Q&A for How to Find Out a Person's Gender

Not necessarily, but you don't have to ask a person what pronouns they use. Sometimes, it may be better to just offer your pronouns and leave it there so they can decide whether or not they want to share.

You may just want to offer your pronouns first and see if the other person responds with theirs. Sometimes people unconsciously ask specific people about their pronouns and not others, which can be discriminatory, so offering your pronouns and leaving it up to the other person to share may be best. Try to avoid referring to them as their "preferred" pronouns since you don't want to imply that their pronouns aren't legitimate.

Just ask. Be sure to ask them privately so they feel confident answering and won't be embarrassed. If you find out they're transgender, discuss what pronouns to use in different situations to avoid outing them.

If someone is being disrespectful on purpose, you might want to just save your breath. They know they're being disrespectful and they don't care. If someone simply makes in ignorant comment, just speak up and correct them. Don't try to make them feel ashamed, just say what needs to be said and move on.

They could be either gender. Women can have male sounding names.

No. According to the CIA World Factbook, as of 2014, there are approximately 1.014 men for every 1 woman on Earth, making boys slightly more populous than girls. But it's really almost even.

You can't without asking, and unless you're in a relationship or intending to be in a relationship with that person, it isn't really any of your business.

If by "not actually existing" you mean nonbinary, accept that they have different beliefs about gender and move on. If you are trying to befriend them, learn more about the gender they identify as, as well as genderfluidity, and treat them like you would anyone else.

Usually someone will tell you they are genderfluid, so don't make the assumption that they are unless they tell you themselves.

No, there are more than 2 genders. In most LGBT communities, especially to Transgender people, it is considered highly disrespectful to "assume genders." Instead of assuming, just ask politely, "what gender do you identify as?" when the time is right/appropriate. Never just ask or assume. You are thinking of the two biological sexes of male/female. Biological sex and gender are not the same thing.

Yes, of course.

Gender is a spectrum - anyone can identify as anything they like. If someone says they're a demi-girl, then that's what they are.

While "male" and "female" are the most common genders, there are many more possibilities. From the hijras of South Asia to the bakla in the Philippines to the winkte of the Lakota tribe in the US, many different cultures recognize genders beyond the binary. (PBS has a map if you're curious.) Today, some of the gender-related words you may hear include agender, genderfluid, demigirl, demiboy, genderqueer, gendervague, and many others. Gender is a nebulous concept, so nobody has really tried to count. Just like there are many different sexes (such as XY, XX, XXY, X, XXX, etc.), there are many different possible genders.

Gender is a personal subject, so there's no 100% guaranteed way to avoid offending someone. (For example, some conservatives get angry if you ask for pronouns.) It helps if you do your best to be polite, and to share your own gender too. For example, saying "I'm a woman and my pronouns are she and her. And you?" is better than a simple "what are you?" Use a polite tone of voice, and be kind.

Gender and biological sex are a little different. Most people with XY chromosomes are male and most people with XX chromosomes are female. However, some people are intersex, and might have combinations like XXX, XXY, X, or something else. They could be of any gender. There are also no guarantees that someone with XY chromosomes is a man, or that someone with XX chromosomes is a woman. For example, some people with XY chromosomes have a condition called Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, and those people are usually female. There are also transgender and nonbinary people, whose assigned sex doesn't match their gender. You can read scientific articles on intersex and transgender people for more information. Basically, chromosomes don't always correspond to gender.

You need to tell them if they are misgendering you. Say, "I am (your name) and my pronouns are (whatever your pronouns are). I feel uncomfortable when you don't use my current pronouns. Please use the pronouns that I've just introduced." If you're talking about random strangers, all you can really do is make your best effort at passing. Even cis people get misgendered sometimes.

Just tell them. If the person that they're referring to is present in the conversation, they'll usually correct the person. If the referred-to person is absent, simply tell them nicely, "(Name) likes to be referred to as a (he/she/they), just thought it'd help you to know that."

The term is gynephilia/gynesexual, it is the attraction to women or femininity.

You should probably just refer to them as they/them instead of he/him or she/her. Or you can ask for their pronouns if you want.

In an online chat room, your best bet is to ask them what their gender is, politely.