How to Get a Girlfriend While You're a Kid

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: April 28, 2024

If you're reading this, chances are you're at the stage in life where you're starting to see girls in new, and exciting but sometimes frustrating ways. After all, now that you have these feelings, what should you do with them? It might be a girl has already caught your eye. If that's true, then how should you go about showing your feelings for her? Girls tend to grow up faster than boys, so making sure you're acting mature for your age is an important first step. With patience, respect and a bit of good luck, you'll make a girl into your girlfriend before long.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Getting a Girlfriend

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As a kid, it's important that you're trying to get a girlfriend for the right reasons. Trying to get a girlfriend just to look cool in front of you friends isn't fair to yourself, and it's certainly not fair to her. If there's a girl you have your eye on, make sure you want to be with her because you like her for who she really is. In the end, nothing else should matter as much.
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Be mature for your age. ^{[1]
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Research source} As a general rule, girls mature faster than boys, and things tend to stay that way until the end of being a teenager. With that in mind, throwing spitballs and acting like a clown isn't going to impress girls very much. You're going to have to act like a grown-up to prove to any girl that you're worth taking seriously as a boyfriend.
- You can still goof off with your friends, but try to make a point of acting grown-up in most other areas in life. This includes getting good grades and being punctual for school.
- If you're having trouble figuring out how to act like an adult, pick a couple of male role models in your life and try to take after them. They could be a father, uncle, teacher, anyone, so long as they're responsible and show a lot of maturity.
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Introduce yourself. ^{[2]
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Research source} If you haven't directly met the girl yet, you shouldn't waste too much time to introduce yourself. Once you think you've got the maturity down pat, make your existence known to her. While you might be wondering how you should go about it, usually the simplest approach is the best one. Here's a few examples:
- Go up and say "Hi!" casually. this is the simplest thing you can do, and it's usually the best. Most girls are bound to feel pretty flattered by the fact you're giving them the attention.
- Ask an ice-breaking question. Asking a casual question is a good way to start conversation with someone. Even something like asking for a pencil in the middle of class, and asking the time can be a good way to break the ice.
- Following up your introduction with a quick compliment is good, because it immediately shows you're interested in her. ^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Connell Barrett
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} It might sound like a brave thing to do, but no one's ever going to reject a compliment in their right mind!
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Research source} Once you're on speaking terms with the girl, you should find opportunities to get to know her better. This can be very easy if you go to the same school as her. If you're in the same classes, make a point of sitting next to her-- that way, you two can collaborate on class projects. Sitting down together at lunch is good too, as it's a casual way to get to know each other.
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Ask her about herself. While you're getting to know her, make sure to ask lots of questions about things, whether it's her opinions, her goals or a bit about her life. All of these things will help you understand who she is. In turn, telling her about yourself will give her a better idea of what a unique and amazing person you are.
- Be patient with this process. You shouldn't be going into this purely to get a girlfriend. Instead, you should be focusing in on getting to know her. Enjoy spending time with her! She'll be able to sense if you're just talking to her because you want a girlfriend.
- In this time, you may well find that you're not as interested in her anymore as you thought you were. If this happens, don't try to force it to go any further; some girls you meet are going to be best kept as just friends.
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Hang out with her friends too. Girls place a lot of importance on what their friends think. If you want her to be your girlfriend, it goes a long way to have her friends like you. If you're not part of the same social circles, find an opportunity to spend time with them. That could mean asking to go with them to the mall, or even just sitting with their group at lunch if you go to the same school.
- While you want to get to know her friends, make sure not to pay more attention to them than her. This is especially important if her friends are girls. If you give them too much attention, she might get the wrong impression you've got a crush on one of them!
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Ask her out when the time is right. ^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} This is a pretty crucial moment. Most of the time, if asking out a girl goes wrong, it's because it was rushed, or happened too soon. By the time you tell the girl how you feel, it should already be obvious to the two of you that you like each other. With that in mind, you shouldn't try asking unless you already have a pretty good idea she'll say yes.
- Keep in mind that someone saying they like you would put you on the spot, too. Even if she does like you, she might get scared or feel awkward with that. Don't be too alarmed if she says something like that; keep hanging out with her and being her friend. If she sees that sincerity in you, she'll probably become a lot more comfortable and say yes in time.
- Of course, there are other situations where it will be plainly obvious she isn't interested. This isn't always to do with you; there are lots of reasons a girl might not want to date someone. If that happens, you should shrug it off, think about your best qualities, and keep your eyes peeled for a new girl to connect with.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Having a Successful Relationship

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The most important thing in a new relationship is to prove that the way you were acting before wasn't just an act. You have to be just as mature and respectful. While some of the stress should be gone now that you both know you have feelings for each other, it's not time to start slacking off. Be courteous and patient with her. Never try to get her to do something she isn't comfortable with; it's much better to take it slow and easy. If you show the same maturity throughout, her feelings for you will grow.
Now that she's your girlfriend, it will probably come time to have deeper, more intimate conversations. You should be even more interested in what she has to say, now that she's become a significant part of your life. If she's earned your trust, you shouldn't be afraid to tell her secrets. A crucial part of a good relationship is the mutual emotional support, and that can't happen if you're just trying to look cool in front of her.
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Treat her family with respect. When it comes time to meet her family, make sure you are giving them the same respect you would give her. A girlfriend's family is bound to be very judgmental of a new boyfriend at first, so it's important you prove them wrong. Look them in the eye, smile lots, and let them know they don't have to worry that she'll be spending a lot of time with you.
- Don't be afraid to introduce her to your family as well! Even if it's coming over for dinner, showing her a different side of your life is important.

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Tips

As a kid, you shouldn't sweat it if you don't have a girlfriend. Most people your age have never been in relationships, and a lot won't even be interested in pursuing them until later in life. ^{[6]
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Research source}

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Helpful 18 Not Helpful 3
Dressing well, eating healthily, and taking care of your body never hurt anyone find a girlfriend!

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Don't look desperate, stay low on creepiness and have fun! These are the basics for a strong relationship.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Act cool, stay calm, and don't care too much about things. Act more like a grown up or a teenager. If she isn't interested in you, don't force her to be. Remember, she could be your friend instead.
To get a girlfriend, show that you can take care of yourself. Maintain style, hygiene, and keep up good grades in school. Girls like boys that are serious about their life goals.
If your school has a dance coming up, that's a great time to invite a girl out or express your feelings.

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Warnings

No matter how good looking or charming you are, rejection will be a natural part of life. If your crush isn't interested, you should brush it off. After all, there are many reasons a girl might not be interested in dating a boy.

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Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

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How to Get a Girlfriend While You're a Kid

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Having a Successful Relationship

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