Q&A for How to Handle Your Child's Temper Tantrum

As a parent, it's not your job to prevent them from having sad feelings. Your job is to facilitate a safe environment where they can feel upset and frustrated and learn to navigate those feelings. You don't need to protect them from experiencing those totally normal human feelings in the first place.

Yes—all that does is teach your child that throwing a tantrum is a really good way to get what they want. Then they'll be more likely to do it next time.

This is harmless. Unless he's been doing this for many months, it is probably just a stage. He will grow out of it once he finds another way to get attention.

Children are sometimes so smart that we forget they're still learning. Perhaps your daughter doesn't understand why she could not wear her hat if she likes it. Her reasons might be more humane than superficial but she might simply not know yet how to express it. As an end result, doing what usually worked to get attention might be her only way out. Learn to ask her why it matters next time and be patient as she explains. You also mention screaming at her; this is role modeling behavior that she thinks is an acceptable way to relate. Do your best to stay calm as you consistently state what she must do or not do. Don't teach her it's okay to lose it. See a counselor if you can't do this alone.

That varies greatly from child to child. It may take months.

Try to talk and tell them they need to go into quiet time. Then, separate them and find out what was the problem. It may be they both need a nap, or they are hungry. Keeping a journal would be a great idea to see what might be the cause of the fits.

Always keep calm and avoid certain complications. For instance, if you think your child is about to have a tantrum, quickly distract them.

Yes, but it would probably only work if it was an older child trying to handle a younger sibling's tantrum.

Yes, they're still quite young and still learning. It should slowly become less frequent.

Some children grow out of their temper tantrums; try giving it a little more time. If time does not resolve this, consider putting the child in time out; eventually, he or she will learn that tantrums do not get you what you want. Lastly, you can also try sympathizing with your child. Let him or her know that you care about the problem, but that you cannot fix it right at that moment.

They might be annoyed that someone other than a parent is looking after them and telling them what to do.

Go to a doctor. These may be signs of autism or mental illness.

Tell him that if he wants to throw a fit, he needs to go to his room to do it. You could also tell him he can be as mad as he wants to be, but not if he invades your space to do it. Tell him he can come out of his room only when he is better.

If you are a caregiver, discuss the issue with the child's parents. They can tell you what procedure they would like you to follow to deal with their child's tantrum.

Yes. It's part of the process of growing up to desire space and independence and to struggle with your parents to get it. Be sure you make your wishes known to them in a respectful way, so as you avoid unnecessary conflict.

It depends on the age, but occasional temper tantrums may be normal. You can consult a doctor if you are concerned about it.

You may want to talk to your parents about finding a doctor that can help you learn to manage your anger properly. It can be hard to learn how to express anger without lashing out, but you can do it.

I would suggest going to a quiet place and taking a few minutes to just focus on your breathing and think of happy things. Try to calm yourself down by breathing in and out deeply and slowly.

A child throwing a tantrum is extremely common. Every parent experiences it dozens of times!

Take electronics and other toys away from them and give them some affection. Most parents are busy and can't spend time with their children. Most children can't live without electronics. Be kind when telling them the rules and what they can and can't do.

Try grabbing her hands gently and politely telling her to stop.

Try to press their arms to their body as if you're hugging them tightly. This won't hurt them, but it will stop them from hurting you or themselves. If you can't do that, then at least try to grab their wrists and just hold them still.

Yes. Everyone matures at their own pace, and she may be upset about things you don't know about.

Yes. Everyone matures at their own pace.

Most kids will throw tantrums at some point. If it's constant and for no apparent reason, talk to a doctor.

It's not unheard of, but children generally are a little more mature by that age. It really depends on the way the child was raised and whether or not he/she has any developmental issues, etc. If it's a regular occurrence, the child might need counseling.

No, it's not. When you feel a tantrum coming on, try to focus on how you feel in the moment. Do you feel frustrated? Angry? Disrespected? Putting a name to your feelings can help you process them better. After figuring out how you feel, consider why you feel that way. Then, before reacting, count to ten slowly and take a few deep breaths. This can help calm you down before you fly into a tantrum. Finally, react to the situation. Talk to the person who is making you feel bad and explain to them how you feel and why. Then you can discuss the situation instead of escalating it.

If your child screams, tell them you always love them, and try to do something they enjoy, such as reading a favorite book together.

Occasional spanking is effective for some children who do not respond to milder forms of discipline. See this article for tips on how to spank effectively: how to include spanking in child discipline .

A temper tantrum is never okay, but because children are still learning, we don't judge them for it.