Q&A for How to Meet Other Lesbians

Yes, you should talk to her. Lesbians are people too. It's not like they have the plague or something.

There's no exact way to tell if she's a lesbian, lesbians are just like everybody else; but you could bring it up casually, like asking about her "boyfriend". If she's says she isn't attracted to males, then bingo, but if she's says she wants one, you may be out of luck (unless she's bisexual). It'd best to bring it up casually.

You could always try to attend LGBT+ events in your area like pride or LGBT+ clubs or organizations, or go to a gay bar or club if you're old enough. If you want a less direct approach, you could try downloading a lesbian dating app like the HER app or something similar.

Ask her. If you know the girl well enough, just bring it up in conversation. If you've only just met, hint at the fact that you are, then try to bring it up later on.

If you are a woman and you're attracted exclusively to women, then you're a lesbian. If you're also attracted to men, you're probably bisexual. You have to determine for yourself what attracts you.

Telling her will probably make things awkward for a while, but assuming she's not homophobic that should pass if you give her a little space. The alternative is often more awkward, if you're obsessing over her and having trouble acting normal. As for how to tell her, just be direct and honest. Don't make it sound like you're hitting on her, and explain that you needed to clear the air. If she doesn't know you're gay yet, come out to her and leave the rest for another conversation.

Don't download dating apps if you are younger than 18. You never know of any potential risks online. Your family not knowing is perfectly okay -- only let them know when you're ready to come out. If you like a close friend then that's awesome! However, I would make sure that she is into girls as well. I myself have fallen for straight girls before and trust me it was messy. If she isn't into girls, fair enough. That is your cue to move on. Just remember that there is no rush to get into a relationship. When it's meant to happen, it will.

There's nothing you really need to do. It's fine if you both have a crush on the same person. If the girl is romantically interested in one of you, she can let you know. Unless she is bisexual, probably only one of you has an actual chance to potentially date her.

You can always move to a place that allows gay marriage. Also, remember that while gay marriage might be banned, being in a same-sex relationship might not be. You can still be free to love whoever you wish, and be in a relationship with her.

You could try dating both boys and girls. There are many sexuality types, such as bi-romantic homosexual, gay, or gyneromantic bisexual (romantically attracted to women but sexually attracted to both men and women). Take your time to figure it out; there is no need to rush.

You may be going through a hormonal change within your body. Sometimes girls fantasize about other girls but are still straight, as the brain is only experimenting with its options. (The same thing happens to some men, too.) If you no longer feel attracted to boys and feel more compelled and interested in women, there is a chance you could be part of the LGBT community. Sometimes these feelings last only for a short period of time, but if they continue, it is likely you are not fully heterosexual. Instead, you could be bisexual or even a lesbian.

Yes. Some married women are lesbians (even those that are married to men!).

There are plenty of apps such as HER and Tindr. Meeting on the internet is a great way to overcome shyness.

I'd personally recommend trying social medias (especially Tumblr or Twitter, as they've got huge LGBT communities). Don't think of these as dating websites though, more of a way to discuss your experiences with other people and make friends.

You can try online dating. If that doesn't work for you, make sure to let your friends know you're in the market for a girlfriend, maybe one of them can set you up! I would also recommend partaking in activities that appeal to women in your age range so you have a chance to meet them and get to know them in person.

Even in countries where gay marriage is illegal, depending on the country there can be a few gay bars in major cities. Research online, and if you can, check out gay-friendly bars or cafes where you can meet people.

This is a situation that entirely depends on circumstance. First, do you feel that you need to come out to your parents? Second, do you feel it would be safe for you to come out? Maybe try coming out to your mom first, and get her advice on how to tell your dad.

Both of them may be valid. There are different types of attractions, mainly sexual and romantic. For example, if you like girls sexually, but boys romantically, you may be homosexual and heteroromantic.

You're still very young, try not to worry too much about dating. Most likely there are lesbians at your school, they just aren't out or comfortable talking about it yet. For now, focus on building strong friendships with people instead. It's likely other girls will start to come out as time goes on (maybe even one or two of the girls you are friends with) so try to be patient.

This can be difficult seeing as some LGBT spaces are 21+, 18+ or 16+ (I know this is sad, but it's true). However, try to google "LGBT youth group [name of your area/city]" and see what comes up. Some schools also have LGBT groups. If you can find an LGBT bookstore or cafe or something like that, it might also be worth going there and hanging out once in a while. Keep in mind that it will be easier as you get older, and that some of your friends may be queer too, and still in the closet. Be patient.

You can tell her in private, or you can casually bring up that you are actually more interested in girls next time she brings it up.

Go to LGBTQ+ friendly events or meet people through common interests like music or art. You can also meet them at places like work/school. Just be friendly and get to know people, even if you don't think they're LGBTQ+, they might be, people can surprise you.

Unless you have literally asked every single person in your area what their sexuality is, keep looking! Some are shy about their sexuality in fear of being rejected or not knowing how to come out. Be open and get to know lots of people, and you will likely meet some that are gay.

Get to know her as a friend. Hang out with her, talk to her, etc. The subject might come up organically without you even having to do anything. If it doesn't, you could casually mention a female crush, or ask her if she has any crushes and see what happens. You could also pay her a compliment and see how she reacts to that, or just outright tell her how you feel. Most likely the worst case scenario is that she says she's not interested. At least you will have tried.

If you really trust your friend, you should tell her you're a lesbian. If she asks if you've ever had a crush on anyone, you could mention that you "used to" have a crush on her. See how she reacts; if she reacts positively or tells you she likes you too, tell her you still have a crush on her. If she's creeped out, lie and say you no longer have a crush on her. If she's the only person you trust, you don't want to ruin your relationship with her. Finally, remember that no means no; if she doesn't like you, you shouldn't try to pursue a romantic relationship with her. In fact, in that case, it would be a good idea try to get over your crush on her.

You technically could, but if you're sexually attracted to men and women, then you would be bisexual rather than a lesbian.

Try to meet people online. Tumblr and Twitter can be very useful. Just make sure to be safe and don't give your personal information to anyone.

Quite often this will come up in casual conversation. If it doesn't, you can ask her, ask her friends if you know them, or even check out her social media accounts.

Ask for forgiveness and live your life. Talk to an authority at your church about your concerns, that's what they are there for.

If you feel the need to read her texts then you probably don't trust her and should either talk to her about it or brake up with her.