Q&A for How to Have a Secret Relationship With Someone

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How can I maintain a secret relationship in school?

Community Answer

Don’t tell your friends about it. You might want to tell them, but this is how these things usually get out. Try not to have much physical contact with the person when you are around other people. If you need to keep it secret from your parents, make sure to erase their messages on your phone.

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Question

How do I make my secret relationship a happy one?

Community Answer

If you want it to be a happy one, you should hang out together in places no one you know will go: perhaps a theme park (there are lots of people there), a restaurant on the outskirts of town, or go walking along a far beach.

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Question

My boyfriend and I are long distancing since I moved out of state, and my parents don't know. Is there any way that we can keep it a secret for longer, even though my parents look at my phone a lot?

Community Answer

I am in that exact situation and I just delete the text messages and phone calls, or just tell them it's a close friend. It's not a lie, because your boyfriend is your close friend.

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Question

My boyfriend's mother saw photos that I posted of him that she didn't like, and told him not to see me again. What should I do?

Community Answer

See if his mother would be willing to talk to you about. Try to find out what she objected to about the pictures and apologize for posting them.

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Question

If people already suspect I am in a relationship, how can I divert their suspicions?

Community Answer

You could go on dates with other people, or at least say that you are. You should understand, however, that it is very hard on a relationship to have to be kept a secret. If at all possible, find a way to bring it out into the open.

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Question

What do I do if someone finds out about my secret relationship?

Community Answer

Ask them to keep it to themselves and not tell anyone. If you don't think you can trust the person, it's better to just be honest with everyone so they don't end up hearing about it from someone else.

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Question

How do I avoid telling my parents that I'm living with my boyfriend?

Community Answer

Tell them you're just living with a friend to save money on rent and utilities.

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Question

How can I deny that we are in a relationship if we've already been caught?

Community Answer

Either say that you're just close friends with the person, or that you were together before but you broke up.

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Question

How do I talk to my significant other about being just friends without them becoming offended?

Community Answer

Be honest with them. If you don't think they are the one, then tell them. They will appreciate it more than having their time wasted on a hopeless relationship. However, be nice and let them know that you're not breaking up with them because there is something wrong with them, but because you think you are better suited to being friends.

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Question

My mother and brother have seen a picture of me with someone I was told not to talk to because he is "not a good person." What can I do?

Community Answer

Tell them that the picture was taken before you were warned to not talk to him. Also, if you message him, rename him as something else in your phone, and delete the messages when you're done just to be safe.

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Question

How do I have a secret relationship that's long distance?

Community Answer

This can be tough. If your video chat/phone call, do it in private where you know you will not be disrupted, like you room, or you could go for a walk. When texting, don’t make it obvious that you and your partner are dating. But don’t keep it a secret forever.

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Question

How can you keep a relationship with your (former?) best friend a secret? We have to do this for our safety since we're both guys and don't have very openminded parents.

Nayner

Community Answer

Do is not tell anyone. The only people who could know are people online you don't know. Consider also not even telling mutual friends, so they do not say anything to anyone. And asit said in the article, delete any text massages and calls.

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