Q&A for How to Break off an Engagement

This can be really difficult to figure out, but you want to look out for red flags. If they're always trash talking their exes or they seem really resentful, it could be a sign that they aren't mature enough to be married. Another sign could be if they're always talking about themselves. If you're worried about dog being sick and they turn around and start talking about a dog they had growing up, that's a bad sign. A lot of this comes down to your gut, though. If you're thinking about breaking up with your fiance, it's definitely a sign you aren't ready to get married, though. At bare minimum, push the wedding back while you evaluate your feelings.

This will be difficult, but if you don't want to marry this person, you must let her know this before it's too late. Explain that you are not ready for marriage and need to be on your own to figure some things out. She will not want to accept this, but it is for her own good that she not be married to a person who does not love her. She will understand it eventually.

If you're sure about this, it's best to just tell your fiance, "I can't marry you because I still have feelings for someone else." Be honest and direct. If you think you'd like to try to make things work with your fiance, tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to get a job immediately or the engagement is off.

Think back to your reasons of accepting the engagement, it's not the same level of decision as what to have for dinner tonight. You also still loved your ex when you made this decision. If we can't choose between two partners, the best choice is usually neither of them. But that's up to you. A big red flag is the pressure, it may likely never stop even if you do quit smoking. He may just learn that he can mold you into the person he'd like, plus it robs you of the chance to quit smoking on your own accord. No one can ever force anyone to do anything; those who try will end up disillusioned.

You should try talking to him about this first. Maybe he just has really bad jitters about the wedding? Tell him that you don't appreciate the way he's been talking to you lately, and that it's making you feel like you shouldn't be getting married to him. Ask him to go to couple's counseling to work on this issue. If he doesn't apologize and agree to go to counseling, break off the engagement.

If you're truly unhappy, let nothing stand in your way to end the engagement; in truth, it sounds like you're letting your (un)happiness have too much of an effect on your long-term decisions. Whether her parent is sick is irrelevant to how you feel, as is her being emotional. You're not stuck at all, simply end it if you want to end it.

if he wants to get married and he really loves you, then he should understand and help you through it. You are being honest and self-reflective about your preparedness for marriage and if he cannot appreciate that, then he isn't ready either. Don't let him force you into something you'll later regret, life is too short, youth even shorter.

Maybe you both are too young or are just stressed with whatever else is happening in the background in both your lives. If after making effort, everything still goes wrong yet you feel there's hope, then there may be hope. You both need me time to grow and become stronger so you can shoulder the heavy responsibility of marriage. Try getting some counseling together to work through your issues. It is better to work out compatibility before marrying than to find you don't get along after marriage.

With time, the person's real intentions and issues reveal themselves. These issues need to be addressed first before you are sure whether you want to leave, so you can gain closure. Try to talk to her about it, keep it civil, and be honest about your feelings. Tell her that you cannot wait around any longer and need to know an answer.

Now that he knows you've paid for so many things without him contributing or shouldering half of it, he may want to have it all as time goes by too. If you see him striving to earn well, he may have bigger plans. If he seems to dodge his responsibility, you may be getting married to someone who will just sit and eat and expect you to do all the financial work. Is that what you want? Discuss your feelings with him; his true colors are showing and this is a warning to you.

It depends on you. If that someone isn't offering to help raise and support your fiancee, then it would be up to you to help her (if you can forgive her). You'll need to talk to her about the possibilities and how this infidelity has hurt and affected you, and then discuss what you two as a couple are going to be. If you no longer feel the relationship is one you have faith in, then it would probably be best for you to break off the engagement and start over.

Talk to your fiancé about your concerns. You might be able to work out something else. Otherwise, you may end up having to break things off.