Q&A for How to Deal with Hypocrites

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Question

Should you confront a hypocrite?

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Hyungbum Kang is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of experience, Hyungbum specializes in using an integrated therapeutic approach to treat ADHD, anger management, depression, and other mental health and social work struggles. He received a Bachelor’s degree in English and Master’s degrees in Sociology and Social Work. Hyungbum earned an MBA from Hawaii Pacific University (HPU) and is working on his Doctor of Psychology from HPU. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Honor Society in Psychology, the National Association of Social Workers, and the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals.

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Expert Answer

It's usually better to keep your distance, especially if the situation isn't that serious.

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Question

How do I confront a hypocrite that I have no power over? This is the type that has the power to literally destroy my life. I'ts really bothering me, and I cant take it much longer.

Community Answer

You know that this person isn't good for you or others, so it's best to avoid the person. If you're not in a position to avoid the person, limit your contact to the basics. Just remember that you can't control how the person acts, but you can control how you respond.

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Question

My friend is constantly a hypocrite about certain things, and my friends and I have confronted her about it many times, but nothing works. Is there anything anyone can suggest?

Community Answer

You might want to try having an adult talk to her. School counselors are great for mediating conflicts between groups of friends like this. If that doesn't work, you might want to just start distancing yourself from her.

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Question

What should I do if a church member has told someone something about my past that isn't true? How do I approach that person?

Community Answer

Calmly confront them and tell them to stop spreading misinformation about you. Tell them you don't appreciate it, and that God would not approve. If it continues, just ignore them. Be the bigger person.

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Question

When a so called friend talks about someone then goes and tells them what you said and then sides with them, is this hypocritical?

Community Answer

Yes, this is hypocritical. But it's also gossip and it's a way to manipulate you and other people, so this isn't a good friend, in fact it's not a friendship. Tell this person they've played you one time too many and you're no longer going to spend time with them. Then it's time to find a new friend or two.

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Question

My friend is living with a man she is not married to and she is always commenting about praying for someone. However, she doesn’t go to church, and she isn't in a Bible study.

Kathleen Eveness

Community Answer

Maybe she has fallen away from the church. Pray for her, and her well being. She might be going through a lot. You can also try to invite her to your church.

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Question

Some hypocrites ganged up against me and told on me for what everyone does and accused me of certain things they do themselves. Now everyone thinks I'm a bad person because they are hypocrites, help.

Adriana Galindo

Community Answer

Just be you and walk away people like that aren't worth being friends with.

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Question

My dad is an extreme hypocrite, I point it out to him every day when we argue, since he loves to argue with me. He says a bunch of bullsh*t and contradicts himself several times. How do I deal with him?

Community Answer

Nod, smile politely, ignore him, let it go in one ear and out the other, then go have fun. It's not worth getting bothered about. You can make your own mind up about everything without having to antagonize him. Although, it can't hurt once in a while to point out that: "But you just said X and now you're saying Y. Wow dad, I am so confused by your stories!" and leave it that with a big smirk on your face.

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Question

What if this hypocrite I'm dealing with is either of my parents (or both)?

Amanda White

Community Answer

Tolerance, patience, love and understanding. Sometimes our parents are screwed up from their upbringing. Break the pattern in your generation and learn from them and not copy. It'll make you a very well-balanced adult.

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Question

My only friend ditches me for her boyfriend, but I do it to her and she gets mad. What should I do?

Belle K.

Top Answerer

Talk it out with her; anger just leads to more anger. Consider setting up double dates so you both can hang out with each other and your partners.

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Question

I am in love with a divorced man. I try but cannot forget him. What should I do?

Community Answer

For your sake, let go. Try this forgetting ritual: Write down his name and details about him on a paper, then crumple it up, rip it to shreds, put it through the shredder, crumple it some more, and drive to a nearby dumpster and rip it up and throw it in there. All done and dusted!

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