How to Make a Friend Happy

Co-authored by Lena Dicken, Psy.D

Last Updated: August 9, 2024 References

If someone you care about is feeling down and needs some cheering up, who better to help them than you, their awesome, supportive friend? Still, it's not always easy to know what to do or say when a friend is feeling sad. That's why we've put together this list of simple things you can do to cheer up your friend and get them smiling again. Try one or more of the suggestions below, and hopefully your friend will be happy again in no time.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Cheering Up Your Friend

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1
Spend time together. Relationships, no matter the form, are a key to happiness. Therefore, just spending time with your friend can make both of you happier. Make sure to encourage one another, as well as offer gratitude for the relationship, all of which will increase her happiness.
- For instance, you could let her know that you value her friendship by telling her regularly, such as saying "I just want you to know how glad I am you're in my life," or by sending her a card every now and then.
"Laughter is the best medicine" is a saying for a reason. Laughing can make you happier and healthier as a person, so try to get your friends to laugh by cracking jokes or even poking (light) fun at yourself.

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3
Build up her self-esteem. Everyone needs to hear they are smart, strong, and beautiful sometimes. Don't be afraid to tell your friend these things, as they can help her build confidence and self-esteem. Try to make your compliments unique to the person, so she knows you truly mean what you say. ^{[1]
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Research source}
- For instance, saying "I really like how you take the time to listen to everyone you meet. It shows how much you care about people." is a more specific compliment then, "You're a good listener."
- Any time you hear your friend putting themselves down, try to respond with a compliment or some encouraging words. This can help your friend see themselves in a more positive light. ^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.}
Brene Brown, Author & Professor of Social Work

Real friends celebrate each other. "Good friends aren’t afraid of your light. When something good happens to you, they celebrate your flame. When something good happens to them, you celebrate their flame."
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Help her to see the positive side. If your friend is grouching about a situation at work, for instance, help her see the positive side of things. ^{[3]
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Expert Source

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Life Coach

Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.} That doesn't mean you should downplay her feelings. In fact, definitely hear out her problem before reacting. But try to help her asking probing questions such as, "What things can you do to make the situation better?" or "What's been happening at work lately that's been good?"
- Research shows that those who choose to look for happiness learn to be more optimistic overall, making them happier in general.
5
Try out new things together. True happiness is in part about the adventure. It may mean you may need to step outside of what's comfortable and try something new, and in turn, discover new things you love. If you want your friends to be happy, encourage them to try new things with you.
- For instance, try a new restaurant in your city, explore nearby towns, or begin a new hobby together.
Pick a time when you have no agenda. Just give her a call to say hello, and see how she's doing. Nothing says, "I'm thinking about you." like giving someone a call. ^{[4]
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You know what your friend likes. Maybe she can't live without an afternoon coffee, or maybe she has a penchant for black forest cake. Surprise her by bringing one of them to her when you know she's having a rough day. ^{[5]
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Dancing gets your blood pumping, plus it's silly and fun. Put some music on, and rock out together. ^{[6]
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Not many people get handwritten notes anymore. It's so rare, in fact, that it's bound to put a smile on her face. Drop a note in the mail to her. If you include one with a funny card, that's a bonus. ^{[7]
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Do something nice out of the blue. Drop by with her favorite casserole. Do a chore you know she hates to do, like mow the lawn. Send her a small present you know she'll love. Any concrete gesture will be sure to brighten her day. ^{[8]
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Research source}
- Reader Poll: We asked 1019 wikiHow readers how they prefer to comfort someone, and only 6% of them agreed that the best way to do so is by making their favorite food. [Take Poll] While this can be a great gesture, try to find out if there’s anything you can do to take some stress off of them.
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Be happy yourself. One of the best ways to make your friends happier is to be happier yourself. That is, you tend to be happier when you are around people who are happier. Similarly, your happiness will rub off on your friends.
- When spending time with your friend, try to think and speak positively. Your positive outlook will help encourage your friend to think similarly. ^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.}

Part 2

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Supporting a Friend Who's Depressed

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1
Let her know you're there for her. Sometimes, just being with a friend who's depressed can be a big help. If you can't be there with the person, offer your emotional support, letting her know that you're there to listen and help in whatever way you can. ^{[10]
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Expert Source

Lena Dicken, Psy.D
Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.} ^{[11]
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Research source}
- Say something like, "Would it be helpful for you to talk right now? I'm here for you." ^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Lena Dicken, Psy.D
  Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.}
2
Offer concrete support. Being depressed can make the smallest things hard. You can offer concrete support to the person, such as volunteering to drive her places, cooking for her, or calling to make appointments for things she needs to get done. Just make sure to follow through on what support you offer. ^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Go ahead and make the offer of support up front. Sometimes people who are depressed have a hard time reaching out for help when they need it.
Even something small can mean a great deal to someone who's depressed. Bring her a coffee, or drop her a note in the mail. Try cooking her a plate of sweet treats she'll enjoy. These small gestures add up, letting her know that she's loved and you are thinking about her.
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Encourage her to get help. If she hasn't already, try to get her to seek a professional opinion. Ask her if she's talked to a therapist or a psychiatrist, both of which can help with depression. ^{[14]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Because mental illnesses have a stigma in society, you should also mention that she shouldn't feel ashamed of getting help. Depression is just a disease like any other one, and it can be treated.
- If she's hesitant, offer to take her to an appointment or to work with her to help her feel less anxious. Maybe you can help her work through what to say or what questions to ask when she gets there. ^{[15]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
If she's not willing to see a psychologist, look up some local support groups for people with depression. You can give her the information to encourage her to go, but it's ultimately up to her. However, one way you can encourage her is to offer to take her. ^{[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
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Encourage her to come out with you. Many times, people with depression will isolate themselves. Encourage her to spend time with you doing things she likes or taking a walk with you. Getting out and seeing people can help on the road to recovery. ^{[17]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Of course, you have to meet people where they are. If she doesn't feel like going out right away, ask if she wants some company at home or if she wants to come over to your house.
You're only trying to be helpful by offering advice such as "Just buck up," or "You really need to snap out of this." However, these types of statements tend to only make the situation worse. Supportive statements are much better, such as, "I know you're going through a difficult time. I do believe you are strong enough to get through this, but don't be afraid to ask for help."

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My best friend will become suddenly angry, and it will take time to cheer her up. What can I do? How do I make her happy?

Community Answer

First try to find out why she is angry, and try to make her happy. Do something to help her forget about whatever made her angry in the first place.

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Question

My friend is crying right now because of a failed exam, how can I make her happy?

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Just be with her, listen if she wants to talk about it, and remind her that one bad grade is not the end of the world. Tell her if she wants help studying for the next exam, you will be there for her. Then ask her to do something fun. Take her out for ice cream, watch her favorite movie, etc.

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What can I do when my best friend is crying and making me cry and saying that she hates her life and wants to be gone?

Community Answer

Those are very serious things to say. If someone says that they want to hurt themselves or die, they are probably suffering from depression, and unfortunately you can't just cheer them up at that point. Depression is a disease. Talk to an adult, like your parents or your friends parents, and tell them what she's said. The best thing you can do for your friend is to get her some help.

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Expert Source

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Life Coach

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Lena Dicken, Psy.D
Clinical Psychologist

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How to Make a Friend Happy

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Supporting a Friend Who's Depressed

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