Q&A for How to Not Be Annoying

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  • Question
    How do I know if I am annoying?
    Lynn Kirkham
    Public Speaking Coach
    Lynn Kirkham is a Professional Public Speaker and Founder of Yes You Can Speak, a San Francisco Bay Area-based public speaking educational business empowering thousands of professionals to take command of whatever stage they've been given - from job interviews, boardroom talks to TEDx and large conference platforms. Lynn was chosen as the official TEDx Berkeley speaker coach for the last four years and has worked with executives at Google, Facebook, Intuit, Genentech, Intel, VMware, and others.
    Public Speaking Coach
    Expert Answer
    Here are some things that people may find annoying when you're talking to them: using filler words like 'um,' 'uh,' or 'like.' Pacing back and forth while you're talking. Speaking too loudly, too softly, or too fast. Scanning the room over and over with your eyes. Try to avoid doing these things in conversation.
  • Question
    How do I stop being so annoying?
    Lynn Kirkham
    Public Speaking Coach
    Lynn Kirkham is a Professional Public Speaker and Founder of Yes You Can Speak, a San Francisco Bay Area-based public speaking educational business empowering thousands of professionals to take command of whatever stage they've been given - from job interviews, boardroom talks to TEDx and large conference platforms. Lynn was chosen as the official TEDx Berkeley speaker coach for the last four years and has worked with executives at Google, Facebook, Intuit, Genentech, Intel, VMware, and others.
    Public Speaking Coach
    Expert Answer
    Here are some things you can do in conversation that aren't annoying: making eye contact, holding yourself high and using strong body posture, and using your hands and face to further express your thoughts.
  • Question
    How do you know when you are being annoying?
    Community Answer
    Usually you will know it when you can just feel the negative energy around you. People may ignore you or avoid any kind of contact with you. The best thing to do in that case is be quiet and sit still. Cool down for a moment. Resume when you feel less hyper or are no longer insistent about getting across your message.
  • Question
    How do you not be annoying when talking?
    Community Answer
    Don't interrupt or start arguments. Think before you speak. Don't try too hard. Don't make jokes or try to be funny while talking about serious topics. Try not to talk too much and give others a chance to speak. Don't say anything inappropriate or make offensive jokes, unless you're with a good friend who doesn't mind that stuff. Don't be rude or mean.
  • Question
    What if people call you annoying when you didn't do anything at all?
    Community Answer
    They're being rude or they're telling you in a lazy way to go away. You could ask them why they find you annoying but don't do that if you know it'll just invite ridicule. If they're trying to send you away, just leave and don't take anything they say to heart.
  • Question
    How can I make everyone like you?
    Community Answer
    It is impossible to be liked by everyone, but you can make most people like you by being kind, open, honest, compassionate and funny.
  • Question
    What can I do if there's something annoying, like my voice, that I can't change?
    Community Answer
    Is it that you think it annoys people or is it something you'd prefer sounded different? Remember that you sound different to other people than to yourself. You can easily control such things as baby talk, squealing, being overly loud or too soft, mumbling, griping, etc. You cannot control the actual voice your genetics have gifted you with but you can speak better through pronouncing things clearly, slowing down and concentrating on being refined.
  • Question
    How do you stop talking too much?
    Community Answer
    Try to summarize what your point is on what you are trying to say. If you notice yourself continuously talking, try not to beat around the bush in getting to the point. Stop and listen to others more than talking. With practice, it will become a habit to restrain yourself.
  • Question
    How do I change someone's opinion about me?
    Community Answer
    Be yourself. Don't go out of your way to try and impress anyone. This only turns you into a phony. If someone doesn't like you, and this happens to everyone, just try to be kind to them and stay out of their way. Eventually, they will come around.
  • Question
    What if you like someone and they avoid you?
    Community Answer
    Leave them alone. If they don't like you, being around them won't make them change their mind. Hang out with people who actually like hanging out with you.
  • Question
    What if you try all of those things, including walking away, but they still call you overly annoying?
    Community Answer
    Just leave them alone. Find friends who will appreciate you for who you are.
  • Question
    What do I do if I have a problem with correcting people?
    Community Answer
    It depends on the way you correct them. If you rub it all in their face saying they're wrong, it can hurt their feelings, and they will not want to be by you, but if you calmly say it a nice polite way they can understand, and know that you weren't trying to hurt them. Before correcting someone, consider whether it makes a difference to share the information. If it is inconsequential, remind yourself that it does not matter and try to keep your comments to yourself.
  • Question
    This guy thinks I am annoying but I like him. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Leave him be for now. If he interacts with you, be courteous, but don't linger. He's already made it clear that he finds you annoying, so don't overstay your welcome. In time, he may come to change his mind about you.
  • Question
    How can I stop being annoying to my friend?
    Community Answer
    Ask your friend what makes you annoying. Try to change or limit that behavior if possible. If your friend still thinks you are annoying, find a new friend who likes you just the way you are.
  • Question
    A guy I like finds me annoying, because I don't understand his jokes. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    It's all about your sense of humor. If he wants you to change your sense of humor, don't let him. You control your own opinions and things about life. However, if you still want to be friends with him, pretend to laugh. Don't laugh too hard though or he will sense that you're faking it.
  • Question
    One of my friends told me that I am annoying. I like her and want to stay friends, so what should I do to be less annoying?
    Community Answer
    First apologize, then ask her what you're doing that annoys her. Listen. and stop doing that thing. If the problem is something that you can't change, or don't feel right about changing, discuss it with your friend civilly. Explain your situation, and if they're a good friend they will at least hear you out.
  • Question
    I was really good friends with this guy. However, he suddenly started hating me, and when I asked him why he hates me, he said I am annoying. I don't want to break my friendship with him. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Ask him what he finds annoying. If it's something can be easily changed, try to change that habit or trait. If it's not something that can be changed, or if he won't explain himself to you, you will have to break the friendship. Some people are just not good friends, and you deserve better than being told you are annoying.
  • Question
    I really have a bad influence on my friends and family because they always scream and tell me what to do, and what can I do not to get annoyed?
    Community Answer
    If your friends and family are screaming at you, then it's little wonder you're responding in ways that seem "annoying"; you're trying to defend yourself. When things are far calmer, talk to everyone and ask them nicely to stop telling you what to do all the time and to respect what you do do. In turn, live up to the responsibility by doing what you've said you would instead of having to be nagged about it. A bit of give and take each way is in order.
  • Question
    My best friend won't accept me for who I am! What should I do?
    Zeldayolo123
    Community Answer
    That doesn't sound like a real friend. Your 'best friend' should love you for who you are. If they don't like you for who you are, they're not you best friend. However, if you're being annoying and your friend just has a problem with that part of you, then try not to be annoying.
  • Question
    How can I be more interesting to talk to?
    Community Answer
    Be confident about yourself. Observe other people whose communicative skills you admire and make note of how they engage others. Pay attention to their body language and facial expressions and to what kind of humour they add in the conversation. This article may also be helpful: how to be a great conversationalist .
  • Question
    Can following someone around and asking a bunch of questions be annoying?
    PrincessCutieFuz26
    Community Answer
    Yes. Try to limit your questions, and only ask your questions if they make sense and the answer isn't obvious.
  • Question
    How do I break out of my annoying habits?
    Community Answer
    You can break out of your habits by addressing them to yourself and knowing what they are. This way, when you might do one of those, you remember its annoying and stop.
  • Question
    What if I'm trying to be myself but feel as if I annoy everyone?
    Community Answer
    When it comes to you and your friends, when you talk to each other, don't be repetitive or stupid. Feel confident, but take the hint if someone says you are being too annoying.
  • Question
    I try to tell my friend funny jokes, but she tells me I'm annoying. Why?
    Community Answer
    Maybe she just doesn't think that the jokes you're telling her are funny. Or maybe she thinks you tell those jokes too much and she's annoyed with having to hear them a lot after she has already heard the punchline twenty times.
  • Question
    If I'm told to mind my own business, should I do it even if I see someone being bullied?
    Community Answer
    No. If someone is being bullied, then they could use your help.
  • Question
    My friend recently told me to stop talking to my crush because "I annoy him." But he's never done anything to show me he's annoyed. Am I annoying?
    Community Answer
    Either your friend likes your crush also, your friend is jealous of the attention you're giving your crush, or your crush has told your friend you annoy him, but he's too shy or polite to tell you himself. If I were you, I'd start by asking him, "Hey, you'd tell me if you found me annoying, right?" Then have a conversation with your friend about what's really going on.
  • Question
    What do I do if people tell me I'm not annoying but still give me that negative vibe even if they say we're friends?
    Community Answer
    Try to use the tactic of being less annoying for another few days. If they still give you that vibe, they either just are rude and don't like you even though you aren't annoying, or you may want to question if they are your friends or not.
  • Question
    What if my presence annoys him almost every day?
    Community Answer
    Give him some space, or ask him what he finds annoying, and try to change that behavior. Keep in mind, though, if the "him" you're referring to is your boyfriend, it's pretty disrespectful of him to tell you that you're annoying. You shouldn't change yourself for a guy. This might not be the right relationship for you.
  • Question
    Is roasting people at every chance being annoying?
    Community Answer
    Yes, that would be annoying to most people.
  • Question
    What if I ask my friends if I'm annoying and they say no, but I still feel like something is up?
    Community Answer
    Believe them. If they truly do find you annoying, they'll eventually start distancing themselves from you or tell you directly that you're bothering them. If you keep asking them, you truly will becoming annoying. Most likely you are just feeling insecure and your friends don't think you're annoying at all.
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