someone passes a note or whispers something to you, ignore them so you can pay attention to the teacher.
^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Katie Styzek
School Counselor

Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.} Make sure you are committed to that sport or club.
After you've talked to someone a few times, ask for their contact information. Even better, ask them to do something over the weekend.
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Please the other kids. While you don't want to be a complete kiss-up, kids like the people who will cooperate with them. If they ask you a favor, do it. Don't be too gullible, - people will sometimes even push your buttons to test what your 'limits' are, - like testing the waters. Just make sure you confidently (maybe even with a big smile on your face)... reply 'reasonably'. Like if they call you a "jerk" , - ask them why they called you a jerk.
- If they accuse you of something you didn't do, reply by saying you've never done whatever it is they are accusing you of, and then ask them who had said that.
Never forget that while you might be trying to fit in, you should never try to be anybody but yourself. The first couple of weeks are always confusing.

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What if you are naturally shy, or just a little quiet, and people dont talk to you much?

Emily Berger1

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If you don't feel comfortable talking to people at first, smiling is a great way to show that you're friendly and open to people talking to you. Smile at people who make eye contact with you in the halls or who sit next to you in class. Even just smiling and saying "Hi, I'm Jordan" is a good ice breaker.

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Question

are you sure to talk to everyone maybe some of them be bulliers

Emily Berger1

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You don't have to talk to everyone--if someone smiles at you in class or introduces themselves, these are likely nice people who you can talk to. If you smile at someone and they smile back, it's unlikely that they're going to bully you.

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How can you fit in to a group of people?

Emily Berger1

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Choose a group of people that you have things in common with, like you all love playing soccer or like to read. This gives you things to talk about with them. Ask the group of people questions about themselves too, like what their favorite TV shows are or what they like to do on the weekends.

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If you move during the school year, you will get more attention for longer periods of time. But, be aware that everyone will be talking about you (not necessarily in a bad way) because you're the only thing interesting going on.

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People will ask you many questions. Answer them, but don't ramble. In turn, ask questions about the school and the students. If someone is talking about someone you don't know, ask questions to clarify basic points, but listen to what they say, also it might be harder to make friends because everyone may already be paired up.

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If you are new, before you make friends, try to get on your homeroom teacher's "good side".

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Avoid getting labeled a "troublemaker" by following key rules. Teachers watch new students closely. Minor mistakes that happen early can create poor lasting impressions.
Consider joining clubs or teams to expand your social circle. Shared activities facilitate friendship organically through regular interactions around common interests.
Focus more on quality friendships than quantity. Stay true to yourself and in time you'll connect well with a few kindred spirits. That counts far more than groups.
On day one, take deep breaths if nervous and act as though classmates are already friends. Anxiety is normal but most people are welcoming to new students.
If friends exclude you, don't take it personally or overreact. Trust and acceptance can take time. Politely engage when included; otherwise, be patient.
Believe in yourself at a new school. It's a fresh chance to be who you want, make real bonds over shared interests, and maybe find an academic ally.

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Warnings

If you had a bad reputation at your old school, don't talk about your rep. Just pretend it never happened and make sure not to make the same mistakes at your new school.

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Don't be negative. People don't like a Debbie-Downer. A way to avoid this is to think positively about every situation.

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Try to avoid drama if you can.

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Don't be obnoxious. It's good to jump in and let people know you're there, but allow them to get a word in too.

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Katie Styzek
School Counselor

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