Q&A for How to Deal with a Narcissist

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  • Question
    Can a narcissist fall in love?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    They are usually in love with themselves, or at least first with themselves and then you—particularly to the extent that you feed their ego. You become less interesting when you slow down the ego-feeding. The love will not be unconditional; it will be a limited love.
  • Question
    Can narcissism be cured?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    The edges around a narcissist can be softened. Group therapy might be the most effective. However, couples therapy might also be useful because the objectivity of the therapist may cut through some of the narcissism. If a person is willing to work through their childhood issues, good progress can be achieved.
  • Question
    How do you control a narcissist?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You really can't, but you may be able to manipulate them knowing their vulnerabilities. You can make them think something was their idea, or you can identify some way they also can benefit from something you want to do or somewhere you want to go.
  • Question
    Do narcissists know they are narcissists?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    This varies. Some may be aware of or have been made aware of their tendencies. Others are so wrapped up in self-admiration that they are only aware of their own superiority as a fact. Typically, they do not have self-awareness.
  • Question
    What happens when the relationship ends and the narcissist realizes you got the upper hand in property and money? I was married for 17 years and he remarried 6 weeks after our divorce.
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    What happens is exactly what your ex did. They usually find another person to latch onto.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a narcissistic professor?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    This one is tough because it is a power relationship. You might have just have to 'grin and bear it' until the end of the semester. Re-read this Wikihow article for small tips on how to make it through!
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