How to Know if You Are Ready for a Relationship
Expert Q&A for How to Know When to Break Up
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QuestionDo I need to break up with my significant other in person?Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.It depends on how long you’ve been together. If you’ve only been dating for a month and it's not that serious, you technically don't need to do it in person, although doing it in person would be nicer and more respectful. But if you're in a serious relationship where you've been spending a lot of time together, you definitely should be mature and do it in person. Give them a chance to ask questions, process what's happening, and understand why.
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QuestionHow do you tell if someone is right for you?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Well for starters, you should be happy much of the time. If there are very frequent arguments and disappointments, that may be a warning sign. A relationship should enhance your life, not take away from it.
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QuestionHow do you break up with your boyfriend?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Hopefully in person, unless there is physical or emotional abuse involved. Let him know that you are not happy. Be kind, but clear and direct.
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QuestionHow do you let go of the one you love?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Ask yourself if you are happy and if the relationship enhances your life. Sometimes it is best to end a relationship even if you still love the person. Love cannot necessarily conquer all.
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QuestionHow do you get rid of a guy you love?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).It is harder to end a relationship when you still love the person. But if you are not happy and the relationship drags you down, it is best you leave. Honesty tends to work best. Be kind but clear and direct.
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QuestionI think my girlfriend is ignoring me. My friends say I should break up with her, but I disagree. Am I clingy or is this ok?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).You should be clear about whether or not your girlfriend is ignoring you. If you can identify the behaviors that bother you, talk to her about it. You are only being too clingy if you know the answers and still stay in the relationship.
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QuestionMy girlfriend has asked for space. Yet, when she texts and calls me and I don't respond, she gets mad and stops speaking to me. What do I do?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).If you are agreeing to take space, you also need to agree on the number and type of contacts that you will actually have during that time. You should both consider re-reading the article, "How To Give Each Other Space."
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