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Like the saying goes, you only get one chance to make a good first impression. That’s why when you’re going on a date, it’s important to present your best self to make sure that things go well. As long as you’re polite and considerate, show an interest in your date and make sure that they’re enjoying themselves, you’re almost guaranteed to fuel the fires of attraction and score the opportunity of a second date.
Steps
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Get yourself clean. Take a hot shower, wash your hair and brush your teeth. You’re going to want to make sure that you’re clean, fresh and ready to put your best foot forward from the skin outward. It can be awkward going on a date with someone who smells bad or has food stuck in their teeth, so start by taking care of your basic hygiene needs. [1] X Research source- Washing up isn’t just about making yourself presentable; the cleaner you are, the more put together you’ll feel.
- Put on deodorant and give your mouth a quick rinse with some antiseptic mouthwash. You'll be thankful you did once you and your date get up close and personal.
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Pick out a sharp outfit. Wear clothing that is eye-catching and complements your figure. Choose an outfit that is appropriate for the venue where you’re meeting for your date. If you’re going to the opera, for instance, break out the fitted suit or evening dress, or wear neatly pressed khakis. A simple button-down shirt or a tasteful skirt and blouse will look great if you’re going somewhere more casual. Your clothing choices should be stylish yet comfortable so that you can look and feel your best all evening long.- There’s no need to dress to the nines for a light lunch or a coffee meetup. Dress for the specific occasion so that you can show that you’re ready for any situation.
- Wear some color. Research suggests that clothing yourself in bright colors can give you the appearance of boldness and vibrancy. [2] X Research source
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Style and groom. After you’ve cleaned yourself up and selected the perfect outfit, take a last look to ensure that the rest of your appearance is in order. Style your hair to make it neat and attractive. Trim your fingernails if they’re too long, or paint them to be more eye-catching. And, of course, remember to put on deodorant before you head out the door. [3] X Research source- Assume that every detail of your appearance will be noticed. That way, you won’t miss anything when getting ready.
- Feel free to spritz on a subtle scent before your date, but go easy. Too much cologne or perfume can be overpowering.
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Put on a smile. Be prepared to do a lot of smiling. If you’re nervous or feeling uncomfortable, don’t let it show. Instead, keep smiling and act natural. Not only will smiling make you more attractive to your date, it can improve your own mood, as well. [4] X Research source- Smiling displays positivity and trustworthiness, and tells people that you’re fun to be around.
- If you’re nervous before or during the date, smiling can help keep you at ease.
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Do something interesting. For your first date, plan an activity in which you can both get involved, rather than just sitting and staring at each other while trying to make conversation. Dinner and/or a movie is a time-honored option, but there are dozens of others: go for a long walk outside, try a new bar or restaurant, get tickets to a sporting event or find a quiet place to sit and watch the sun set. [5] X Research source- It’s a lot of pressure to try to sit and talk for hours with someone you just met. Attending events or participating in fun activities together will help you both loosen up, and you can reserve some time afterward to have some one-on-one interaction.
- The date will also be more memorable if you have something out of the ordinary planned.
- Reader Poll: We asked 534 wikiHow readers, and 52% of them agreed that a coffee shop is the best place to have a first date. [Take Poll]
EXPERT TIPLicensed PsychologistSarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.Try not to come across as too aggressive. Love and relationship psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz says: "Sometimes people can be very forward when they're meeting someone, and it can be off-putting. If you approach a person like you're an aggressive hunter, their fear response might kick in, and they're going to want to run."
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Arrive on time. Make sure you’re there when you say you’re going to be. Call your date to confirm whether you’re to meet them at a previously agreed upon location or swinging by to pick them up. Give yourself plenty of time to take care of last minute tasks before you have to leave. Punctuality is an extremely important quality, as it shows that you’re reliable and can be taken at your word. Showing up late is a surefire way to ruin a good first impression. [6] X Research source- Be a little early, if you can. Not only will it demonstrate that you’re taking the date seriously, it can also give you a chance to get comfortable with the setting and mentally prepare for your introduction.
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Be polite. In addition to simply acting friendly, show your date that you’re a gentleman (or a lady) by being considerate. Guys should hold open doors, pull out chairs and offer to pick up the check, if it pleases the girl. Both people should practice good manners when eating and speaking to keep from making the other uncomfortable. [7] X Research source- Common courtesy is a must, but it may be off-putting to some people to have things done for them. See how your date reacts to little gestures before forcing more of this kind of behavior on them.
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Avoid the usual questions. Ask your date questions about themselves to find out more about them, but don’t confine your topics to just work, hobbies and personal beliefs. Inquire about their family, pets, favorite music and places they like to vacation. Be enthusiastic about getting to know them. You might pose questions sure to capture their imagination, like "what's the most interesting thing about you?" or "if you only had one day to live, what would you do?" Treat your date like a date, not a job interview. [8] X Research source [9] X Research source- You don’t want your date to feel like they’re being interrogated. Be careful about asking them point-blank questions about their preferences or hangups. [10] X Research source
- Assume that your date doesn’t want to talk about work stresses or past relationships; find something unique to talk about.
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Show an interest in your date. Give your undivided attention to your date so that they know you’ve taken a genuine interest in them and what they have to say. Maintain eye contact when talking, and nod or make small verbal confirmations like “mmhm” and “I agree” to signal that you’re really listening. When people feel that they are interesting to others, they become more confident, and more comfortable as a result. [11] X Research source- Don’t dominate the conversation or constantly turn it around to be about yourself. Let them talk while listening intently, then share your thoughts when the discussion comes around to you.
- Get a feel for your date’s mood during the course of the night. Be mindful of considerations like “is he/she comfortable?” “Am I talking too much?” etc.
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Focus on having a good time. Remember to relax and think of the date as a treat rather than an obligation. First dates can sometimes be nerve-wracking, but stay positive and try to have fun. Keep your date (and yourself) laughing and don't take the occasion too seriously. Get absorbed in your conversation and shut off the part of your brain that's constantly analyzing whether the date is a success. Whatever your reasons are for dating, the most important thing is for you and your date to enjoy each other’s company. [12] X Research source- Too often, people go on dates with motives other than simply getting to know someone, and it can make things feel strained. Keep your expectations in check and be glad to spend time with your date.
- If you feel like your date isn't having a good time, switch up your activities. If you both feel awkward talking over drinks at a fancy bar, for instance, pay the check and go for a long walk outside, or find something else to do to take the pressure off. You may just need a change of environment.
EXPERT TIPDating CoachJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.Make building an emotional connection the main goal of your date. Fun activities and stimulating conversation are the name of the game as you get to know each other. While you're at it, practice active listening to show that you care about what your date has to say.
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Look for things you have in common. As you’re talking to your date, pick up on similarities between the two of you. Perhaps you're both dog lovers and can bond over pictures of your pets, or you might discover that you're both die hard supporters of the same sports team. Highlighting what you have in common is the best way to establish a deeper connection. It can also take some of the pressure off conversation starting out, as you’ll find that you have much more to talk about. [13] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source- Learn to appreciate your differences, too. If your date doesn’t happen to share your viewpoint on something, don’t automatically count in as a strike against them. Think about how their opinions speak to their character. [14] X Research source
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Ask for a second date. If things have gone well, ask your date if they would be willing to see you again at the end of the night. Be assertive and make it known that you’ve had a good time with them. Leave your phone number with your date and encourage them to call or text you, or ask for their number if they seem open to giving it to you. If you’ve made a good first impression, you could be on your way to forming a strong, lasting relationship. [15] X Research source- Try to get a sense of how much your date has enjoyed themselves before asking for their phone number to avoid coming off as pushy.
- Call or text the other person within a couple of days after the date to let them know that you had a good time with them.
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Join the Discussion...
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Have the Perfect First Date with this Expert Series
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Tips
- Have the date planned out in advance, but be ready to deviate from your plan depending on how things are going.Thanks
- Bars don't make ideal venues for a first date. Pick somewhere where you can focus more attention on the two of you.Thanks
- Don't fidget, let your eyes wander or tug at your hair or clothing when talking. This will give your nerves away, and it can be rude if you do it too much.Thanks
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Warnings
- It's usually best to avoid topics like religion, politics and controversial beliefs when you're first getting to know somebody.Thanks
- Remember: you should prioritize enjoying making a new acquaintance. Try not to act like you're auditioning candidates for marriage.Thanks
- Don't move too fast. Your date will give you signals if they expect a goodnight kiss or an offer for another date. Acting too forcefully may leave them with a negative impression.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://singledatingdiva.com/2012/06/27/why-personal-hygiene-is-so-important-when-dating/
- ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/relationships/news/a29331/how-to-make-a-good-first-date-impression/
- ↑ https://singledatingdiva.com/2016/03/25/style-friday-top-5-womens-grooming-pre-date-protips/
- ↑ http://inspiyr.com/9-benefits-of-smiling/
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janet-blair-page/7-ways-to-make-a-good-imp_b_5218839.html
- ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/07/16/a-man-is-punctual-the-importance-of-being-on-time/
- ↑ http://get-a-wingman.com/make-good-impression-on-woman-on-a-first-date/
- ↑ http://stylecaster.com/first-date-questions-that-are-foolproof/
- ↑ http://lifehacker.com/the-best-ways-to-break-the-ice-and-get-to-know-someone-1736039897
- ↑ https://betterafter50.com/on-a-date-dont-interrogate/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201303/making-good-impression-first-date
- ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/relationships/news/a29331/how-to-make-a-good-first-date-impression/
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-find-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201508/6-reasons-appreciate-differences-your-partner
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janet-blair-page/7-ways-to-make-a-good-imp_b_5218839.html
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Article Summary
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Practicing good hygiene and dressing nicely are definitely important for a first date, but there's more to making a good first impression than appearance alone. Make sure you're on time for your date—being late is not a good way to kick things off. Give your date your undivided attention (no checking your phone or zoning out), and do your best to relax and have a good time. If you're positive, friendly, and warm with your date, they'll be so much more likely to have a good time and want to see you again. For more expert dating tips, check out the full article below!
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