What Are High Femmes and What Do They Look Like?

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Explore what this slang term means in the LGBTQ+ community
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A "high femme" is a person who expresses their gender in super feminine ways. They might wear frilly pink dresses, makeup, and high heels, for example. The term typically refers to female or feminine-presenting people, but can apply to gender non-conforming people, too. Being high femme is all about dressing for yourself in whatever clothing makes you feel powerful and confident in your femininity. Read on to learn more about this term, where it came from, and how it's used today.

High Femme Meaning

A high femme is a person who expresses their gender or personality in ultra-feminine ways. They might like to wear makeup, high heels, skirts, and other traditionally feminine attire. This often refers to a type of lesbian or queer woman, but it can also be applied to gay men and gender non-conforming people.

Section 1 of 3:

What does high femme mean?

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  1. A high femme is similar to a lipstick lesbian —they might like to express themselves with feminine-leaning styles, like wearing makeup or wearing high heels.
    • High femmes are also empowered queer people who live their lives outside of the male or female gender binary.
    • “High femme” tends to refer to a type of lesbian or queer woman, but might be applied to gay men and gender non-conforming individuals in the queer community.
    • Some definitions say that high femmes are passive in bed (and butches are active or dominant). However, this tends to be an outdated stereotype. [1]
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Section 2 of 3:

Where does “high femme” come from?

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  1. “Femme” came from the French word for “young woman.” The word took on a different meaning when it became the counterpart to “butch” in lesbian relationships. [2] “Butch” was used in the 1940s to describe “aggressive” or “macho” women and was reclaimed by lesbians in the 1950s. [3]
    • During the 1950s, police regularly raided gay bars and lesbians identified as either “butch” or “femme” to pass as straight couples to avoid persecution. [4]
    • The “femme” half of the butch-femme dynamic became less acceptable in the 1960s and ‘70s because it mirrored oppressive heterosexual relationships between women and men. [5]
  2. In the 1980s and ‘90s, “femme” not only described gay women but was also used to describe gay men negatively. In the 2000s, gay men fought against marginalization just for acting femme. During this time, “high femme” was coined to describe men who took femininity to a performative level. [6]
    • This movement started because transgender and gender non-conforming people argued that gender doesn’t have to exist in a binary of man or woman—gay men could be feminine, too. [7]
    • Today, “femme” is an identity used by gay men, feminine-leaning non-binary and gender-nonconforming people, and gay women. [8]
  3. “High femme” shot into pop culture popularity when the “Futch Scale” turned into a meme template in 2015. The “Futch Scale” includes “High Femme” on one side, followed by “Femme,” “Butchy Femme,” “Futch,” “Soft Butch,” and “Butch,” with “Stone Butch” on the other side. [9]
    • For example, one of the most popular posts used the scale to sort water Pokemon. [10]
    • According to the scale, a “stone butch” is the opposite of a high femme. Historically, “stone butch” referred to a queer woman who is more interested in giving than receiving in the bedroom. [11]
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Section 3 of 3:

What do high femmes look like?

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  1. High femmes might wear long flowy dresses, silk skirts, high heels, crop tops, and anything pink. They enjoy wearing feminine clothing that makes them feel powerful and confident in themselves.
    • High femmes might also use their style to challenge what it means to be a man or a woman. [12] The high femme aesthetic is all about dressing for yourself, not to fit into a certain category or to attract a certain kind of person. [13]
    • For example, a person might wear lace tops with jeans, dresses with Doc Martens, or a checkered flannel with baggy jeans and high heels and identify as a high femme.
  2. High femmes are often seen wearing a full face of makeup. They may love lipstick, mascara, blush, and all the creativity that comes along with painting their face. Taking care of themselves is almost a full-time job (but a fun one!), and they enjoy pampering.
    • Other high femmes might not enjoy makeup, and that’s okay! High femme culture is all about dismantling assumptions that lesbians have to look masculine. [14]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/13/t-magazine/butch-stud-lesbian.html
      2. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/13/t-magazine/butch-stud-lesbian.html
      4. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/13/t-magazine/butch-stud-lesbian.html
      5. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme
      6. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme
      7. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme
      8. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme
      9. ↑ https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/futch-scale
      1. ↑ https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/futch-scale
      2. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/13/t-magazine/butch-stud-lesbian.html
      3. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/xw7xbz/lgbtq-femme-identity-outfit-photos
      4. ↑ https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a33299024/queer-femme/
      5. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277539521000686#s0160

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