How to Know if a Guy Doesn't Like You Back

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There’s a guy that you’ve been interested in for a while, but you’re not sure if he’s interested in you or not. His body language, eye contact, and consistency with attention are three great ways to tell if he’s interested. Of course, you can just ask him, but this can be nerve-wracking. Take note of certain signs before acting on your feelings for him to ensure that they are mutual. If he doesn’t show these signs, he’s probably not interested.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Reading Body Language

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  1. Strike up a conversation with him and pay attention to the way he interacts with you. If he is an outgoing person and likes you, he’ll playfully touch you while you talk. [1] The occasional shoulder brush or hand-grab to show you something are tell-tale signs. If he is shy, he won’t be as obvious. If this is the case, he may blush or stare at you while you talk.
  2. A true smile extends beyond the normal width of a mouth. If his smile is across his whole face, he’s being affected by you in a good way. If his teeth aren’t showing, he’s most likely forcing the smile. This means that he’s humoring you and isn’t interested.
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  3. All of his muscles will be pulled to show off his body to his best advantage when he’s talking to you if he’s trying to impress you. He’s often stand with his hands on his hips to suggest confidence. When a man is interested, he’ll stand directly in front of you to show full attention and make it possible to lean in to get closer with ease. [3] If he’s not interested, his shoulders will face away from you.
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Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?

Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!
1 of 15

When you two are in a room filled with other people, how often do you catch him staring at you?

Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Observing the Way He Looks at You

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  1. Not only should you be looking for eye contact, but you should also notice his pupils. If he is looking at you while you talk—great. If his pupils are larger than normal—even better! Dilation is a brain response that occurs when someone is attracted to something. [4] If his eye contact is shaky, it most likely means that he wants to get out of the situation that he’s in.
    • Excessive blinking is another strong indication someone is attracted to you. For some people, blink rate spikes when they’re emotionally excited.
    • He might gaze into your eyes, look away, and return to a gentle stare. [5]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1105 wikiHow readers, and 57% of them agreed that the strongest indicator that a boy likes you is if he makes frequent eye contact . [Take Poll]
  2. If his eyebrows are raises slightly, this means that he finds you fascinating. This is a subconscious expression that happens when a man likes what he sees. [6]
  3. He may not always have direct eye contact when he’s speaking to you, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. If his eyes wander, take note of where they’re going. If he’s checking you out—he’s obviously interested. If he seems to be looking past you, it’s not a good sign. That shows that he is in a rush to escape the conversation.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Receiving Attention

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  1. Once you do this, sit with the group for a bit to see how your guy acts. If he seems to be putting on a show for his friends, it is likely that he is trying to get your attention. This means that he’s interested. If he seems quiet or awkward, he might be uncomfortable with the situation because he’s not interested in you and doesn’t feel comfortable with you hanging around his friends.
  2. Take note of how often and the reasons he calls or texts you when you aren’t together. If he is only calling you to ask a favor, he probably just sees you as a friend. If he calls just to see how you’re doing or to make small talk, he’s interested.
  3. Is he always on is phone? Does he appear scatter-brained and ready to get out of the conversation? If either of these are true, he’s not interested. If he is interested, he will give you his full attention for as long as he can get it for. [7]
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Being Direct

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  1. Ask him, straight forward, what he looks for in a romantic partner. This will give you a better idea of the kind of things that he is or isn’t attracted to. (Take note about if you have these qualities or not.) Not only should you ask what he likes, but also ask what he doesn’t like. Keep it casual, but pick at his brain for his biggest turn-ons and turn-offs.
  2. If he says that he’s “not sure how he feels,” that’s not a good sign. Chances are, he knows, but he knows you won’t respond well if he tells you. [8] If he says that he thinks that you have a great personality, ask him if he finds you attractive.
  3. Have a talk about what you mean to each other. Make sure not to bring it up in front of a group. That might make him uncomfortable and he might not give very straight answers to avoid an awkward situation.
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I get him interested if he might like another girl?
    Community Answer
    Don't make it seem like a competition, or at least don't be the one to start it. (That can get nasty fast.) Focus on acting confident and friendly around him, and looking nice. If he doesn't go your way, accept it and move on.
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    Not Helpful 34 Helpful 300
  • Question
    Why won't my crush talk to me even though he knows I like him?
    Community Answer
    If he seems shy or embarrassed, he might like you back. If he just ignores you all the time, he probably doesn't.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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    Not Helpful 43 Helpful 300
  • Question
    How do you move on if he does not like you?
    Community Answer
    Spend more time with your friends, even when you don't want to. Try to be as happy and confident as you can. Even though he wasn't into you, it doesn't mean nobody else is!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Tips

      • If he isn’t interested, move on. You won’t be able to force him to be into you.
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        Helpful 32 Not Helpful 2
      • Don’t get hung up on “type.” If you hear that he’s only into a certain type of person, there’s still a chance. You could be the exception.
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        Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
      • If a boy says that he “hates you” it doesn’t mean he does! He probably likes you and doesn’t want it to be obvious! However, it isn't like this in all cases, so be careful.
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        Helpful 14 Not Helpful 16

      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Listen to the way he describes girls. If he says they're just cute, he’s probably not interested in them as much as you might think. On the other hand if he says they're beautiful or gorgeous then he probably likes them more than the other girls he just finds cute.
      • If he was already your good friend and he knows you like him, he will probably still act as good friends. These 'signs' aren't always love signs, but signs of friendship.
      • If he doesn't take time to talk to you or make small talk it could mean that he is either shy or he is not interested.
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      References

      1. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
      2. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
      3. ↑ http://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-hes-interested-definitely-I283709
      4. ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/lying-eyes-or-something-else-how-blink-rate-pupil-dilation-give-insight-honesty-and-319164
      5. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
      6. ↑ http://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-hes-interested-definitely-I283709
      7. ↑ http://time.com/2912307/undivided-attention-6-ways-to-focus-that-will-make-you-happier/
      8. ↑ http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/signs-he-does-not-like-you/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      It can be tricky to tell if the guy you have a crush on likes you back. If he likes you, he’ll probably make eye contact, get close when you talk to him, and use friendly, open body language. You might notice him smiling at you a lot or catch him looking at you when you glance his way. On the other hand, if he avoids looking at you, doesn’t smile much when you chat with him, or leans away whenever you try to get close, he might not be interested. Pay attention to how he talks to you, too. If he gives you his full attention, pays you compliments, or teases you in a friendly way, there’s a good chance he’s into you. However, if he seems distracted all the time, keeps his answers to your questions really brief, or looks for excuses to end the conversation, he may not like you back. Of course, it’s possible that he does like you, but is too shy to show it. The only way to know for sure is to ask him. Look for a chance to chat in private and ask him what he thinks of you. Say something like, “Hey, I really like you, and I was just wondering if you might feel the same way.” For tips on how to ask a guy directly if he likes you, keep reading!

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      Reader Success Stories

      • Amelia McCallister

        May 5, 2016

        "Body language was the number one for me. After having various interactions with him and reading his body language, ..." more
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