Q&A for How to Pass As a Male (For FTMs)

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  • Question
    I am 12. Most of my friends say I am too young and refuse to call me by the correct pronouns. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Tell your current friends how you feel. Tell them that you feel very disrespected when they misgender you, and that if they continue to do so, you will be ending the friendship(s). Find new friends who accept you for who you are.
  • Question
    How do I tell my parents that I'm trans? When I was around 13 I tried to tell my mom, but she brushed it off as just a phase. Now I'm 17 and I still feel like this, what should I do?
    Owl511
    Community Answer
    Try telling her again very simply and in slow language. Be casual enough so it's not tense, but not too casual so that she thinks you're joking. She'll more likely believe you if you are 17, because you are almost 18 and ready to make your own choices. For additional tips, check the wikiHow article on how to Come Out to Your Parents .
  • Question
    How do I come out as trans to my parents?
    Community Answer
    This depends on your comfort level. You could walk in and sit them down and say "Mom, Dad Im trans". Be sure to have an FTM guide with you for them to look up their questions (for example, ftmguide.org). Or, explain it in a note and hand it to them. You can either choose to stay in the room with them as they read it or run away to your room once you do that and wait.
  • Question
    I am trans but my parents beat me for it and I want to help them understand but they laughed at me, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    If you're parents are beating you, get out of the house, call 911, and go someplace safe.
  • Question
    Is it possible to start HRT without parents knowing if I am a minor?
    Community Answer
    No. If you are under 18, you must have parental permission. If your parents are transphobic, then you may be able to start HRT with support and full permission from a doctor but that is unlikely.
  • Question
    I'm in grade 7 and I don't know what bathroom to use. I want to ask the principal, but I'm scared. Every time I get close to the office I chicken out and walk away.
    Community Answer
    You should use the bathroom you want to use. I have a friend who is gender fluid and asked the principal about it, and now they are able to use either bathroom they feel like using. Maybe you should ask a teacher you trust instead, and they can ask the principal for you.
  • Question
    if I am curvier, what should I do about that?
    Community Answer
    Wear flannels and jeans from the men's section -- these will hide your breasts and show less curves. Get graphic tees in the unisex area and nobody will judge.
  • Question
    How do I bind without my parents knowing and without buying a binder?
    Community Answer
    It depends on your normal breast size. If you happen to be a little on the larger side for your age, this method works fairly well if paired with a loose fitting tee-shirt or sweatshirt––wear a tight fitting sports bra. However, don't wear it for more than 8 hours or else you can damage your rib cage.
  • Question
    How do you tell your family about wanting to start blockers?
    Community Answer
    Just be honest with them. Make a list of the pros and the cons, and show it to them honestly. Don't hide anything from them when telling, because eventually they will find out.
  • Question
    How do I pack without my parents finding out?
    Community Answer
    Use a sock to shape it to the size and shape you want, secure it with a safety pin and don't do this until you're away from your parents.
  • Question
    I'm already 16, and I've known I am trans for a few months. It is too late now? I read that most people realize they're trans in childhood.
    Community Answer
    It's never too late. Some people realize when they're very young, some people don't realize until they're much older than you. I would suggest you talk to your parents, your doctor, and a gender therapist about your transition and how you would like to proceed.
  • Question
    How do I get a flat stomach?
    Community Answer
    Aim to lose enough fat so that your abs are visible, and only switch to ab exercises once that happens. This is harder for biological females, but definitely achievable.
  • Question
    My parents say I am too young. What do I tell them to convince them otherwise? I am 13.
    Community Answer
    Explain to them that this is who you are, and if they can't accept it, then you're disappointed. Be mature when talking to them. Explain how you feel.
  • Question
    What kind of clothes are masculine, and where are some good places to get them?
    Community Answer
    Baggy, square-cut clothes are masculine, in general. H & M men's store is a good place to shop. They are cheap, and their clothes last pretty long.
  • Question
    Is it okay to let a 7 year old child, who might think that they're a dog or a dinosaur one day or the next, decide to alter their own bodies before they even really know themselves?
    Community Answer
    Most 7-year-olds do not believe they are a different species; if they do, there are likely other problems to deal with. Body alteration should probably wait for when they are closer to puberty and have had time to think about their bodily changes; however, their gender is something they can understand and embody prior to blockers or hormones.
  • Question
    Can you ever be too young to say you are Trans?
    Community Answer
    No, you can never be too young. In fact the younger you come to terms with it, the better transition you have. For example, the ages 7 to 13 are the best years to start on puberty blockers, as you're still developing. It'll greatly increase your chances of "passing". As a bonus, it will most likely be easier to convince your family, friends, etc. to use your preferred pronouns (e.g. "he, his, him").
  • Question
    I'm extremely short. I'm 4'11" and won't be growing much more throughout the rest of my life. Am I doomed to be a tiny man forever?
    Community Answer
    If you're young, starting testosterone may increase your height (no guarantees). Once past puberty you may only grow an inch or two more, if any at all. I wouldn't say you're doomed. Short men are just as passable as a tall man. I know cis guys who are about your height and won't grow anymore, so don't worry too much.
  • Question
    I'm 13 and I've wanted to be a boy since I was 10. My friend knows about me, but my family doesn't. She has bought me a binder. Will my parents be able to notice the difference?
    Community Answer
    They may, depending on your current cup size and how observant they are. If you wish, you can change into your binder outside of the house and take it off again before you return.
  • Question
    My mom is afraid to have me start testosterone at 14 because she is afraid of health effects. How can I convince her testosterone is safe for a minor?
    Community Answer
    You should see a doctor about it together and get a professional opinion. If health professionals assure her that it's safe, she should have nothing to worry about. You can also share with her any research you may have on the subject.
  • Question
    My parents once opened my computer when I had a trans support page open. My mom told me that I'm not trans, but if they already know, should I just start correcting them if they refer to me as "she"?
    Community Answer
    Yes. Correct them. If they're being assholes and trying to deny your identity, you should be allowed to correct them.
  • Question
    When should I start applying mascara to peach fuzz?
    Community Answer
    It's really up to you and depends on when it becomes noticeable. Around 14 to 15 is when my brother started growing hair on his face.
  • Question
    How do I start and when? What should I do first to become FTM?
    Community Answer
    Come out and transition socially. Get people to call you by your preferred name and pronouns. Refuse to respond to your given name and pronouns. Start whenever you feel comfortable, there is no "right" age or time. Everyone is different.
  • Question
    My mother won't let me get a binder or a sports bra -- she doesn't want me 'changing my body.' What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Binders don't change your body -- they just hold it in a way that minimizes the appearance of breasts. Once you are 18, you can do whatever you want. Until then, there are programs that send binders discreetly and free for those in need.
  • Question
    How can I have a more masculine face pre-testosterone?
    Ebit78
    Community Answer
    Working out to lose body fat can help you with a more angular face. Avoid facial hair to accent your bone structure. If that isn't enough, try some light contouring.
  • Question
    What are some good chest binder companies?
    Community Answer
    Underworks and GC2B are the best (and really only) binders that are inexpensive and safe to use. Do NOT buy one off Amazon! Those may be cheap, but they can give you lasting chest problems. GC2B also has a swim binder line and a line of skin-toned binders.
  • Question
    Is there an age requirement to start testosterone? I'm 14.
    Dragonboy2127
    Community Answer
    In most places in America, you can only start T under age 18 if you have parental permission.
  • Question
    Where can I buy chest binders for a reasonable price?
    Community Answer
    Chest binders range in prices, and what may be a reasonable price for you may not be affordable for someone else. A commonly used binder company is called Underworks, and costs around thirty dollars for one binder. Many people agree that LesLoveBoat, a Taiwanese company for transgender males, is one of the best options, but the binders range from forty to sixty dollars; T-Kingdom is known as less expensive, but doesn't work for everyone. It may be worth saving up money for a binder, if possible.
  • Question
    I want to tell my family and friends I'm trans, but I'm too scared to. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Take your time and tell them when you're ready. Give hints along the way and slowly show them more and more of your trans side, so they may realize you are trans before you come out to them officially. If you have a close, supportive friend or family member, you may want to ask them to come and support you when you talk to others.
  • Question
    I have a good binder, but it still doesn't do the trick. You can see breasts, no matter what I try. What should I do? Would wearing a second binder help somehow?
    Community Answer
    Do not wear a second binder because it could cause injury to your body. Assuming that you have tried other methods of obscuring your breasts (e.g. layering/loose clothing/etc), moving your shoulders and collarbone forward could distance your clothes from your body, although this may feel awkward.
  • Question
    I told my parents that I'm trans, but I don't know how to put how I feel into words. They said I'm not and it's just a phase. How do I explain so they can understand and not shut me down again?
    Community Answer
    Just say, "Neither of us know whether it's a phase or not. But I think it would be best to treat it as if it isn't. Please understand and take me seriously." If you're having trouble articulating how you feel, try writing in a journal about it for a while, see if things become more clear. You could even then read your journal entries to your parents if you think it would help.
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