Q&A for How to Insult Somebody Creatively

Laugh at the rumor and add little more to it...add enough that people finally realize the whole story is fake.

"No wonder my grandson doesn't like you. Stop focusing on the small things that don't matter and start acting like a father/fatherly figure/role model." People like what they like! It's petty and nasty to put them down for that.

If she used to be your good friend, perhaps you know some of her deep dark secrets or something like that. Bring it up, and she'll realize that she can't act like your friendship never happened.

To quote Tyrion Lannister, "You're a bastard, Snow. Wear it like armor, and the world can't hurt you with it." When you're proud of your flaws, it makes you unique and unbreakable. If a person mocks you for being fat, just know there's more of you to love. The more comfortable and accepting you become with yourself, the less the opinions of others matter.

Say "nobody asked for your opinion, you nasty little mud-blood." Keep it cool, and act like you don't care.

You could say "I may talk loudly but I can change that. Your ugliness, though, you are stuck with that forever!"

Say, "Every time you open your mouth someone dies. So, do the world a favor and shut up."

There is a difference between defending yourself and pointing out someone's flaws and bullying.

Be cool and assertive when he approaches you. He'll back down if you build up the tension. Also, be silent and don't make any noises, he won't know what you're thinking and he'll be uneasy. Use a scare tactic as well, maybe reach into your pocket as if you're holding something in your hands. You don't need to insult him to make him leave you alone, just make him anxious.

If you want to insult him, you could say "Skinny or fat, I still look better than you." Or, you could take the high road and just ignore him, knowing that your value is not determined by your weight, and that only ignorant people make fun of others for their appearance.

Yes, it's definitely fine to use an older joke phrase ironically.

It is not only wrong for your mother to insult you, it's wrong for anyone to insult anyone. If you feel it is wrong for her to insult you, then you cannot insult her back. You can't have them both; either you think it's wrong and don't do it yourself, or you do it too but don't take offense when someone insults you. So at the very least, stop insulting her back. No matter how angry she gets, you're going to have to keep telling her to stop. This borders on psychological abuse, and it is not acceptable in any form or shape. Sit her down to talk to her. Don't stop before this stops.

Keep going until they do. Use their outfits or hairstyles against them.

If they are not stopping their insults, you can just walk away confidently.

Just say, "Stop wasting your time telling us things that aren't true and things that we don't care about. Seriously, go get a life."

A lighthearted, self-deprecating response is more effective than a return insult because it shows you can't be ruffled by your insulter's pettiness. Abraham Lincoln was the master of self-deprecating humor. Someone once insulted him by calling him "two-faced." His response? "If I had another face, do you think I'd wear this one?" He also famously made the observation that God must love "common-looking" (ie. ugly) people, because He'd made so many of them. The point is that it's awfully hard to continue to make fun of someone who responds good-naturedly and seems unfazed by the insults.

You can simply keep your cool, look up and say: "At least I have something to eat, unlike you."

Pretend you heard nothing. A very easy solution with a very realistic response.

You can tell a friend and ask them to spread it anonymously or you can write a note or tell someone you know is a gossip.

Just by focusing on that person's weaknesses and trying to figure out how to use them against that person. Showing frustration will only give them a weakness of yours to exploit.

Here are a few possible responses: "Did you mistake me as a... mirror?" "Really? Then you must be my long lost twin!" "Well, at least I'm not crappy on the inside as well, like SOME people." "I'm sorry about my looks. Can you help me out then?"

Yes. But I would first talk to the teacher, whose task it is to make sure everyone feels OK in class; if their constant talking is bothering you, that's a valid complaint. You could have a polite (planned) sudden outburst, too. Yell "Will you keep your mouths shut!", then apologize to the teacher for interrupting class. But if you want to get creative: "Talk any faster and you'll take off," or "Good job breaking the stereotype that only girls talk that much."

Just keep walking. You might call back, "I'm sorry, but are are you calling me? Because I thought someone was calling you."

If you can fight that person, do it. If you can't, then it's better to back off. Just insult him badly using his weakness, and make sure you don't show yours.

Say, "At least I have a life and I'm not as lonely as you are." Smile when you say it, it will make them feel worse.

Leave it at that. Let's imagine that this boy liked you too, but now he's dating her just because she was dominant and selfish, making you look bad so she can have him to herself. Do you really want someone who is this easily persuaded to forsake his own feelings? And if he didn't like you back, then you wouldn't have been with him anyway, regardless of what this other girl did. Finally, if she needed to diminish other people to get what she wanted, she's not a nice person, so don't spend any more energy on her.

Don't insult them, those jerks aren't even worth your time. Instead, ignore them, and act even happier than you were before. Make them think you don't care.

Be the classy one. Do a small smile and turn your back to the person, then walk away.

Turn off the computer or stop texting him. The greatest insult is to be ignored.

You could make something up about them and spread it to everyone, or find their flaw and use it against them. Otherwise you could confront them about it and use it as an opportunity to make them more aware of your disability in order to teach them proper respect.