Q&A for How to Ask Your Girlfriend to Hold Hands

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Is there a right way I should hold my girlfriend's hand?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

There are a lot of different ways you can try. If you're walking, loosely hold their hand without squeezing too hard. If you're sitting next to each other, you can sandwich her hand between both of your hands to show your affection even more.

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Question

How do I let go without being rude?

Community Answer

Like the article said, you could easily give her/his hand a light squeeze and let go as a way of saying, "This was nice, but it's time to let go." Another way is to slowly but surely loosen your grip around his/her hand. When you loosen your grip, they will most likely do the same and you can let go.

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Question

If I slightly touch someone's hand, will they hold hands with me?

Community Answer

There's a good chance they will if they like you and/or if you're in a relationship with them. For example, your boyfriend would probably take that as a hint to hold your hand, but if you're sitting next to a friend and you do that, they'll probably just think you touched them on accident.

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Question

Is it okay to hold hands if we have only been dating for 2 days? Also, does this work with same sex relationships?

Community Answer

If you both feel comfortable, then it’s okay. There's no particular amount of time you must wait before holding hands. And yes, same sex relationships work just the same as opposite sex relationships.

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Question

How do I hold hands in class in secret?

Community Answer

At my school the desks were set up in pairs , so it was pretty easy to hold hands under the desks. If that isn’t an option, maybe try holding hands in the hallway.

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I have a crush on a girl (I'm lesbian and so is she), and I am going to ask her out, but I want to hold hands too. How can I do that - just walk to class or something and grab her hand?

Community Answer

Try to get someplace you can be alone. Maybe ask them out to a place that you and your friends would go to as friends. The movies are a great place because one, it’s dark and leads to privacy, so nobody would crash your party. Two, you're already engaged in an activity that doesn’t require movement, and three, if they don’t want to hold your hand, then they won’t make a scene about it.

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Question

What do I do if I'm too nervous to hold my girlfriend's hand?

Community Answer

You may find the tips in Stop Fearing Rejection helpful.

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Question

Should I hold hands if I'm nervous?

Community Answer

If you want to, then yes. Wait until you get comfortable. Try hugging more often to make you more comfortable around each other.

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Question

How can I start a conversation before telling her that I want to hold her hand?

Community Answer

Just start it like any other conversation you have had with her. It doesn't have to be about your relationship, it could just be like, "How was your day," etc. Then just ask if you can hold her hand.

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My boyfriend and I have been going out for a while. Every time I mention it, he brushes it off. Is it still okay to ask?

Community Answer

Sure, it's OK to ask, but if he continues to avoid the subject, he may not be ready to hold hands.

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Question

How do I ask my partner who doesn't have sweaty hands to let go of my hand?

Community Answer

Just slowly loosen your grip and let go, or squeeze their hand to signal to them that it’s “time to go” and let go.

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Question

What do I do if my girlfriend is getting along better with other boys?

Community Answer

Just have faith in your girlfriend that she won’t flirt or do inappropriate things with them. After all, she chose you to be her boyfriend (or partner) so you have to trust her.

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Question

How long do I need to date someone to hold hands?

Community Answer

It completely depends on the person. Some people are ready on day one, while others may not yet be ready after months of dating.

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