How to Grind

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Feel like getting freaky on the dance floor? Want to send a sexy message or just have some suggestive fun? Grinding is a form of dance that requires you to move your hips in a circular motion that matches your partner's, and to let loose and have some fun. Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club . Read on to find out how to do it.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Approaching Your Partner

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  1. While you're waiting for some hip-hop or house music to come on, scout the dance floor for some partners that you might want to grind with. You don't want to get to the dance floor in the middle of a slow song and miss your chance to grind. You can either way to go up to someone, or just go to the dance floor with your friends, and get ready to mingle.
  2. If you're brave, you can go up to a potential partner and ask, "Hey you want to dance?" But if you want to be more slick about it, just rock out on the dance floor until someone special catches your eye. Then, you can nod and smile at the person as you come dance closer and closer to each other until you're brushing up against each other. Just don't come up to a complete stranger without making eye contact , or you'll be brushed off. [1]
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  3. Usually, the guy gets behind the girl to start grinding. However, you can always grind face-to-face. Then, the girl should slowly turn away from the guy until she's dancing with her back to him. The guy should be behind the girl, at a respectable distance, but close enough to put his hands on her hips or sides when the time is right. [2]
    • Standing about a foot away from the guy at first is about the right distance. You can move closer together as you get more comfortable.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Grinding

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  1. While normally the guy is behind the girl , feel free to switch things up. The girl's hips should move in a circular motion, and the guy's hips should match that motion. Before the guy puts his hands all over the girl, the dancing pair, or trio, should find a comfortable rhythm. [3]
    • If you're in front, move your booty around in a pattern at around the crotch level of your partner. You're in control.
    • If you're behind someone else, follow her movements. Your pelvises can be directly aligned or slightly off so that of your legs is between your partner's legs.
  2. Once you found a comfortable flow, the guy should put his hands on the girl's hips. He doesn't have to grip them too firmly -- just enough to gain his footing and to settle deeper into the grind. The girl can bend her knees, so the couple can move lower to the ground. [4]
    • As the girl gets low, her hands can travel down her thighs and even to her knees.
    • The girl can keep her arms loose. She can move them up and down to the beat of the music while grazing her own thighs or knees.
  3. Guys should expect a booty shake, and girls should expect to shake their booties . Gradually, a girl will get lower to the ground, putting her hands on her knees, or holding the guy's hands near her waist. As she leans forward, her backside will raise in the air, brushing up or hovering near her dance partner.
    • The guy's hands can travel up from the girl's hips to below her waist, at the top of her backside. This will work as long as the guy is respectful and the girl is comfortable with this movement.
    • If you're up for it, the girl can get even lower to the ground until her hands are nearly touching or touching the floor and her booty is raised high.
  4. Sometimes a group of people start grinding together in a chain. Usually, you'll see either a mix of men and women alternating or just women. Sometimes two women will "sandwich" a man, and others will latch on. Don't hesitate to go with whatever makes you feel good.
    • Grinding in a group can be even more fun than grinding with just one partner, but it will require more coordination. If one person in the group bends down, everyone else will have to adjust accordingly.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Improving your Technique

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  1. Dancing the same exact way can get old after a while, so once you and your partner have been grinding the traditional way for a while, go for the side-to-side move. This way, the girl moves to the left while the guy moves to the right, so they're always on opposite sides. Though you'll still be turned away from your partner, you can look up or down at him or her during this move. [5]
  2. Don't be afraid to turn toward your partner and grind while facing him or her. The girl can put her arms around the guy's neck while he keeps his hands on her hips and both people continue to move their hips in a circular rhythm. You don't have to stay facing your partner, either. You can mix it up by turning around and then turning back toward your partner whenever you want a change.
  3. 3
    Master the slow grind. You don't have to rush off the dance floor if a slow song comes on. If you're comfortable with your partner and having a good time, there's no need to stop the fun. Just keep doing what you're doing -- only slower and sexier. Don't skip a beat. Just transition right into the slower dance move. If you hesitate, your partner may think you don't know what to do.
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  • Question
    What if he starts to kiss my neck, do I go along with it even if I don't like him?
    Community Answer
    Consent is the key. If you are uncomfortable, calmly refuse or say "don't." If he insists after that, walk away.
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  • Question
    What happens if I get too comfortable but I already have a partner but I like them as well but you want to have sex with my boyfriend?
    Community Answer
    Don't cheat. Your life will get worse. Or, you can break up with your boyfriend but really, all this over a cheap grind?
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    How do I find balance?
    Community Answer
    You can try to put your legs out (like is a squat position) and lean forward a little. This helps balance out your body parts with out you having to focus on not falling over during the moment.
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      Tips

      • If you put your drink down while grinding, be safe and do not drink it afterwards. A drink left unattended may have been tampered with and had something added.
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      • If somebody sneaks up behind you and begins to grind without your consent, casually shuffle sideways, turning so that they are no longer dancing behind you, and if necessary, shake your head "no". You don't have to grind with somebody just because you entered the dance floor. Your space is your space.
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      • Put your drink down while you're grinding. You don't want to spill it all over your partner if the grinding gets intense.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • You can always try to place your partner's hands where you feel comfortable. If they don't feel comfortable with placing their hands there, they can move them. Sometimes it's hard to communicate while dancing, so talking with your hands can be a good thing. Just be cognizant of what your partner might think and respect their boundaries.
      • Don't worry about what anyone else is doing or thinking. Concentrate on her. Try not to look down at the grinding, but rather look at her face when she's turning it to make eye contact.
      • If somebody is doing something you don't like or want, you don't have to play coy. Please feel free to directly tell them what it is you don't like and ask them to stop. Be vocal.
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      Warnings

      • Guys may experience an erection while grinding. If this happens, don't be embarrassed. After all, an erection is your body's natural response to this kind of friction. You can do a couple of things to hide your erection:
        • Bend your knees so that the bottom of your stomach gets the most friction or turn just a bit so that the side of your body gets the friction.
        • If repositioning does not work, you may want to excuse yourself for a few minutes to let things settle down.
        • If you know you're going to be grinding somewhere wear tight underwear. Briefs in this situation are better than boxers.
        • If all else fails, just go with the flow and ignore it. Your partner may love it! If she doesn't, then she'll move on.
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      • Many people do not like dancing with pushy partners. If you are feeling uncomfortable with where your partner is putting his hands, move them back to your hips or waist. If your partner gets too grabby again, just stop grinding and walk away. Just because you are grinding doesn't mean your partner has permission to grope you. [6]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/how-do-i-respectfully-grind-with-someone/
      2. ↑ https://dancepoise.com/learn-to-grind-dance
      3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s21sg0goqM
      4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s21sg0goqM
      5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s21sg0goqM
      6. ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/how-do-i-respectfully-grind-with-someone/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To grind, wait for some hip-hop or house music to play, then look around the dance floor for some partners you want to grind with. Once you find the right person, move close enough to start dancing. When you want to start grinding, the guy should stand behind the girl as they begin moving their hips in a circular motion. As you find your rhythm, the guy can put his hands on the girl’s hips as the girl bends her knees and gets lower down, keeping her booty in the air. If you want to grind in a group instead of with one partner, keep your eyes on the people around you so you can adjust to their movements. Whether grinding with one person or in a group, check in with those around you to make sure they're leaning in to the experience. If they seem uncomfortable or you aren't sure if they want to grind, ask if it's ok before going any further. To learn how to grind while facing your partner, keep reading!

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