How to Make Women Melt

Co-authored by Mary Church, PhD

Last Updated: December 13, 2024 References

Few men are blessed with the perfect script containing the perfect words that will have women swooning. Knowing what to say and do to make a woman's heart melt means listening, trusting your instincts and knowing your woman inside-out. In this article, you'll learn some of the ways that can make a woman melt. You'll remain the most appealing man in her life, and you'll make her feel as special as it's possible to feel.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Treating Her Wonderfully

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1
Take the initiative to help her out. Set aside defined gender roles in your household and distribute the work equally. ^{[1]
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Research source} When you've settled down and made your love nest together, here are some ways to keep the woman in your life melting:
- Make her breakfast in bed on the weekend. You can also cook breakfast or dinner for the whole family. If you're not already cooking for the family regularly, start making this a regular routine. Also, know what her favorite foods are. When you go grocery shopping together, add them to the cart as an automatic reflex. You'll send shivers of delight down her spine!
- Do things without having to be asked. Take care of the vacuuming, the pets or the pile of dishes in the sink. Repair broken items around the house.
- Take care of the kids for a day. Take them out and wear them out so they come home exhausted and don't want to hassle her! Or give her the special delight of arranging an entire day of playing with them and feeding them at home, allowing her to just sit back and enjoy the sound of her children laughing and enjoying themselves all day. This combination that will definitely make her heart melt: you caring for the kids while they are laughing with joy.
- Take care of her when she's sick. Make special meals, fetch her mail, fluff up her pillows, rub her back, get the temperature "just right," rent her favorite movies, and if you have kids, tell her not to worry because you're taking care of everything.
- When she's tired, run her a warm bath with something scented in the water, or give her a relaxing massage. Carry her to bed if she falls asleep anywhere else.
2
Be a creative gift giver. Gifts that are unique and thoughtful in nature are a lovely way to tell her that she's special. ^{[2]
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- Give traditional gifts in the beginning of the relationship, such as stuffed animals, your sweater or sweatshirt or a piece of jewelry. After you've been together for a while, start coming up with something a little more personalized so that she'll know you're into her.
- Have the gift customized. For example, you can inscribe a special message on a mug, T-shirt or bracelet. Then, give her a note card that says, "I want you to know that I appreciate everything you do. I probably should tell you more. I think you're the complete package. So I'm giving you this bracelet to show how much I appreciate you," she'll melt.
- Don't just buy the first bundle of flowers that the florist has to offer. Go out of your way to either select flowers that you know she loves or to find less common ones, such as violets or freesias. You can also pick wildflowers and give them to her yourself--she'll definitely melt.
- Choose handmade chocolates from a hard-to-find artisan chocolate shop. Or if you're good at it, go all out and make them yourself! ^{[3]
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- Remember your anniversaries and arrange unique ways to celebrate them. And tickle her pink by mentioning an upcoming anniversary before she does!
3
Say things that make women melt. Saying things that make her melt depends on who she is and how well you know her. While you won't find a 1-size-fits-all formula, have a toolbox full of general sweet somethings that you can use until you know her a little better. Here are some of you might like to try: ^{[4]
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- Acknowledge her sense of humor . Tell her that she makes you laugh.
- Ask her, "How was your day?" It's surprising how many times people forget this simple nicety. Yet, it means a lot because it gives her an open invitation to talk about herself. Ask specific questions about her job or about her day raising your children.
- If you've been apart a few days, tell her you miss her. Something like: "Can't wait to see you; feels like it's been an eternity since we've been together."
- If things have been flagging a little lately in the romance department, tell her: "Honey, I want to increase the romance in our lives."
- Tell her there's no one else like her. She's unique, and nobody else in the world is as right for you as she is. Everyone likes being told how special they are. Doing this serves as an especially powerful tonic if she's feeling insecure. When you're getting ready to propose, tell her: "I cannot wait to spend every moment of my entire life with you."
4
Use endearments regularly. Your own special words for one another are a reminder of the unique love for one another and it's important to continue using these even as your relationship turns into everyday living. ^{[5]
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Expert Source

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- Call her by a pet name. Some of the cute names women like may include kitten, love, sweetheart, sweetie, babe, gorgeous, darling/darlin', princess or a sweet nickname that you came up with on your own.
- Tell her that you love her regularly. Few of us tell one another often enough that we love each other. For example, in public, say "Sweetie, I love you" loudly enough for people around you to hear, and then kiss her. Or call her or text her for no other reason than to say, "I love you."
Book everything, create a small portfolio of the trip and ask her to "close your eyes" and then "open your eyes and look where I'm taking you" before placing the itinerary in her hands. If she's a hard worker who worries about time availability, try to clear the vacation time with her boss first. ^{[6]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Appreciating Her

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1
Tell her how much you appreciate her. ^{[7]
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Research source} You can never underestimate the power of appreciating another person for who they are, particularly the special woman in your life. It isn't enough to just say that you're thankful to have her in your life; it's important to spell out why. The details matter because they go to the core of who she is and how her essence is reflected in your eyes. ^{[8]
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- Notice what she does to help others, including you, and make a comment about how much you value her generosity and kindness. Tell her that you really appreciate her ability to help and care for others.
- Pay attention to her appearance changes. Tell her you love her new hair style or her new clothes.
- Cherish the little things. Whenever you notice something small that reminds you how much you appreciate her, say it rather than just thinking it. ^{[9]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mary Church, PhD
  Research & Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
2
Compliment her often. One important way of letting her know that you appreciate her is to compliment her. Compliments serve as instant mood-boosters and are an important means for reminding her how much you care about her. Don't compliment her so much that she begins to question your sincerity, but at the same time, don't get into a routine that causes you to forget how much she needs to know that you notice her. ^{[10]
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- Be specific in your compliments. Instead of making a general remark about how beautiful she is, pinpoint specific aspects of her that amaze you, such as her eyes, her hair or the way she smiles. Singling out a particular reason for why you like or love a person is far more effective than a generalized reason.
- Ask questions that are a compliment. For example: "I love your earrings , they are perfect with your outfit. Where did you find them?" A question like this shows that you notice, that you think she looks great and that she has good taste.
- Be sincere . If your compliments or comments are not meant sincerely, they won't carry a genuine feeling and she'll pick up on this lack of sincerity. Dale Carnegie once said: ""Flattery is from the teeth out. Sincere appreciation is from the heart out." Therefore, only say things you feel in your heart and believe with all your might. ^{[11]
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Tell her what you love about it. For example: "Darling, you've got such an incredible body. Are you sure we've had three kids and 10 years together?" Let her know she is beautiful, but be specific about what you like. Don't simply tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world because she won't believe that you're sincere.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Communicating With Her

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1
Listen to her . This means really listening, so that you learn about her deepest fears, convictions, desires, and hopes. Remember what she tells you, and occasionally do something that shows you've heard what her deepest wants are. ^{[12]
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Expert Source

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.} ^{[13]
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- Always be prepared to listen to her viewpoint. Even if you don't agree, strive to understand what she's saying so that you can reach a compromise. Ask questions that provoke her to say more instead of just asking "yes" or "no" questions.
- Listen without debating, fixing or responding. Avoid disagreeing when she finally trusts you enough to open up to you.
2
Use touch to make her melt. Remember that non-sexual touch is very important for women and is something you can put into play every day you see one another. ^{[14]
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- Stroke, rub or simply touch her arms, hands and neck. A simple touch as you go to the bathroom and return again when at dinner together can do wonders.
- Stroke her hair. If it's windy, brush the hair out of her eyes and off her face.
- Stand behind her, wrap your arms around her and hug her. You can kiss her neck, whisper in her ear or nibble her ears as well. Hold her hips with your hands.
- When she rolls over to go to sleep, kiss her in between her shoulder blades. It's an erogenous zone.
- Squeeze her hand three times for "I - love - you."
- Kiss her eyelids, or give butterfly kisses (using your eyelashes) on her cheeks.
- When introducing her to your friends and family, put your arm around her. If you're talking to a female friend, pull your woman closer to you. Kiss her hand around your best buddies to show her she's worth it.
- Hug her. Hugs are great for cheering her up, for saying hello and for reassuring her if she feels jealous.
- Give her random kisses.
3
Flirt subtly in public. A public show of your affection and love for her is a display of your pride in being with her.
- If you spend time looking up generic pick-up lines, sift through them to discard the trite, the lame, the obvious, the inappropriate and the downright silly. You know your woman best – do her a favor by reflecting your love, not your cliches.
- Keep flirting throughout the months and years that you stay together. Don't let the spice creep out of your relationship. ^{[15]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mary Church, PhD
  Research & Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
When you ask for her help, you're showing that you trust her enough to let down your masculine guard and show some vulnerability. It's a heart-melting gesture.
She'll appreciate that you're seeking solace in her love. Alternatively, if you call her on the phone and she's crying, go around and see her rather than trying to cheer her up on the phone alone.
Be humorous and witty. Humor easily melts a woman's heart because you're demonstrating to her that you can relax easily and see the funnier side of life. ^{[16]
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Research source} A sense of humor shows her that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you're ready for a humorous take on the most challenging issues the 2 of you might face together. Laugh a lot, and keep the warm smiles for her. Whenever she's feeling down, do your best to make her laugh.
7
Enjoy each other's company and have fun together. Sometimes it can be tempting to make a relationship too serious in its focus, or to try to be a serious couple in a way you think conforms to societal expectations, thereby deadening the spontaneity in your lives. Always take time to re-inject fun into your time together, no matter how long you've been a couple.
- Do what she wants to do,. Spending time doing the things she finds fun is a ready-made way to make her melt. Put aside what you'd rather be doing and indulge her, even if it means seeing a chick flick once in a while.
- Take her to your favorite sport. Spend more time talking to her (even it's to explain the sport) than watching the game.
- Do crazy things together once in a while to shake things up. ^{[17]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Mary Church, PhD
  Research & Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.} Unexpected surprises will thrill her heart! ^{[18]
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- Reader Poll: We asked 452 wikiHow readers which type of date night they prefer, and 52% of them said spending a cozy night in cuddling and watching a movie. [Take Poll] This can be a nice, relaxing way to enjoy each other’s company.
Respecting a woman's intelligence shows that you hold her in high personal regard. Put aside the corny pick-up lines, gender jokes or put-downs. Flirt with her intelligence as much as her beauty and sexiness and you'll make her melt.
True friendship shows that you'll be by her side regardless of your status as partner or lover. ^{[19]
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Research source} Being a friend shows that you're willing to be there through thick and thin, that you're trustworthy and that you trust her with your deepest confidences. Women see friendship as being at the heart of any good relationship, and being her best friend will make her melt.

Become a Better Lover with this Expert Series

Ready to become the best lover you can be? We've put together this expert series to help you spice things up in the bedroom and foster romance in your relationship.

1

Become a Better Lover

2

Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

3

Make Love Last

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11 Ways to Make a Woman Feel Loved and Secure

5

Be a Better Boyfriend

6

How to Become a More Romantic Man

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Question

What can I do to help keep the romance alive?

Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Mary Church is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of clinical experience, she aims to integrate evolution, genetics, and neuroscience within the practice of psychotherapy. Dr. Church holds a BS in Psychology from Eckerd College and an MS and PhD in Experimental Psychology from The University of Memphis. She completed a Post-Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at The University of Hawaii at Manoa. In addition, Dr. Church is a member of the American Evaluation Association and Hawaii-Pacific Evaluation Association.

Mary Church, PhD

Research & Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Make sure you go out and do new things together so you can experience them with one another.

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Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. He wants us to get married now, but I am confused. What should I do?

Luna Rose

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Try saying "I love you, and while marriage is possible someday, I think it's too soon to take that step." Then watch how he reacts. A good guy might be slightly disappointed, but he'll respect it, and be happy to put the discussion off until the two of you know each other better. But if he pushes or whines or tries to force it, that's a red flag, and it means he's probably not husband material. (You want someone who listens to and respects your feelings.) Before getting engaged, it's best to have been dating each other for at least a year or two, and each have solid experience living on your own as independent adults so you know what you want and need out of life.

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Tips

Play with a strand of her hair when you're watching a movie or reading a book and curled up on the couch or in bed.

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Never ignore her texts or calls.

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Be kind to her pets and be real – they're not a source of competition.

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Warnings

Avoid flirting with her friends or family members. When you're with her, make sure that she's the only woman that you're noticing.

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Stay away from cliched gestures. At the right moments, flattery and gifts do work well. However, don't shower her with clichéd and trite compliments, grand statements of love and generic gifts like jewelry or flowers. You may find that such gifts lose their value or meaning over time.

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Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist

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How to Make Women Melt

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Treating Her Wonderfully

Appreciating Her

Communicating With Her

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Expert Q&A

Tips

Warnings

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