Q&A for How to Pick Up Gay Men

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  • Question
    A friend has been flirting with me lately. I am interested but don't want to be the fool if I read the signals wrong. I'd like to be with him but don't know what to say or do to show him I am interested.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    You can try flirting back and see if he responds to it, or you can be direct and tell him how you feel. It might be awkward if he doesn't feel the same way, but if he's a good friend, he'll be understanding about it, and the awkwardness will likely fade with a little time. It's hard to put yourself out there, but it's better than not knowing. Good luck!
  • Question
    How do l ask if he would like to have sex?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    You can always ask him directly if he'd like to go home with you (or be a bit subtler and try "Want to get out of here?"). He might be up for it, but he also might turn you down, so make sure you've got a thick skin!
  • Question
    All the guys that show interest in me are the complete opposite of my type but all the guys that I show interest in don't show any interest in me. Am I cursed?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    That's a pretty common experience, though it can be frustrating! It's possible you're more confident and open around guys you aren't into because you feel less anxiety around them, and confidence is a turn-on for a lot of people.
  • Question
    There is a boy in my class who is a good friend, but he wants to be more than that. What should I do?
    LittleFire99
    Community Answer
    Do what feels right to you. If you're not bi or gay, just tell him. If you are, then think about how you feel for him. If you don't like him romantically, you can just tell him. If you aren't sure, just tell him that you need to think about it. You don't need to rush figuring it out. Take your time.
  • Question
    How am I sure that a guy is gay?
    Community Answer
    You can't always tell that a guy is gay just by the way he acts. If you want to attempt to figure out without asking, try seeing if he romanticizes men or flirts with them. If you don't see things like this happen, find a way to ask him. Just don't come off as rude.
  • Question
    How do I know how big he is?
    Community Answer
    His size doesn't matter. Small guys can be just as great. If you want to know, though, try asking.
  • Question
    What's the difference between gay men and bisexual men?
    Mystical_Tale
    Community Answer
    Gay men are men who only like men. Bisexual men are men who like both men and women.
  • Question
    I know a man who is married, but I feel he is interested in me. How do I know for sure?
    Community Answer
    I know it's flattering and exciting, but it's not a good idea to get involved with a married man. If he is truly interested in you and no longer interested in his wife, he'll get a divorced. Keep your relationship strictly platonic, and explore other dating options.
  • Question
    How can I seduce my gay friend?
    Community Answer
    Ask him if he'd like to come to your house (or apartment) to play cards or a board game to pass the time some day (or night!). Maybe you both could play a game on your computer, if you have such software. You could watch a DVD, video or other activity instead of a game too. Once he's in your own home environment, you'll both feel more comfortable and you can let the seduction begin. You can read How to Seduce Your Friend for ideas on the next steps to take.
  • Question
    Do gay men have any certain poses or come-on gestures?
    Community Answer
    Not really. Every person is different. Some people are over the top, and some people are chill.
  • Question
    How can I attract a guy through chat?
    Community Answer
    Maybe talk to him about something that would turn you on, but if it's your first move, then don't get too crazy with what you want to say. Start slowly and follow his reactions.
  • Question
    How can I seduce my straight friend?
    Community Answer
    You can't. If you're gay and he's straight, then it's not going to work. If you're gay and he's "curious" then there may be a possibility for some "experimentation," but don't expect anything more. Just accept that he's your straight friend and let it stay that way.
  • Question
    What if I don't know if I am gay, even though pornographic photos of men turn me on?
    Community Answer
    This could be sexual experimentation, or you could be attracted to men. Consider the possibility of you being bisexual. However, it is also normal to be attracted to sexual images without being attracted to that kind of sexual relationship.
  • Question
    I am interested in this guy. I invited him to lunch and we both had a great time. He has accepted my gifts. Is he interested in me?
    Community Answer
    The best way to find out is to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't like you, you will know.
  • Question
    How do I turn a straight boy gay?
    Community Answer
    You can't. You have to let him choose what he wants to be.
  • Question
    What if I'm an amputee?
    Community Answer
    You can use the same methods. Some people might be wary of dating an amputee but you'll have no trouble finding plenty of people who would love to go out with you.
  • Question
    A young man mentioned that I am very handsome. (I think he is gorgeous.) Does that mean he's interested?
    Community Answer
    Making an observation about someone's attractiveness can be a sign, but isn't always. My mom tells me I'm a good-looking young man all the time, for example. Other signs, like whether this young man seems to enjoy your company and seek out conversation with you, should be taken into account.
  • Question
    How do I approach a guy when I'm not sure he's gay?
    Community Answer
    Try obsering him more and watching for signs. If you still are not sure you can ask. Be very polite and ask him straight up. To be safe, consider having a good friend with you, just in case the guy is homophobic; he will be more likely to back off in that case, than attack you verbally or physically.
  • Question
    How do I tell if I'm gay or not?
    Neutral_boy
    Community Answer
    It's simple, sit in a nice calm place think about relationships and marriages. If the first image in your head is a handsome boy you may be homosexual.
  • Question
    I went down on my friend when he was drunk, but he doesn't remember. Is this possible?
    Community Answer
    Yes, this is possible. However, you should avoid having sex with someone for the first time when they're drunk as they're not capable of giving reliable consent.
  • Question
    If I prefer to be the feminine one only, how do I let the guy know it?
    Community Answer
    Flirt in a "feminine" way. Act a little shy. If you're dancing, shake your butt a lot to draw a guy's attention there. Maybe you can even add a little eyeliner for a "pretty boy" look. Tell some dirty jokes that suggest what you're thinking about.
  • Question
    A guy keeps saying he loves me and keeps wanting to spend time with me. I don't know if he likes me like that, though. How can I be sure?
    Katie Selner
    Community Answer
    If a guy is saying he loves you, pay attention to his manner. Does he say it flippantly or does it seem important? Also, be careful! If this is a guy you don't know well take it slow and keep your distance. You don't know who he is or what he's capable of. And in my experience, when a guy says he likes or loves you he is usually just obsessed and it will fade over time.
  • Question
    What should I do if this guy buys me coffee every morning?
    Community Answer
    Well it sounds like he's definitely interested. Asking him to clarify wouldn't be a bad idea, but if you don't want to address him like that, you could try just waving him over and introducing yourself.
  • Question
    How can I seduce a straight guy if I do not admit that I'm gay?
    Dorothy Joan Bonanno
    Community Answer
    Flirt with this guy and send him hints that you're into him. He'll get it eventually. But if he is straight he may not be willing to be seduced, and you must accept that.
  • Question
    Do you have any recommendations on where to meet a mature gay men aged 50 and over?
    Community Answer
    You could try putting an ad on Craigslist, asking for replies from men ranging in ages from 40 to 70. Craigslist works for all ages.
  • Question
    How do I know if a gay man has male genitalia?
    Community Answer
    You ask! Do NOT be afraid to ask, particularly if you anticipate romantic involvement.
  • Question
    How do I seduce my straight friend or make him interested in me and have more time with me?
    Community Answer
    You cannot seduce a straight person into a homosexual relationship. You can't change who he is. If you want to spend more time with him as a friend, tell him that! Just say something like, "I really have fun around you, do you think we could hang out more?"
  • Question
    How do I find other gay people when I'm gay?
    Community Answer
    Online dating sites or apps are good places to be open about your sexuality. Just always be careful about the information you give out in an online forum.
  • Question
    Is it possible to be a straight male who occasionally likes to bottom?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it's not as strange as it might seem. Many straight guys like to be penetrated by a woman using a sex toy. (And plenty of straight guys occasionally have sex with men as well.)
  • Question
    Is it okay to want to sleep with my wife's gay best friend?
    Community Answer
    There's nothing wrong with wanting to do that, but unless you and your wife have an open marriage or some other sort of polyamorous arrangement, you should not actually do it.
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