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Q&A for How to Become a Pastafarian
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QuestionAre we allowed to eat noodles?Community AnswerOf course enlightened one! His noodlyness, the spaghettideity, has given us the gift of many cheap brands of tasty noodles to devour! It would be blasphemy not to accept this truly kind offer.
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QuestionI have celiac disease, meaning that I cannot eat regular pasta or drink regular beer. Why has his noodlyness forsaken me so?Community AnswerThou art not forsaken. There are gluten free pasta and beer options aplenty. Avail ye of them and relish the noodley goodness of diversity.
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QuestionHow does the FSM feel about people in the LGBTQ+ community?Community Answer"Since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes." -From the official FSM website.
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QuestionCan I eat alphabetical pasta?!?!CyfyguyCommunity AnswerDo you mean in alphabetical order like Acini De Pepe, Bucatini, Cirioli, Ditalini, etc. or pasta shaped like letters? That's a trick question because His Boiled Blessedness cares not! All pasta is delightful in His eyes.
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QuestionI do not enjoy the taste of beer, nor what it does to people's contours and behavior; how do I spread the Word of Water? Root beer is tasty but also turns six-pack abs into kegs.CyfyguyCommunity AnswerThe Titan of Tortellini delights in the use of your imagination in your personal celebration. Try a root beer scented car freshener, or an 8X10 framed photograph of "Norm" from "Cheers." The possibilities are endless.
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QuestionCan I be a vegetarian?Community AnswerHis noodly goodness loves all. Omnivore and Herbivore alike. There are many like you. And pasta is vegetarian so bathe in his glorious gifts!
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QuestionCan you define noodley appendage?Community AnswerHis majesty, FSM, has a noodle appendage much as a strand of spaghetti. It was used to help him create the worlds and spin them to create life, and with life, love, and from love we came to know pasta, and with knowledge of pasta, we became aware of our beloved creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. FSM's appendage is roughly like his arm, which he uses to create delightful pasta creations such as ravioli and other pasta-y goodness. Ramen.
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QuestionIs the song "Ramen King" by Pink Guy considered a hymn?Community AnswerYes. Some say it was played as he created the universe.
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QuestionAm I alllowed to eat tacos?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerWho's stopping you my macaroni amigo? The Sultan of Spaghetti does not ask us to dine exclusively on his Noodle Blessings. By the way...have you ever tried spaghetti tacos? Yum!
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QuestionIs FSM bitter rivals with Cthulhu? And is eating ravioli okay?Community AnswerThe FSM doesn't really care too much about what other deities think of him. And yes, eating ravioli is perfectly fine! Enjoy his noodley gifts!
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QuestionI am gluten free. How do I eat pasta for his noodlyness?Community AnswerUse gluten-free pasta. And if pasta isn't your thing, you don't need to eat it if you don't want to. Just do you and go in noodly peace.
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QuestionDo you have to eat noodles plain?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerThe Boss of Sauce encourages us to seek delight in our pasta celebration. Whether it's butter, garlic, marinara or alfredo, it's all good.
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QuestionI am a wench, and not into other wenches. What is/are my alternative(s)?Community AnswerAs stated in the Tips section -- grog, wenches, and pasta are all options and not necessary. Just do you and bathe in his noodly goodness.
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QuestionWhat do I drink if I'm not of legal age to consume alcohol? Root beer?Community AnswerYes, our beloved creator the FSM encourages our young followers to drink any drink with 'beer' in the name.
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QuestionAre some noodles or sauces more acceptable than others? For example, are rice noodles okay?Community AnswerOf course some noodles and sauces are better than others. How would evolution work if they were all the same - that would be creationism! Heresy.
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QuestionI don't like how beer tastes -- is the FSM going to get mad at me?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerHe of the Gravy Goodness delights in the consumption of root beer, ginger beer, birch beer. All versions of beer -- diet, caffeine free, etc. are wondrous in His eyes.
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QuestionShould I take caution when praying to FSM in public? I don't want to be offensive.Community AnswerTo pray to Our Holy Glob is no more offensive than to pray to any other deity. If you are afraid your prayer will be "offensive", you can always pray within the confines of your mind. If your prayer is strong, Our Holy Glob will hear.
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QuestionI can't wear my strainer in school. What should I do?Community AnswerExplain to your administrator's that it's part of your religious culture. That might encourage them to change their minds. (Having your parents speak on your behalf, if possible, could help too.)
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QuestionWhat is your stance on practicing nudity?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerMy interpretation is that He of the Pasta Proclivity believes that nudity requires little practice. Does it make you happy? Can you do it without offending or oppressing others?
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QuestionDoes the FSM believe in non-binary genders?Community AnswerAll are equal in the eyes of his noodlyness, regardless of gender.
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QuestionShould I wear a strainer or dress like a pirate?Community AnswerIdeally, you'd wear a strainer while dressed like a pirate. But the supreme noodly one loves you either way!
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QuestionHow can I find a colander that fits my head?Community AnswerA website like Amazon usually includes dimensions from the manufacturer. Once you've measured your hat size, the right colander is only a few clicks away from helping you abide your spiritual path.
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QuestionIs there a right and wrong way to eat pasta, like twirled on a fork or slurped up strand by strand?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerTrying to eat pasta with your elbow is not entirely effective, so I suppose that technically, yes, there is a wrong way to go about it. But the Lieutenant of Lasagna pines for the peace and understanding that comes from acceptance and diversity. So you do you. That being said, He also doesn't want your Mom to be mad at Him because you're making a scene at Carmello's by stuffing your side order of angel hair into your pie hole with both hands, so be cool about it.
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QuestionAre meatballs as holy as his gift of noodles?Community AnswerYes, but there must not be as much meatballs as noodles, as is the same with his noodlyness.
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QuestionDo I have to be of a certain age in order to become a Pastafarian?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerOf course! There are "Followers" and then there are "Puppets." FSM wants the former. You have to be old enough to decide what you believe in on your own based on independent thought (If you are gobbling the garganelli in celebration of He of the Starchy Strainer ONLY because someone ELSE has told you that's what you believe since you were a wee little Seme di Melone, then you are squarely part of the population of the latter). Depending on the Law of the Land, you might have to lay off the Old Style as well. Grab a ginger beer instead. Yum!
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QuestionHow do I become a minister in the church?Community AnswerTo become a minister in pastafarianism you must go to the official website to register and pay a fee.
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QuestionAre there male strippers in the afterlife?Community AnswerYes! The afterlife is not sexist, and it accepts all kinds of strippers! FSM would never prevent anyone from being blessed with the strippers of their preference!
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QuestionDoes the FSM have any objections to the construction of a personal shrine/safe place dedicated to the FSM in which a Pastafrian may worship the FMS as long as it is low cost/free to construct?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerIf what you do makes you happy while simultaneously not making anyone else sad, the Archduke of Angel Hair has no objection...assuming you honor the low cost caveats.
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QuestionIf I become a Pastafarian, will I be made to walk the plank and die a watery death if I ever decide to leave the religion?CyfyguyCommunity AnswerThe Viceroy of Vermicelli tells us that He would "Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others."
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QuestionI am a Pastafarian but everyone thinks I'm joking. How do I convince them I am part of a true religion and need to be accepted for who I am?JunglepigCommunity AnswerThe very fact that you are mocked for your beliefs is evidence that Pastafarianism is a "true" religion. Ask any Christian and they'll tell you that persecution of Christians for their faith is as old as the faith itself. You are simply in on the ground floor with Pastafarianism. Rejoice when others persecute you for your faith. It's not important to convince anyone else (except public officials, like at the DMV). Let your fun, friendly, pirate-like joy be your witness. If asked, say you're a Pastafarian. Perhaps share the Gospel if others are truly interested.
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