How to Wow Your Husband in the Bedroom: Tips and Tricks to Try

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Sex therapists offer tantalizing tips to rev up your sex life
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If you're looking for some ideas to really turn on your husband, you've come to the right place! Whether you've been married 20 days or 20 years, there are always new and exciting ways to wow your husband in bed. In this article, we'll give you plenty of tips to spice things up, along with specific ways to arouse him and conversation starters that will help you two talk about your sexual desires.

Turning on Your Husband

  1. Send him flirty texts to get him thinking about you during the day.
  2. Give him a sensual back massage to increase intimacy.
  3. Wear a revealing new outfit and then give him a strip tease.
  4. Talk about sex regularly and share your fantasies with each other.
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

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  1. Discuss new positions with your husband before you try something new. Look through a sex manual , find positions online, or even watch porn together. Mutually agree on positions you'd both like to try. [1]
    • For example, if your husband is usually on top, you might give him a break by riding him cowgirl style or taking the dominant position.
    • Remember, both you and your husband should agree on trying a new position. If either one of you doesn't like a particular move, choose something different.
  2. Don't be afraid to go down there, during foreplay or while you're having sex. Touching, stroking, and kissing his genitals can boost your husband's satisfaction. If you're comfortable with it, try giving oral sex to your husband. Remember, he may return the gesture! [2]
    • Use your hands and your mouth to stimulate him and play around with different kinds of touch. For example, you might lightly run your fingernails down his inner thighs.
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  3. Your husband's penis is not the only sensitive part of his body. There are many different erogenous zones that will light up when you touch him. During sex, try exploring these areas: [3]
    • The V-line from his abdomen to his penis
    • Lower lip
    • The Adam's apple
    • Nipples
    • Lower back
    • Earlobes
  4. Try role-playing if you're both into it. Role play lets you and your spouse try on different imaginary roles during sex, and the possibilities are endless. You could be the sexy nurse while your husband is the patient. Or you might pretend you're a sexy fireman who rescues your husband from a fire. Choose a scenario that turns you both on. [4]
    • Look for role-play scenarios online if you need ideas.
    • To really get into your role, try dressing up. For example, if you're role-playing a secretary, you might wear a blazer with no shirt on underneath.
  5. A vibrator is a great tool to spice up sex. All genders can use it to stimulate themselves or each other. [5] Here are some other fun options:
  6. While you might want to impress your husband in bed, it might make things more exciting if you try it somewhere else. You might book a night out at a local hotel. If you can't leave your house, try being intimate in the shower or in other rooms that aren't the bedroom, like on the couch in the living room, or even in your car in the garage. [6]
    • If you have children, it can be hard to get away. Instead of leaving your bedroom, you might try to make your bedroom more exciting. Tidy the room. Light some candles and play some ambient music. Remember to lock the door so that your kids don't walk in by accident!
  7. Your husband wants to feel sexy, too. After you have made love, tell your husband how amazing he was. Specifically mention what you liked and remind him how sexy you find him. [7]
    • You might say, “You are the sexiest person I know. I loved how you grabbed my hair.”
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Arousing Your Husband

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  1. Do Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic wall. These exercises can improve sexual performance for all genders. Start by finding the muscle that you use to stop the flow when you urinate. Contract this muscle for 2 or 3 seconds before releasing. Repeat 10 times daily. [8]
  2. Be confident in your own body. If you feel nervous when you're naked, start examining yourself naked in the mirror when you get ready or take a shower. Make this a daily practice, until you no longer feel shy around your own body. Explore yourself sexually as well. Take some time to learn what you enjoy in bed, and don't be afraid to tell your husband. This will make sex more enjoyable for both of you. [9]
    • Wear clothing that makes you feel sexy and confident. If you think you look good, your husband is sure to agree.
    • Confidence and self-assurance are sexy. If you're comfortable with your body, you may be more open and involved in sex.
    • Remember that your husband probably thinks you're the sexiest thing he's ever seen!
  3. Talk dirty to your husband to get him in the mood. Lower your voice and make eye contact as you speak. You might say, “Wait until you see what I'm going to do to you tonight" or "I want you so bad." This will turn on your husband and really build up his anticipation. [10]
    • If he's still at work, send saucy texts that are safe for work but still full of innuendo. For example, you might send, “I've got a little surprise for you tonight. It's waiting in the bedroom…”
  4. Spice up your wardrobe with some sexy lingerie . Sexy underwear could spark your husband's interest. It also helps you feel sexier and more confident, which your husband will appreciate. Save the new underwear for a special night or surprise him when he may not be expecting it. Here are some ideas: [11]
  5. Give a sensual massage to your husband if he's tired. Ask him to lie down naked on your bed. Start massaging his temples and caress down his face. Stroke and kiss his neck before working your way down his back. Spend extra time around his navel, lower back, and thighs. [12]
  6. Dedicating time to foreplay helps increase satisfaction from sex. Take up to 30 minutes to explore each other before you get down to business. Kiss, cuddle, touch his body, or indulge in some sexy role play.
    • Don't rush it! Foreplay helps you and your husband bond, which builds intimacy and increases enjoyment for both of you.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Learning What He Likes

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  1. Strike up a conversation about sex with your husband. The best way to learn what will impress your husband is to ask him! [13] Pick the right time to have this conversation—a time when you're both relaxed and in good moods. You might say, “Is there anything new you want to try?” Suggest new positions or other ideas and see what sparks his interest. [14]
    • Your husband may not necessarily want to try something new. Instead, he might want to have sex more often or to spend more time together. Consider what your husband has to say and see if you can both work out a solution.
  2. Have your husband underline passages in a book, write down his fantasies, or suggest videos of things that he might like to try. Encourage your husband to share these with you by telling him you're open to new ideas in the bedroom. [15]
    • You might say, "I know it makes you uncomfortable to talk about, but if there's anything you ever want to try, just leave me a note on my dresser."
  3. [16] Good sex means mutual satisfaction. If your husband could improve in some areas to fully please you, avoid nagging or criticizing him. Instead, gently redirect him by telling him what you do like. [17]
    • For example, you might say, “I love it when you bite my neck.”
    • If your husband ever tries something that makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to say no . Just say, “I don't want to do that,” or “I'm not in the mood for that.” If something hurts physically, say, “That hurts a little.”
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I seduce my husband at night?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Change up the routine. Be suggestive about getting him to come to bed earlier, wear something sexy, or suggest a shower together earlier in the evening.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    How can I be romantic to my husband?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Be more affectionate; ask him about his day, his friends, his work. Suggest going to his favorite restaurant for dinner or cook one of his favorite meals. Put on some romantic music after dinner and start slow dancing with him. Tell him how much you enjoy spending time just the two of you.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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    Not Helpful 17 Helpful 23
  • Question
    How can I impress my husband in bed?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You can try something you know he likes that you may not have felt comfortable with in the past, or that you don't try on your own without his coaxing.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/11-ways-to-help-yourself-to-a-better-sex-life
      2. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/11-ways-to-help-yourself-to-a-better-sex-life
      3. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a2299/9-triggers/
      4. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/sex-roleplay
      5. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/11-ways-to-help-yourself-to-a-better-sex-life
      6. ↑ https://theeverymom.com/how-to-boost-your-sex-life-as-parents/
      7. ↑ https://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2014/july/how-to-connect-sexually-with-your-husband.html
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/save-your-sex-life/201206/for-women-only-a-guide-to-coming-out-of-your-sexual-shell
      1. ↑ Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
      2. ↑ https://theeverymom.com/how-to-boost-your-sex-life-as-parents/
      3. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/home-family/sex-intimacy/info-06-2013/sex-erogenous-zones-foreplay-schwartz.html
      4. ↑ Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
      5. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm
      7. ↑ Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm

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        Oct 31, 2018

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