Q&A for How to Talk Dirty on the Phone

Return to Full Article

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    Is dirty talk healthy?
    Jacqueline Hellyer
    Relationship Coach
    Jacqueline Hellyer is a Licensed Psychosexual Therapist and the Founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. With over 20 years of experience, Jacqueline specializes in sex advice, sex tips, and relationship advice. In addition to being an accredited Psychosexual Therapist with the Society of Australian Sexologists (SAS), Jacqueline is also a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF). Jacqueline holds a BSc in Biochemistry and Human Sciences from The Australian National University, a Graduate Diploma in Applied Science from the University of Canberra, a BA in Languages and Literature from the University of New England (AU), an MSc in Sexual Health from The University of Sydney, and an MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality & Transpersonal Psychology from The Alef Trust. Her work and expertise have been featured in Australian Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Australian Women’s Health, Marie Claire, and 60 Minutes.
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Absolutely! In fact, it shouldn't be called "dirty" talk at all—talking sexually is a normal, healthy, and positive thing to do.
  • Question
    I always start a sex conversation on the phone and my partner says she doesn't like it. Is there a way for me to make her start liking it?
    Community Answer
    You can't "make" her like anything. If she doesn't enjoy it, don't put her in that kind of a position. Respect her and respect her wishes and her desires.
  • Question
    What does it mean when my boyfriend says 'send me some hot pics'?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    He wants to see your body, completely naked, in an erotic pose. Think carefully here. Will these pictures be posted on the Internet, on social media? Will he show them to his friends? Never let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. Set boundaries and stick to them. A naked shoulder or leg can also be erotic.
  • Question
    My boyfriend wants my naked pictures, and he wants to have sex with me, but he committed that he will never leave me in difficult situations. What can I do?
    BreezyDeezy
    Community Answer
    If your boyfriend is pressuring you after you have told him that you don't want to, he doesn't deserve you. People who really care about you will respect you and won't pressure you to do things you're not comfortable with.
  • Question
    Why do you need to kill your underwear?
    Community Answer
    There is no real need to; however, it does contribute to the mood and can give your partner a turn on. It lets your partner in on the action when he/she pictures you slowly stripping.
  • Question
    How can I start a "dirty talk date" without it being awkward?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Whether on the phone or in real life, start small. For example, ask for the color of the other person's underwear. Make sure to listen to the reply, then take it from there.
  • Question
    Why can't I just do it in person?
    Community Answer
    You can do it in person, but you can also do it on the phone if you want to.
  • Question
    How do I talk dirty on the phone if I'm the more submissive of the two of us?
    Community Answer
    Talk as you would during sex. Make your significant other feel as though they have control over you.
  • Question
    What if it's over text?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    The point is to keep an interesting sexual attraction to your partner going while you're away from each other. You can use any method of communication you prefer. However, at least two things come to mind. Texting is not as instantaneous as a voice call. You get no feedback from intonation as to whether your partner is liking it, and people are usually not entirely focused on a text conversation, at least not to the extent as a phone call. Also, remember that texts are usually kept. You may say some stuff in the heat of the moment, that you would not say in normal conversation. On the phone, there's generally no record of it.
  • Question
    What does it mean if my boyfriend wants to see me in action?
    Community Answer
    He is probably wanting to see you in person and not just over the phone.
  • Question
    When we have phone sex, it's mostly me talking. How do I get him to start talking dirty to me?
    Community Answer
    Ask him questions! Ask him what he's doing to himself, what he wants to do to you, or what he wants you to do to yourself. If this doesn't help, bring it up sometime when you're not having phone sex. Just say, "Hey, when we have phone sex, you never say much. I want to know that you're into it just as much as I am, so don't be afraid to talk!"
  • Question
    Is it okay if we do this on FaceTime?
    Community Answer
    Yes. This could be applied to any conversation, whether on phone, in chat or in video chat.
  • Question
    What are some tips to consider when I run out of things to say?
    Community Answer
    Phone sex doesn't have to be exclusively dirty talking. While it can be hot, just rambling on and on often gets a little boring after a few minutes. Spread out what you're going to say over an appropriate time frame. When you're not speaking, make noises and enjoy yourself, and listen to your partner doing the same.
  • Question
    How can I become kinky over the phone?
    Community Answer
    It's more difficult to involve kinky aspects over the phone, but it's definitely not impossible. Some things you could do include calling them certain things (whether it be a pet name or something a little more explicit), telling them what to do, and denying their pleasure/orgasm (i.e. telling them to stop and cool down for a couple minutes before they continue, to enhance their orgasm and maybe bring out some nice sounds).
  • Question
    What if my lover is the same gender as me?
    Community Answer
    It doesn't matter. Still follow the same basic process.
  • Question
    Do I use a condom to be on the safe side if I am about to have sex?
    Community Answer
    Yes, condoms and birth control will help you two stay safe. Remember to get tested for STDS as well.
  • Question
    Do young girls like phone sex?
    Community Answer
    Some young girls like phone sex, but others don't. It's always important to ask the girl ahead of time if she's okay with having phone sex.
  • Question
    Should I breathe heavily?
    Community Answer
    No, I wouldn't breathe too heavily. It could be loud or annoying for the other person.
  • Question
    What if the guy I am talking to only talks about sex and related things? There is never a time when he isn't being kinky about something if it's over the phone or even in person.
    Community Answer
    This guy is either too self-absorbed to recognize his behavior is off-putting, or he's a sex addict (or both). Respect yourself enough to disconnect and find some new friends.
Ask a Question

      Return to Full Article