Q&A for How to Be a Feminist

Simply speak up and tell them why what they're saying is offensive to you (and presumably the other women). Don't get loud, don't point your finger in their face, etc. Calmly state your case. If you get too emotional, they will write you off as an "angry feminist" and not listen to anything you have to say.

You are a feminist if you believe in equality between sexes/genders. Your nationality and own gender do not matter. If you are at voting age, you could vote for feminist politicians (as long as you agree with their manifestos). In your friendship group, you could educate others about your views.

Start small. Work on loving yourself, building up your friends, respecting others' boundaries, and supporting people of all backgrounds. If someone says something unfair or mean, say "I'm surprised a nice person like you would say something like that." Try reading some feminist websites aimed at teens and tweens for more ideas.

Yes, you can. In fact, the only way to be a true feminist is to avoid sexism and fight for complete gender equality.

Sure, feminism has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Feminism is just about women and men having equal rights.

Explain them why you are a feminist and why the world needs feminism. If they then still think you are crazy, ignore them.

Of course you can; you just have to believe men and women have equal rights.

Real feminists do not believe they are better than men; they believe they are equal. Some people like to take things to extremes and are not reflective of the entire population. Saying "all feminists think they're better than men" is like saying that "all vegetarians will throw red paint on fur coats" because some extremists have done so. Beware of making blanket assumptions about people.

All people are equal regardless of gender. While people may joke that women are better, it's only a joke. In reality, we are all equal in dignity.

Wear funky accessories and shoes.

Participate and make yourself heard. Treat everyone with respect and dignity, and point out if this isn't happening. If the teacher is mainly calling on boys, or studying mainly male writers, ask them why. Stand up for victims of bullying, even if it's as simple as sitting with them at lunch or calling them over to talk to you when they're being bullied (so you can take them away from the bullies).

It depends on who the people are. If they are your friends, you should really consider why you are hanging out with them. You may even want to try to educate them about what feminism really is and encourage them to be more understanding and accepting of your identity. If they are just another group, don't listen to what they have to say. If they get a kick out of teasing you, that's their problem. If this teasing evolves into bullying though, tell a trusted adult.

Sure. There are some differences between men and women (on average; individuals can vary in all kinds of ways). However, you should (a) keep in mind that some of the differences between men and women are greatly shaped by society and not necessarily inherent, (b) acknowledge that everyone is an individual and not prejudge people on the basis of their gender, (c) not use gender differences as an excuse to deem one gender superior to the other.

You can be a feminist at any age. It's not a job title, it's a political stance.

Equality is for everyone! While feminism tends to focus on sexism, feminists also care about issues impacting men. Toxic masculinity (the expectation that men be super masculine even if it's unhealthy), equal paternity leave, routine infant circumcision, support for male victims, and other issues are all important to men, and are things feminists care about. We also care about men of color, disabled men, LGBT+ men, men in poverty, and more men who suffer oppression. True equality means that everyone is treated with equal respect and dignity. That includes men. And it's what feminists envision for the world.

Some women have been seriously hurt by men, and may be cautious or distrustful because they have met so many "bad apples." Let your words and actions communicate that you are well-meaning, trustworthy, and here to listen. Acknowledge that they're the ones with personal experience here, and say things like "I don't know how to word this" or "I'm confused and want to understand" to show that any missteps come out of ignorance, not ill intent. It may be useful to look up Feminism 101 sites and ask feminist bloggers, so that your friends don't need to constantly explain sexism and other downers to you. See who is willing and able to help, research independently, and good luck!

Some people might, because some people are closed-minded idiots who believe in stereotypes, but who cares what those people think?

You can support your religion while supporting feminism. They are not mutually exclusive.

Yes, you can.

You can’t control people, but you can ask them to stop. If after multiple times it doesn’t stop, you may want to consider discussing it with someone else for help.

You can be a feminist and dislike abortion, as well as express your opinions on it. However, remember that feminism is about giving everyone equal rights - and therefore, a pregnant person should have the right to choose what they do about their body and pregnancy. Preventing someone from getting an abortion, harassing or belittling those who have had abortions, or generally forcing your opinion about abortion (or any other controversial issue) onto others is not something a feminist would do. You can choose not to have an abortion, but as a feminist, you shouldn't prevent others from having one just because you're against them.

Explain to them that this is largely the result of the way girls/boys are educated and socialized differently from one another at an early age. Little boys are taught the importance of logic and parents/teachers have higher expectations of them when it comes to something like performance in math. Girls are taught to be imaginative, creative, and empathetic. Girls are called on less frequently in math and science classes and they are not encouraged as much as boys are. There are statistics to back all of this up. If you don't feel like explaining all of this to your teacher, just tell the principal what they said, because it's almost certainly against school policy to make a statement like that.

Ask yourself who these "extremist" feminists are. What do they do? What do they advocate? Can you actually find one? Feminists who actually believe in extreme things (e.g. "men are pigs," "straight white males have no problems") are extraordinarily hard to find, and most of them are either troll blogs, or young people who don't know what they're talking about. Ask yourself: are these a socially significant group, or are you just trying to signal to bigots that they have nothing to fear from you? Is this self-protection? Is it an attempt to avoid being identified as a feminist due to stigma? Look at your goals, and weigh the advantages and disadvantages of telling people you're a feminist. Sometimes, you have to choose between comfort/safety and empowerment. This is your choice to make, and we won't try to make it for you. Just do your best.

Maybe one day!

No. That's ridiculous. Equality means equality for everyone.

Ask yourself why you want to be with a boyfriend who doesn't feel women should be treated with equality. Or he may think feminism is something other than what it is, so ask him about his thoughts.

Feminists, in general, don't hate men. They hate sexism, so if a man is being sexist, they might be pretty upset with him! But most of us love our fathers, brothers, sons, male friends, boyfriends, or other good men in our lives. We also care about men's issues, like paternity leave, support for male abuse victims, routine infant circumcision, and more. Feminists believe all people have equal worth and deserve respect. People who say that they "hate men" are usually people who have had awful experiences with really bad men, and thus might have a hard time trusting men. You are welcome to avoid those people if you aren't comfortable with them.

Yes, sure. Anyone can be a feminist and support equality, it's perfectly fine if you're emo.

You really can't end a stereotype all on your own, and being a feminist (unfortunately) involves dealing with a lot of negative stereotypes. All you have to do is be yourself. Some feminists come across as "mean" because they have strong beliefs and they stand up for them vocally. Doing so is not mean as long you're respectful about it.

Of course! That is the only way to be a true feminist.