The Ultimate Guide to Get Any Girl to Like You

PDF download Download Article
Land a girlfriend with these simple steps
PDF download Download Article

Getting a girl to like you might seem hard, but all you need to do is put your best self forward and spark her interest! In this article, we’ll give you a step-by-step guide to attracting a girl. We’ll also show you how you can ask her out on a date, and give you expert tips so you can woo her and even, with time and care, make the relationship exclusive.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, Cher Gopman, founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Complimenting her, teasing her, and showing her that you’re listening to her can be great ways to befriend and attract the girl you like.
  • Casually ask for her contact info by suggesting that the two of you go to a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or doing an activity you both would love.
  • Set up a time to hang out while taking her suggestions and plans into account. Relax, have fun, and get to know her while you're out together.
Method 1
Method 1 of 2:

Getting a Girl to Like You

PDF download Download Article
  1. One of the best ways to attract girls is to develop your own hobbies and interests. Spend time with new people, travel, try a new activity, or develop one of your passions. Live life and find happiness all around you—she'll appreciate your confidence and commitment to bettering yourself. [1]
    • If you focus on yourself, it may cause girls to notice you more, and attract the right ones to you.
  2. Smelling great can make you more attractive to the women around you. [2] Here are some ways to fight off body odor and smell incredible: [3]
    • Take a bath or shower daily and clean your skin and hair.
    • Regularly wash your clothing, and wear clean, loose-fitting clothes made of cotton or moisture-wicking fabric every day.
    • Eat a healthy, nutritious diet full of fresh fruits and vegetables to make you smell more attractive and feel better. [4]
    Advertisement
  3. Try not to think so much about dating in the initial stages—instead, focus on getting to know her better to find common interests and see if you like hanging out with her. Asking a question can be a great conversation starter that invites her to continue talking. Here are some examples you can use to get the ball rolling: [5]
    • “Have you seen the new WonderMan movie? I did too, what did you think about it?
    • “Have you heard of this band before?”
    • “I saw you got a new puppy on social media. He’s so cute! What’s his name?”
    • “Have you tried the food here? Is it good?”
    • In general, it can be better to be positive than to say something negative. For example, if you two are at a party or dance, instead of talking about how boring the event is, try commenting on how beautiful the lights are or how great the view is.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Simple observations can be great conversation starters. Notice their outfit, mention an interesting detail of the space, or ask an interesting question. Comments like these show genuine interest and can encourage an easy interaction.

  4. When she talks about things that she loves, smile and ask follow-up questions to show that you’d like to hear more. Keep digging deeper—she’ll know that you’re interested and want to talk more about herself. Here are some getting-to-know-you questions you could ask in your conversations: [6]
    • “Where would you go on your dream vacation?”
    • “What’s your favorite class in school? Why?”
    • “What’s your favorite book and why?”
    • “What was your dream job when you were younger?”
    • “If you could travel back in time, where and when would you go?”
    • “If you had to choose one song to describe your life, what would it be?”
    • If you’re not actually interested in what she’s speaking about, that may be a sign that you two aren’t compatible.
  5. Listening can be the most important thing you can do to be courteous and considerate to a girl. [7] Actively listening can make her feel seen and heard—restate what she says and encourage her to keep talking with your body language. Here are more ways to make her feel validated and show her you’re taking her words seriously: [8]
    • Make eye contact and smile.
    • Use mild conversation fillers and sounds like “Mhmm,” “Really?” and “Right” to help encourage her to keep talking.
    • Try not to fidget with your hands or play with your clothes. These little distractions can make her think that you're not interested in the conversation.
    • Repeat what she said back to her to send the message that you understand her. For example, you could say, “So, what happened after Sarah called you back?”
    • Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing. Asking questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no” can prove that you’re not only listening but that you’d like to hear more about whatever she’s currently talking about.
  6. Tell her that you like her necklace or her new haircut, or that you dig her cool sense of humor. But whatever you say, make sure you really mean it; no one wants to receive a false compliment. [9] Be specific, speak from the heart, and tell her what exactly what it is that makes her special to you.
    • While physical compliments can certainly work, many women prefer nonphysical compliments, such as about aspects of her personality you appreciate. [10]
  7. Being playful with the girl you like can be a great way to make her laugh, keep things entertaining, and show that you’re confident in yourself. Just make sure you smile slightly so that she knows you’re joking. Here are a few great ways that you can use to tease that special someone: [11]
    • Playfully mock her by mimicking the way she says a certain word or repeating words back to her while smiling lightly.
    • Give her a funny nickname.
    • If you feel confident and far enough in your relationship, try accusing her of flirting with you. This can also be a great way to see how she reacts to the idea of dating.
  8. Body language can be a powerful tool to show the girl you like how you feel. One of the best ways is to make an excuse to subtly touch her, even when it’s not necessary. You could emphasize something by touching her arm or her hand, tap or touch her shoulder to point something out, or high-five when you do something well together as a team. [12]
    • Pay attention to her body language to make sure that she’s okay with the two of you touching. If she constantly pulls away or avoids making physical contact, you may want to back off a little until she feels more confident and comfortable.
  9. Although it can be scary to put yourself out there and open up to someone else, relationships need vulnerability to grow and thrive. Start small and share something you don’t tell a lot of people. Then, as your relationship deepens, share your thoughts, beliefs, values, and feelings with her. [13]
    • If you're both comfortable being alone, and just enjoy being with each other, you might set yourself up for a more successful and healthy bond.
  10. If you already like her as a person, deepening your friendship should feel rewarding too. It might also be easier to be friends with her, just in case things don't work out. Try to be comfortable remaining friends if she doesn't want to date. [14]
    • If you have mutual friends with her already, make sure that you don't allow their opinions to inform your ideas about the relationship. There's no way that they can understand exactly what you're going through. Even if their opinions are valid, you and her will know best if things are starting to work.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 694 wikiHow readers who've asked someone on a date, and 53% of them agreed that the best way to approach it is by taking it slow and getting to know them first. [Take Poll]
    Mark Manson, Dating Coach

    A man comfortable with himself, living an enriching lifestyle, automatically attracts people, provides value, influences the world by being himself, without manipulating others. People gravitate to him. He gets what he wants as he doesn't want anything; he simply lives his purpose. This is attractive.

    11. Advertisement
Method 2
Method 2 of 2:

Asking Her Out and Going on a Date

PDF download Download Article
  1. At some point during your conversation, you might have spoken about a shared interest that you can weave into asking for her contact information. Here are a couple of ways you can smoothly ask for her social media information or phone number: [15]
    • Tell her you’ll share a song that you’ve spoken about with her on Instagram.
    • Suggest that you go together to a restaurant that you enjoy, and use that open-ended plan to get her phone number.
    • Say you want to send a great TikTok you’ve told her about and continue the conversation.
    • Use your shared interests to ask her out. Suggest that you go to a particular sports team’s game or watch one of your favorite television shows together.
    • You can also be totally transparent and just ask for her number, saying that you’d love to meet up for coffee or dinner. She might really appreciate your directness.
  2. When you ask her out, stand tall, make eye contact with her, speak clearly , and avoid filling the silence with nervous jokes or chatter. Practice asking her out in the mirror ahead of time so you know exactly what to say when the time comes. [16]
    • Take deep breaths before starting the conversation. You’ve got this!
    • There's a difference between being confident and assuming that she's going to say yes. Try not to put on any extra swagger—the honesty of your directness can be enough to bolster your chances.
    • There are many reasons why a girl may not accept your offer to go on a date with her. Don’t take it too personally if she's not interested—you might not have done anything wrong. Maybe she’s just not interested in dating right now, or maybe she’s already seeing another person.
  3. If she’s given you her contact information, try not to let it settle for too long—reach out to her later that day or later that morning to figure out a plan. If you’re feeling nervous, warm up the conversation by texting them something funny that happened, a meme you saw, or just start with a simple “Hey!” and ask her when she’s available. [17]
    • “Hey! I was wondering if you were free this Saturday night? I’d like to hang out just the two of us and check out the new art installation downtown.”
    • “I’d love to hang out together! I was wondering if you’d like to go mini-golfing with me on Friday at around 8:00 pm?”
    • “Hey Shania! Are you free tomorrow at 7:00 pm? There’s this new Italian restaurant down the street I’ve been meaning to try, would you be interested in joining me?”
    • Because you've already made a move toward a real, in-person date, try not to waste too much time and energy being clever over text. Instead, be simple and direct—that way, you can get some quality face-to-face time.
    • Try not to think too hard about the science of texting or instant messaging. Just because she hasn’t responded in two hours doesn’t mean she’s uninterested—she might be a bit nervous about the date too, and maybe she also doesn't know exactly what to say.
  4. If you have strict preconceptions about how your date will go, then you may end up being disappointed. If she doesn’t have time for dinner and a movie, just having dinner could be just as fun. Accommodate her suggestions into your plans—this could show that you’re more interested in spending time with her than having the perfect date. [18]
    • If the girl isn’t positive about her weekend plans, and she tells you that she needs to figure out her schedule, give her time to do so.
    • By giving you her contact information, she’s already agreed to have further contact—don't be frustrated by the little troubles of planning the date itself. She’s interested in seeing you, so when you both work out the details, you’ll both be happy to spend quality time together .
  5. Incorporating the things she enjoys and the activities that light her up inside into a date is one of the best ways to impress a girl you are interested in. In doing so, you show you care about what she has to say and plan a date you know will make her happy. [19] For example:
    • If she loves food, visit a food hall or go to an area with a few different restaurants and hop around—go to one for an appetizer, one for the main course, and another for dessert.
    • Does she love to volunteer? Pick a cause she’s passionate about and set up a time to make a difference in your community.
    • If she loves to laugh, try going to a local comedy show or an open mic night.
    • Did she tell you she loves looking up at the night sky? Pack a picnic and go stargazing.
  6. Take a deep breath and stand up tall before you go in so you can look confident and engaged. When you sit down at the restaurant or wherever you’re going on your date, turn your shoulders so your whole body is facing her. Make sure to make eye contact throughout the date to flirt with her and show you’re fully present in the moment. [20]
    • You can also go in for a light touch on the leg or the arm, which can be a great way to be flirty. Watch her body language to make sure she’s okay with it—you can always ask for consent first, just in case. [21]
    • If you’re feeling nervous during your date, try talking about something you’re passionate about and stay present. That enthusiasm can shine through and help you feel more confident. [22]
  7. Listen to and focus on what she’s saying, and ride the flow of the conversation. Asking open-ended questions can be a great way to open up the conversation and keep it going. [23] Here are some non-yes-or-no questions you can ask to keep things interesting on your date:
    • “What’s the best present you ever gave someone?”
    • “What were you like as a kid?”
    • “What did you do last weekend?”
    • “What do you think of social media?”
    • “What’s on your bucket list?”
    • “If aliens exist, what do you think they’d look like?”
    • “If you could become an expert in any subject, what would you choose?”
  8. If you can feel the sparks flying between you, and you feel comfortable doing so, you might want to try kissing her for the first time . Choose a private time at the end of the date, like after you walked her home or when the two of you are saying goodbye. Asking her if she’d like to kiss you can be a great way to show her you respect her and care about her feelings. [24] Here are some great ways you can ask to kiss her:
    • “Can I kiss you?”
    • “I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?”
    • “Would you mind if I kissed you right now?”
  9. Try to talk to her between dates to keep the good vibes going. Send her funny videos or interesting articles you’ve seen, call her or video chat with her at night or during weekends, and arrange a time to hang out that isn’t necessarily formal. [25] Here are some things you could do together to keep the spark alive:
    • Check in with her every day and support her in both good and bad times. Ask her how she’s doing, if there’s anything she’s worried about, and what she has planned for the week.
  10. If your relationship is going well, you might want to ask her if she’d like to take the relationship to the next level. On a date, tell her how much she means to you and ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend. You can also ask her what you are to each other, or ask her where she wants the relationship to go in the future. [26] Remember that you deserve someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
    • “I like you a lot, would you be my girlfriend?”
    • “I think it’s time we take our relationship to the next level—will you be my girlfriend?”
    • “We’ve got really good chemistry, and I think we’d be perfect for each other. Would you like to make our relationship exclusive?”
    • “You make me feel incredible and I can’t imagine life without you. Can I be your partner?”
    • “I really want to be your partner. What do you think?”
    • If you’re going to a family event with her, it can be better to make sure you’re exclusive first so that you two can establish that you won’t see other people in the future. [27]
    11. Advertisement

Join the Discussion...

How do I rizz up a girl I just met?
WikiMountainCat42
69
WikiMountainCat42
I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her t... Read More
9
John Keegan
Dating Coach
Great question. The first thing to do is to always go back to step one, which is your own mindset and way of being. For you to approach her in th... Read More
WikiMongooseChaser121
5
WikiMongooseChaser121
Fully agree on the eye contact thing. Makes it so much easier to break the ice and then you’re already halfway to starting a conversation. If s... Read More
See all 123 Replies and
Read Discussion

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    What should I do if the girl I'm going on a date with is a lot more confident than me?
    Louie Felix
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour.
    Louie Felix
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Sometimes dates actually go better when you have somebody who's more outgoing than the other person. So instead of worrying about it, I think you should embrace it. It puts you in a position where there's not as much awkward silence or dull moments because the other person typically will keep things engaging and interesting.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 37 Helpful 35
  • Question
    How do I compliment a girl without it coming across as cheesy?
    Louie Felix
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour.
    Louie Felix
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Honesty is always the best policy. If you think somebody has beautiful eyes, it's okay to say it. It becomes disingenuous when you say it to try to impress someone. Make sure that everything that you're talking about is what you really think, what you really feel, what you really believe in. Keep it genuine, and don't worry about trying to impress the other person.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 35 Helpful 38
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Reader Videos

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Select and Meet an Escort
      How to
      Get a Girlfriend
      How to
      Turn a Girl on With Words
      How to
      Ask a Girl Out
      How to
      Get a Boyfriend
      How to
      Look Attractive (Guys)
      How to
      Get a Girl's Phone Number
      How to
      Attract Girls
      How to
      Know if a Shy Guy Likes You
      How to
      Make a Date With an Escort
      How to
      Give a Guy an Answer when He Asks You Out
      How to
      Get a Guy to Like You
      How to
      Pick Up a Woman
      How to
      Know If You Should Ask Her Out
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/ways-to-become-more-independent-less-codependent
      2. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      3. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/17865-body-odor
      4. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513816301933
      5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-guide/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202305/the-art-and-science-of-great-conversations
      7. ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      8. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening
      9. ↑ Louie Felix. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020
      1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/02/a-simple-compliment-can-make-a-big-difference
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/wellbeing/benefits-of-play-for-adults
      3. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
      4. ↑ https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help/how-be-vulnerable-your-partner
      5. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-love-stages-and-languages
      6. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-ask-someone-out/
      7. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/self-confidence/
      8. ↑ https://hbr.org/2023/03/tips-for-working-with-your-romantic-partner
      9. ↑ https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-power-of-date-nights
      10. ↑ Kate Dreyfus. Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer. Expert Interview. 10 September 2021.
      11. ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      12. ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      13. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
      14. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2020/10/15/923962314/good-conversations-take-time-and-attention-heres-how-to-have-better-ones
      15. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/are-you-too-old-for-a-first-kiss-opinion/
      16. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/healthy-relationships
      17. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      18. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To get a girl, start by establishing a friendship with her by engaging in small talk. When speaking with her, talk with confidence and ask questions when she brings up her interests. If you’re thinking about transitioning from friends to girlfriend, spend time hanging out together and engage in more sensitive discussions, like about her feelings or insecurities. At the same time, try to talk about a future plan, such as visiting a bar or restaurant you both like. You can then ask her on a date by sending her a text message a little later the same day. To learn more, such as how to listen intently and give compliments, keep reading the article!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 307,101 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement