How to Prove Workplace Bullying

Last Updated: March 25, 2024 Fact Checked

If a coworker or supervisor is bullying or harassing you at work, you're not to blame. This behavior is unwelcome, and most employers have policies against it. If the behavior is severe or pervasive, it may even be illegal. However, many of these cases can come down to a "he said, she said" situation that is difficult to prove – especially if the person bullying or harassing you is also your supervisor. Take action as soon as possible to document the behavior so everything is on the record. ^{[1]
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US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
U.S. government agency that enforces civil rights in the workplace
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Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Documenting the Behavior

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1
Start a log of events. If someone at work starts bullying or harassing you, keep a detailed and organized log of each of the incidents. You may be not even need more than one incident, depending on the severity, before you can take action. ^{[2]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
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- Incidents severe enough to warrant repercussions on their own include any physical abuse or intimidation, or verbal abuse that is blatantly racist or sexist.
- Smaller incidents may add up to a pattern of bullying or harassment. For example, a coworker may constantly make comments about how stupid you are, or how you are the reason sales are down. They may imply that you aren't qualified for your job, and that you only got your position because of your race or your gender.
- In your log, write down the date, time, and location of each occurrence. Then provide a brief, factual description of the events that occurred. Include as many specific details as possible – you may not remember them later, and your log can help refresh your recollection.
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Ask the person to stop. Legally, behavior must be "unwelcome" to be subject to any penalty. In some instances, it may be obvious that no one would welcome the behavior. In others, you may need to make it clear that you do not consent to the harassment or attention. ^{[3]
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US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
U.S. government agency that enforces civil rights in the workplace
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- If a coworker is sexually harassing you by constantly hitting on you, simply ignoring them won't make the problem go away and may not communicate the message to them. As long as you say nothing, they can argue that they thought you enjoyed the attention.
- For example, suppose a coworker continually leaves notes and small presents on your desk, and comments on your clothing each day. You might say "I'm not interested in any relationship with you outside of work, and your persistence won't change that.This kind of attention is unwelcome and makes me feel uncomfortable."
- It may be a good idea to put this communication in writing, just so you have a record of telling the person that their behavior is unwelcome. Send them an email through the company email system, and blind-copy a coworker or supervisor.
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3
Talk to witnesses. If someone is bullying you in the workplace, there are likely coworkers who have been in the same room or nearby and seen the behavior. You may even find out that the person has also been bullying others in the workplace.
- If a coworker witnessed an actual incident of bullying, ask them if they would be willing to go on the record with their story to support or corroborate yours.
- If witnesses tell you about others who have been bullied by the same person, talk to them to find out how they were treated and what happened as a result. Often people who resort to bullying tactics in the workplace have a pattern of treating multiple people the same way.
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Make copies or photographs of bullying communications. If the person who is bullying or harassing you sends you any emails, or leaves things in your workspace, take care to preserve them as evidence.
- Physical evidence is extremely valuable because so many of these disputes come down to one person's word against the other's. This is especially important if the person who is bullying or harassing you is a supervisor, or has worked for the company longer than you have and has a generally good reputation.
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Keep your log safe. Your description of the incidents that took place, as well as any physical evidence you're trying to be preserved, should be kept in a place that only you can access. This prevents it from being tampered with or destroyed. ^{[4]
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- Ideally, you want to keep copies of everything outside the workplace. You could keep them in a locked drawer of your desk, for example, but you may lose access to that space, and others may have a key.

Part 2

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Showing the Effects of the Behavior

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1
Talk to other employees. If the bullying is stressing you out, chances are it's affecting others around you as well. The person may be targeting others, or their treatment of you may make others feel uncomfortable or on edge.
- Often, other employees who are not being bullied may be afraid to speak out or come forward because they're afraid they will become a target. Try not to fault anyone for not saying something.
- When you talk to your coworkers, let them know that you will keep what they say in confidence – and follow through with that. Don't share what they've said with others unless they give you permission to do so.
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Talk to your friends and family. Your friends and family likely have noticed a change in you as a result of the stressful situation you're dealing with at work. Get some perspective from them on the ways that you've changed. They may notice things that you haven't.
- People who are around you a lot can tell when something's going on in your life. They may not have been able to put a finger on it until you talk to them. Or they may have been worried about you but didn't want to bring it up.
- Let them know that you're taking action to stop the bullying, and ask if you can count on their support. Your employer or others may want to talk to them about the ways the behavior has affected you.
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Visit a psychologist if you have emotional distress. A mental health provider can help you better deal with workplace bullying as well as finding the focus and confidence to take action to end the behavior. ^{[5]
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- There may be prescription drugs available, such as anti-anxiety medications, that can help you deal with the stress and keep it from impacting your life to the same extent.
- In the event you end up filing a complaint with a government agency or filing a lawsuit, the fact that you required mental health treatment as a result of the bullying will help show that the behavior had a significant impact on your health.
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Discuss stress with other health care providers. The stress of bullying can impact your health in many different ways. If you have regular check-ups or appointments while you're dealing with the situation, let them know that you're going through a lot of stress at work.
- Your health care provider may have suggestions on how you can cope with the situation in the meantime. For example, if you grind your teeth while you sleep, your dentist may be able to prescribe something to help you with that.

Part 3

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Reporting the Behavior

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1
Talk to an employment attorney before you file a formal complaint. Look for an attorney who specializes in cases of workplace bullying or workplace harassment. Most of these attorneys give a free initial consultation, so you can get advice on how to proceed before you go forward with reporting the behavior. ^{[6]
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StopBullying.gov
Website run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying
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- You may have no intention of filing a lawsuit. However, an attorney can help you understand the types of information you need to provide to your employer, and how you need to word your complaint.
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Check your company's employee handbook. If your company has an employee handbook, it likely includes information about the company's policy regarding workplace harassment. Read the policy carefully and follow the procedures found there. ^{[7]
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- Pay close attention to the wording used in your company's handbook describing prohibited conduct. It can be helpful if you repeat the same wording when you make your formal complaint.
- If there is a specific person listed that you are supposed to file complaints with, you should plan on talking to that person unless you feel uncomfortable with them or think there's some reason they wouldn't be fair regarding your complaint.
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Talk to someone in human resources. If your employer is large enough to have a human resources department, you'll typically begin the process of reporting workplace bullying or harassment there. Human resources staff will be able to explain and walk you through the process of filing a complaint.
- They also may be able to make changes that would ease the situation in the meantime. For example, they may be able to alter your schedule or temporarily transfer you to a different department so that you have fewer encounters with the person who is bullying or harassing you.
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Identify documents that support your claim. If you believe your employer has documents that could prove the workplace bullying is taking place, or that it is having an adverse effect on your employment, let them know specifically what those documents are. Don't attempt to retrieve them yourself if you're not normally allowed access to them.
- For example, if your workplace has security cameras, some of the incidents may have been captured on tape.
- Records from computers and copy machines, or workplace phone records, also may contain evidence that would support your claims.
5
Discuss the situation with a supervisor you trust. If there's a manager or other supervisor you feel comfortable with, it can help to talk to them before you file a formal complaint. They may be able to resolve the problem more quietly. ^{[8]
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- Having a supervisor behind you supporting you may also help ensure that your complaint gets taken more seriously.
- A supervisor also may be able to give you some tips on how to deal with upper management or how best to word your complaint.
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File a written complaint. If you get to the point where you want to file a formal complaint against the person who is bullying or harassing you, put it in writing. Carefully explain the situation and describe the incidents that have occurred. ^{[9]
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- Include as many details as possible, but stick to the facts. Focus on the person's behavior towards you, not anything about their personality or character.
- Depending on the size of your employer, there may be a specific form you're supposed to use.
- Typically, you must at least attempt to resolve the situation internally before you will be permitted to file a complaint with a government agency or file a lawsuit in court.
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Cooperate with the investigation. Once you file your formal complaint, your employer will investigate the situation. They typically will have at least one interview with you, and will review all of the evidence you've collected.
- After interviewing you, the person bullying you, and any other witnesses, your employer will determine how best to resolve the situation.
- If you aren't satisfied with your employer's treatment of the problem, you may be able to file a complaint with a government agency, or even file a lawsuit in federal court.
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Consult your attorney if you run into any problems. If you've already consulted an attorney, you may want to contact them as your employer investigates your complaint. If your employer refuses to investigate your complaint, contact an attorney immediately.
- Carefully document all of your efforts to make your employer aware of the situation. They face greater penalties and liability if they are aware of the bullying or harassment and do nothing to remedy the problem.