How to Make a Man Feel Sexy

Co-authored by Connell Barrett and Kira Jan

Last Updated: February 11, 2024 Fact Checked

How exactly do you make a guy feel sexy? Making your guy feel wanted and attractive can boost his confidence, strengthen your relationship, and heat up your love life. From gentle touches and a little extra attention to emotional connection, we’ve got all the hot tips to make your man feel desirable. Get ready to treat your guy right—and make him want you even more.

1

Compliment the way he looks.

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Giving your guy a compliment is an easy way to make him feel attractive. Start simple by telling him you think he’s handsome or pointing out your favorite part of his physical appearance. Most guys aren’t used to getting compliments all the time, and some verbal validation from you will mean a lot! ^{[1]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 18 February 2021}
- Try squeezing his arms and saying something like, “I love how strong you are.”
- Run your hands through his hair and say, “You know you’re hot, right?”
- Casually drop a compliment in by wrapping your arms around him and saying, “Hey, handsome.”

2

Gaze into his eyes.

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Eye contact is a powerful way to make your man realize he's special to you. Every now and then, give him a flirty smile and hold his gaze for about three seconds. When you two make eye contact, it’ll release a flood of bonding hormones to bring you two closer together. ^{[2]
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Research source} If you want a more intense eye contact exercise, try sitting across from each other and gazing into his eyes for 5 minutes. ^{[3]
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- Let him catch you staring at him. If he asks what you’re doing just say, “Oh, I’m just staring at this super hot guy I’m dating” or “I’m just looking at the love of my life.”

3

Be physically affectionate.

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Physical touch will make your man feel wanted. You can make your partner feel sexy and show him you appreciate him by giving him a quick hug or kiss. Go for a cuddle session during your next Netflix night or intertwine your fingers in his as you walk down the street. To turn up the heat, let your hand rest on his upper thigh as you sit next to him. ^{[4]
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- Be sure to ask for feedback so you know what type of touch he likes. Say something like, “Do you like it when I play with your hair?”
- As a bonus, couples who casually touch each other tend to be happier.

4

Give him a massage.

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A massage can be sensual and relaxing. Pick a clean, quiet, clutter-free area for your massage. Then, put on some soothing music, break out the massage oils, and get started. You can keep the massage non-sexual or let it turn into hot foreplay—either way, your guy’s going to feel special. ^{[5]
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- Heat up your massage oils beforehand by placing the bottle in a bowl of warm water or simply rubbing the oil between your palms.
- Work in circular motions, kneading with your thumbs while applying pressure with other parts of your hands, like the side of your palm, the flat of your palm, and your fingertips.
- Start softly and gradually apply more pressure. Make sure you ask him what feels good!

5

Change up the way you kiss.

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New kissing techniques can make him crave you. Changing up your kissing game can spice up your love life while showing your guy you think he’s hot. Try kissing different parts of his body, like his neck or his ears, or sucking on an ice cube before you kiss for a cool but sexy contrast. ^{[6]
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- Pay special attention to his ears, which have tons of nerve endings. Nibble on his earlobe, or work up his neck towards his ear with gentle kisses.

6

Be the one to initiate sex.

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He’ll think it’s super hot if you take charge and start spicing things up. When you tell him how much you want him, you can make him feel desirable. Turn a cuddle session into something more, grab his hand and pull him into the bedroom. If you really want to make a guy hot for you, go all out by putting on silk or lace lingerie, playing some soft music, and dimming the lights in your bedroom. ^{[7]
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- Slip your hand under his waistband and say something like, "Want to know what I'm thinking about right now?"
- Ask if he's interested in something steamy with a simple, "Want to join me in the shower?"
- Turn him on by opening up about your fantasies. Try saying, "I had this really hot dream the other night. Wanna hear about it?"

7

Let him know what you like during intimacy.

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Your partner wants to know that he can please you. When the two of you are having sex, let him know how much you’re enjoying yourself with a few sighs, moans, or whispered words. It’ll make him feel more confident, and you may feel sexier, too. ^{[8]
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- You can say something like, "I love it when you touch me like that" or "That feels really good."

8

Send him hot or romantic texts.

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Sweet texts are the digital version of giving him a little surprise. Reach out at any time during the day to let him know you can’t stop thinking about him. Describe how much he means to you, how much you miss him, and let him know you can’t wait to see him again. You can even send a good morning or goodnight text so he knows he’s the first and last thing on your mind. ^{[9]
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- Make sure he knows you support him with an encouraging message like, “You’re sexy AND smart—I’m so lucky to have you in my life and I know you’ve got this today!”
- Tell him when you miss him with a message like, “Thinking of you a little extra today. Wish I could 😚 you” or “I wish I could be in your arms right now.”
- Tease him a bit with a sexier text like, “I can’t wait for tonight 🥰” or “Thinking about that night in Portland. Maybe we can do that again? 😉”
- If you want, add a steamy pic to show him what he can look forward to. ^{[10]
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9

Give him your undivided attention.

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Put your phone on silent, try to avoid multitasking, and focus on your partner so he knows how much you love him. It’s easy to give in to the urge to check emails, texts, and all those other push notifications, but by really tuning into your guy, you can build an intense connection and let your natural chemistry shine. ^{[11]
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10

Write a list of things you like about him.

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Making a man feel sexy is about more than just his looks. When you can boost a guy’s self-esteem and show that you “get” him and love him for who he is, he’ll automatically feel sexier. Write down the top 5-10 things you like about him and slip him the note as a surprise during the day. Bring up his best personality traits and talk about the connection you share. ^{[12]
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- Let him know he’s the best dog co-parent, the world’s greatest frozen ravioli cook, or the best cuddler around.
- Point out the cute quirks you love about him, like the way he pronounces “caramel,” the nickname he came up with for you, or the adorable way he folds his socks.

11

Tell him you’re proud of him.

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Your partner wants to feel like you value his accomplishments. Celebrate his wins, and the next time you’re together, look into his eyes and just simply say, “I’m so proud of you.” If you think he’d be comfortable with more public recognition, brag about his accomplishments in front of your friends or family when he’s around. Or, post a gratitude message on social media expressing how much you’re thankful for him and everything he’s done. ^{[13]
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- “I think it’s pretty cool that I’m dating a guy who can fix his own car. I’m so proud of you, babe.”
- “I know you work really hard, and I’m so proud of the way you’ve worked your way up in the company.”
- “That was such a great game! I know you’re the MVP, but you’re my MVP too.”

12

Open up to him emotionally.

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It’ll make him feel good to know that you trust him and value his opinion. Talking about your emotions with your partner can boost your connection and make him feel like an important part of your life. Lean into emotionally intimate conversations and discuss your dreams, your values, or your most treasured memories. ^{[14]
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- Ask your partner, “What is your greatest fear?” or “What does your perfect day look like?” ^{[15]
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- A question as simple as “How was your day?” can open the door to an intimate conversation.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I win a man's heart?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Give him compliments about his physical fitness, career successes, or his charisma to make fim feel good.

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Question

Where exactly should you touch him?

Community Answer

You can touch him wherever feels natural, as long as he's comfortable with it, too. His stomach, neck, ears, and hair are all great places.

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What if the guy is shy?

Community Answer

If the guy is shy, you may have to start with subtler ways of making him feel sexy. Compliments, gentle touches, and eye contact are great ways to start. Make sure you communicate by asking him if he likes being touched in a certain way. You may want to avoid PDA.

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Tips

If you don’t feel comfortable trying out some of these steps, don’t worry. Everyone has their own way of making their partner feel sexy. Find what works for you.

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Be authentic. If you ever feel like you have to act like a different person to make your partner feel happy, that’s probably not a healthy relationship.

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Connell Barrett
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How to Make a Man Feel Sexy

Steps

Compliment the way he looks.

Gaze into his eyes.

Be physically affectionate.

Give him a massage.

Change up the way you kiss.

Be the one to initiate sex.

Let him know what you like during intimacy.

Send him hot or romantic texts.

Give him your undivided attention.

Write a list of things you like about him.

Tell him you’re proud of him.

Open up to him emotionally.

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Tips

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