Q&A for How to Drop Hints That You're LGBT

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Question

How do you come out to someone?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

If you don't feel comfortable just saying it directly, you can use a lot of hints, make comments about a gay celebrity you admire, or speak about an LBGT issue.

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Question

How do I come out to my family?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

This can be difficult depending on your family members' beliefs, values, or religious orientation. Sometimes parents guess way before their kids formally come out. Pick a quiet moment and talk with one member of your family at a time. Be open, direct, and clear.

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Question

How do you drop hints that you like a guy?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Make eye contact and compliment him on clothes, his eyes, or something else personal. Act a little flirtatious and see if there is a pickup or response.

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Question

I am bisexual and want to come out to my mother. My mom is bisexual too, but for some reason I'm scared and don't know how to tell her. What can I do?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You are halfway there. Your Mom might just understand given her own identity. However, keep in mind that it is always hard to tell our parents anything that we think they might not approve of.

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Question

I am not ready to come out to my mom but I'm afraid I'm going to be forced to pretty soon. I don't know how to tell her because she's very religious. How do I tell her without shocking her too much?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

I am not sure that it will be possible to not shock her--unless she has already guessed. But ask yourself, how you feel about not telling her? A lot of parents find a way to reconcile their own beliefs when their own children are involved. But as a Plan B, you may want to arrange someplace to go for a few days after you tell your mom if it goes badly.

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