Q&A for How to Hold Back Tears

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  • Question
    How can I avoid crying when I run into the person that hurt me?
    Marsha Durkin, RN
    Registered Nurse
    Marsha Durkin is a Registered Nurse based in Waukegan, Illinois. With over 15 years of professional experience, she works both as a nurse and a Laboratory Information Specialist for Insight Hospital and Medical Center. Marsha received her Associate's Degree in Nursing from Olney Central College in 1987.
    Registered Nurse
    Expert Answer
    Try using positive self-talk to calm yourself down. Practice this at home so that you will be prepared to think positive thoughts when you see the person. It will uplift and support you when you need it most.
  • Question
    Why do I cry when I'm mad?
    Marsha Durkin, RN
    Registered Nurse
    Marsha Durkin is a Registered Nurse based in Waukegan, Illinois. With over 15 years of professional experience, she works both as a nurse and a Laboratory Information Specialist for Insight Hospital and Medical Center. Marsha received her Associate's Degree in Nursing from Olney Central College in 1987.
    Registered Nurse
    Expert Answer
    Many people cry when they are angry. It is one way to diffuse the situation.
  • Question
    How do you avoid sounding choked up while you're holding back tears?
    Community Answer
    The "lump in your throat" feeling is partly due to stress, and partly to lack of air. Pull back your shoulders, relax them, and take deep breaths. This is easier if you identify situations that might make you cry, and start preparing before the feeling overtakes you.
  • Question
    Why do I feel bad when crying? As if I have done something wrong but I didn't?
    Community Answer
    Crying is a form of releasing emotions and it is also draining. You probably feel bad because it tires you and releases a lot of emotional gunk. You may also have a hangup about thinking that crying isn't right, in which case you will feel that having cried is wrong. The thing is, it isn't wrong to cry, so don't feel as if you did anything wrong by crying.
  • Question
    What do I do if my face is red after I cry?
    Community Answer
    While you're crying, try to take deep, even breaths. This will prevent some of the redness. After crying, splash cold water on your face, especially on puffy eyes. If your face and eyes get very red, carry concealer and decongestant eye drops. Only use the eye drops occasionally, since overuse can make your eyes red and dry.
  • Question
    How can I make people stop hurting me?
    Community Answer
    Don't let other people's teasing, insults and taunting bother you. The reason people hurt you is because you show emotion by way of tears, which is a desired reaction from them. If you don't show emotion they'll stop because they know your not being bothered by them. But more important is to learn internally to not be bothered, so that their insults really don't affect you because you understand that they're projecting their own insecurities rather than making valid points about you. You are the creator and nurturer of your own self worth and nobody can destroy that unless you let them.
  • Question
    How do I try to look calm when I have a lump in my throat, and when I can already feel the tears at the back of my eyes?
    Community Answer
    Take a deep breath repeatedly, about five to ten times in a row. If this doesn't work, you can go talk to your teacher or you can ask to be excused from class. You can always get a drink of water or even splash your face lightly with water.
  • Question
    What if I've already started crying and want to stop?
    Community Answer
    Most people find this difficult. Some people succeed by drinking a glass of water, or pinching themselves.
  • Question
    What if I am going to cry in class and I just don't the other students to see?
    Community Answer
    Try asking the teacher if you can leave because you don't feel well. Or, you could ask to go to the toilet, or just try being honest and own your tears. Everyone cries, and the more people who embrace this reality, the better for everyone.
  • Question
    What if we're at school and we start crying. How do we stop?
    Community Answer
    Crying is an emotional response. If you can change your emotion, you will stop crying. If you can't, try splashing cold water on your face and taking deep breaths.
  • Question
    Why does my nose get red and my lips swell when I cry?
    Community Answer
    This is normal. Blood rushes to your face when you cry, and water retention increases as well. You can help the redness and swelling go down by splashing your face with cold water and/or holding something cold over the affected area for a couple of minutes.
  • Question
    What if I am crying, because someone is leaving me for a while?
    Community Answer
    Try to focus on something else, and try not to dwell on it. You will get through it!
  • Question
    How do I hold tears back when I am around other people?
    Community Answer
    Do something to keep your mind off crying and prevent tears from running down your face by glancing up at the ceiling.
  • Question
    Why do I cry harder when someone asks me why I am crying?
    Time4tea Britain
    Community Answer
    It might be because they don't understand why you're crying, or it may be because it brings back the memory of why you started crying in the first place.
  • Question
    People won't leave me alone when my eyes water up because of sneezing. How do I handle this?
    Community Answer
    Just say, "Listen, I'm okay. I appreciate it." Or try telling them you have allergies. If that doesn't work, just walk away.
  • Question
    What if we're having a face-to-face conversation and you can't excuse yourself or give out signs?
    Community Answer
    If people ask what is wrong when they see tears in your eyes, you could say it is an allergy. Or, if you can, if they say "Are you crying" or something like that, play it cool and say "No my eyes are just really watery, I think it's the moldy walls/carpet in this room, I really should tell the principal about this", then wipe your eyes or just go on with your conversation as usual.
  • Question
    What should I do if I try to stop crying, but every time I think about it I start crying again?
    Community Answer
    Focus on something that makes you happy. Try to think about your pet or something that makes you laugh.
  • Question
    I am quite sensitive; how can I prevent myself from crying during sad conversations?
    That_one_drummer
    Community Answer
    If it's a sad conversation, it's usually okay to cry. But if your really having trouble, try pinching yourself or looking at a bright light.
  • Question
    Why do I still hurt emotionally after having cried?
    Community Answer
    You may not have yet dealt with the issue that prompted your tears. While crying can be cathartic, it does not alleviate all stress.
  • Question
    What should I do when I cry non-stop, and everything above doesn't work?
    Community Answer
    Let it out, as it is fairly clear when you need to cry that much, then you need to cry. Tears are cathartic and for good criers, there is often a sense of deep relief and exhaustion after crying that allows for sleep, rest or calming. After that, it is often easier to move past the problem and deal with it, because the emotional part has been all cried out. Thus, try to see crying as helping you when the urge is so overwhelming, and find a private spot to let the healing begin.
  • Question
    What if you're just going through a tough time and want to cry, but don't want anyone else to see?
    Community Answer
    If you are going though a tough time don't hang around to have people see your tears -- go somewhere private and cry, then wash your face. If you can't get away, feel it in the inside. Then do something that makes you feel better, even if it's just a walk to the store to buy a lollipop or a newspaper.
  • Question
    I cry because of homesickness. I looked at everything to do and it just doesn't work. Does anyone have any suggestions?
    Community Answer
    Allow yourself to cry; every time you stop it, then it will just try to return. It's your way of expressing your emotions. Once that's out of your system, lie down. Close your eyes and imagine your home, your bedroom, your family. Allow yourself to enjoy wandering through your home and being with family, in your mind, to recall the life you used to enjoy. You might also call your family. Balance this with finding ways to have fun where you are now, going to places you enjoy, spending time making new friends and getting to know your area.
  • Question
    How can I stop looking like I am about to cry after I drink a fizzy drink?
    Community Answer
    Just say it was your fizzy drink. The tears don't last long, so don't worry.
  • Question
    Why is it that every time someone yells at me, I try to talk, but I end up crying?
    Community Answer
    This happens to pretty much everyone. It's because you feel weak and powerless when someone is yelling at you. All you can really do is take a deep breath and try to calm down. Tell the person something like, "If you're going to keep yelling at me, I can't explain myself. Can we please talk about this?"
  • Question
    How do I stop crying all the time?
    Community Answer
    You may find the advice in wikiHow articles Stop Crying when You Are Very Upset and Control Crying to be helpful.
  • Question
    What do I do if I am home alone and I cry? What if I want to stop even if nobody can see me?
    Community Answer
    Turn on the TV and watch a funny show or a show that you like. Or, watch funny YouTube videos. Be sure that you're comfortable and warm or cool enough too. Think happy thoughts and cuddle with a pet. Call a friend if talking will help.
  • Question
    How do you prevent your eyes going red after crying?
    Community Answer
    Sprinkle water around your eyes. Spread it out to your cheeks and neck to even it out. Dab dry and repeat if necessary. This may alleviate some redness but if you've cried a lot, the only good remedy is giving your eyes time to calm down to neutral again.
  • Question
    What if none of this is possible in the situation I'm in?
    Community Answer
    Distract yourself from the situation. Think about something you like.
  • Question
    How can I make my eyes less red so people don't know I was crying?
    Community Answer
    Maybe you could put some ice cubes or cold water on your eye, or just blame your red eyes on seasonal allergies. You could also just tell them you were, in fact, crying.
  • Question
    Why do I not cry when I am grieving?
    Community Answer
    Everyone processes their grief differently, and some people do not cry when they are grieving. It is completely normal if it is a part of your process.
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