Q&A for How to Behave Well at Home

You maintain discipline by being consistent. State your expectations clearly. Let your students clearly know how you expect them to behave. Be sure to build in a reward system for students from time to time.

Become more objective about your own behavior. Ask for feedback from family and close friends. Try journaling about situations as they occur. Before you can change the behavior you first have to acknowledge behaviors you might benefit from changing.

You become more mature by learning from your mistakes. It doesn't mean never making any mistakes in the first place! The next time you run into the same situation or set of circumstances, alter how you react. You also become more mature by stopping and thinking things through before reacting.

In school, it is a good idea to be courteous and follow the basic rules. Listen to the expectations in your classes, ask questions when things are unclear, and stop any behaviors you have been asked to stop. Be sure to apologize if you broke any rules or were disrespectful.

One of the best ways to talk more with your kids is to be truly interested in what they love. If it’s hard for you to be interested in their favorite thing, explore it a bit on your own to find something you can appreciate about it. They will talk to you about it if they feel you are truly interested and not just “trying to get them to talk.”

All kids need you to be clear and direct when you ask them to do something. Say “Please put your shoes on,” not, “Hey, it’s time to go, don’t you think you should have your shoes on by now?” Also, be sure your consequence system has a clear and definite structure, so you can be consistent in your use of consequences. Avoid being mean, hurtful, or punitive when disciplining.

Re-building trust takes time. A lot depends on how many times that trust has previously been broken. So, don't expect anything too quickly. Most of the work has to be on your end. Begin by abiding by all the rules of the household for a good number of weeks. You have to establish a new baseline of responsibility and trust. After some time has passed, and your behavior has changed, approach your parent(s) for a conversation.

This one is tough! But step back and take some time to assess if this is really the case. How are you about listening and obeying? Are your requests running against the family rules that are in place? Do you just ask and don't contribute to the household? And remember, all parents aren't created equal! Some listen better than others, but you can influence that some by cooperating. Best of luck!