How to Get Any Guy You Want

Co-authored by Judith Gottesman, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: July 17, 2024 References

When you’re trying to attract a guy, it can sometimes feel like a puzzle that’s impossible to solve. However, it doesn’t have to be hard! Getting any guy you want is easy when you know how to do it. Keep reading to learn how you can broaden your horizons and master the dating world.

1

Maintain your confidence.

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Be strong and independent without being stuck-up. Guys love someone who can live their own life without them, but they also appreciate it if you aren’t a snob. As you talk to guys in your life, hold your head high and get the message across that you can handle anything. ^{[1]
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- For example, let’s say your car breaks down. A confident person might handle it all on their own and then relay the story to a guy the next day. You’re showing that you can take care of yourself without bragging about it.

2

Show off your intelligence.

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Engage in serious, analytical conversations. Show the guys around you that you can hold your own in any conversation topic they throw at you. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist, but don’t be afraid to talk about things you know a lot about.
- You might have heard that guys don’t like it when people are too smart. While this might be the case for some guys, you shouldn’t dumb yourself down for the sake of attracting someone.
- Ask him questions about himself and talk less about yourself. Make it a real conversation about something you guys have in common. ^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Judith Gottesman, MSW
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}

3

Make eye contact and smile.

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Invite the guy over without saying anything at all. If you spot a cute guy from across the room, glance in his direction, then give him a quick smile. For most guys, this is the signal that you want to be approached by them. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- Similarly, try to keep your phone in your pocket or your purse. If you have your head down and you’re staring at a screen, you won’t look very approachable.

4

Ask for help.

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Guys like to feel like you need them, at least a little bit. If you’re having trouble starting a conversation with a dude, go over and ask for a small favor. It can be something as simple as, “Could you pass me a straw?” ^{[4]
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- You could also open up about a challenging situation at work or a tough assignment you’re working on at school. Most guys love to offer advice.
- While it’s okay to ask for help on the small stuff, save the bigger stuff for someone you’re actually in a relationship with.

5

Give him a few compliments.

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Guys rarely get complimented when they’re out and about. If you want to make a guy think about you for a long time, simply tell him you like his shirt or that his hair looks nice. Chances are, he’s going to remember what you said (and who you are). ^{[5]
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- It can be something as small as, “Wow, I really like that shirt. Looks good on you.”
- Stick to 1 to 2 compliments per conversation. That way, you won’t overwhelm him or make him think you’re too into him.

6

Talk about what you do for fun.

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Men find it sexy when you have a life of your own. What do you like to do when you aren’t working or at school? Tell him tales of how you go rock climbing on the weekends or how you’re working on writing the next best-selling novel. Chances are, he’ll be interested enough to ask you more about it. ^{[6]
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- If you do something on the weekends that’s a group activity (hiking, fishing, skiing, etc.) feel free to invite him along.

7

Act indifferent toward him.

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Even if you really like him, don’t let him know. Instead of fawning all over him, act like you just think he’s okay. If he texts you, wait a few hours before you respond. If he flirts with you, act like you don’t notice. Many guys like the “chase,” even if they won’t admit it.
- This can be a tricky thing to balance out—you want to show a little interest so he doesn’t give up, but you don’t want to go too far and scare him off. ^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Judith Gottesman, MSW
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} For instance, if he wants to take you out on a Saturday, you could tell him that you’re busy that night but free on Sunday.

8

Put effort into your appearance.

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When you look good, you feel good, too. Dress in clean, well-fitting clothes that flatter your body. Do your hair, and put on a little makeup if you’d like to. There’s no standard for what will attract guys, so as long as you feel good, you’re going to look great! ^{[8]
X
Research source} ^{[9]
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Expert Source

Judith Gottesman, MSW
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}
- Guys usually don’t care too much about fashion or designer labels. Feel free to wear something expensive if you have it, but don’t worry too much about the latest trends.

9

Go out with a small group.

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Head out by yourself or with 1 other person. Oftentimes, guys find it intimidating when someone is in a large group of people. You’re more likely to be approached by a guy if you aren’t surrounded by others. ^{[10]
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- Some guys have the confidence to approach you when you’re out with a large group, but they’re few and far between.

10

Hang out where guys are.

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Proximity is key here. If you’re trying to get a guy, you probably want to head to a bar or a club on a Saturday night. There will probably be lots of dudes to choose from, and you’re more likely to stumble across someone you like. ^{[11]
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- Clubs and bars are usually your best bet since people are more likely to approach you for a conversation there.
- If bars or clubs aren’t really your scene, try going to a coffee shop or a bookstore instead.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Try using activities you love to meet guys. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and share new experiences with guys in a way that's meaningful to you. Investing energy into these new experiences can really pay off!

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How do you get a guy to fall for you if they have a girlfriend?

Hannah Madden

Community Answer

Trying to attract someone who already has a girlfriend probably isn't a great idea. You never know what's going on in their relationship, and you don't want to be the cause of a breakup. Try setting your sights on someone who's single for a lot less drama.

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Matchmaker & Dating Coach

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How to Get Any Guy You Want

Steps

Maintain your confidence.

Show off your intelligence.

Make eye contact and smile.

Ask for help.

Give him a few compliments.

Talk about what you do for fun.

Act indifferent toward him.

Put effort into your appearance.

Go out with a small group.

Hang out where guys are.

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