Q&A for How to Talk to a Girl You Like

Here's a great rule: you never want to say something to a girl you're meeting that would upset your girlfriend if you had one. In other words, you don't want to say anything sketchy or sexual. You want to open with something light and innocent.

The best way to approach a girl, start a conversation, or impress someone you just met is to be very sincere, genuine, and honest. And it can be as simple as saying, "Hi, I just saw you and wanted to meet you." or "I wanted to say 'Hi,' my name is blank." I advise approaching the situation with some vulnerability, authenticity, and a light playfulness. That's a really good way to break the ice.

Anything that makes a girl feel uncomfortable should be avoided. You don't want to unexpectedly go in for a kiss when you've barely flirted or gotten to know a girl. You also don't want to touch girls without their permission.

Well, you can always talk to her and ask. Or you can talk to her friends. You can be observant, but be careful that you don't come off as stalker-ish. It's best to be up-front about your interest.

Whatever you do, stop making eye contact. Or, to say it better, stop making nothing but eye contact. This can get very creepy very quickly. Where she might have 'caught your eye' once, doing this more than once becomes 'that guy who keeps staring at me'. Moreover, if she returned your eye contact, that's a small sign that she would maybe like you to come over and talk a little; the fact that you haven't done so yet may well be disappointing to her. So forget all this nonsense - go to her, say hi. Listen more than you speak, keep it short, and do this often.

Count on her. She's responsible for half the conversation, after all. Ask how she is feeling, tell her a small personal thing about yourself, but keep it short, small and simple. It's OK if your first few things are boring, you can't get to fifth gear without going through first gear first. So say hi, ask her what she thought about this or felt about that, then - and this is key - listen to her. If she says her brother was sick, remember that, and the next day ask if he's feeling better. But trust that she will carry the conversation as well.

Say "hello" and introduce yourself. Make a friendly comment about the weather, or pay her a (respectful) compliment. If she seems like she doesn't want to talk to you, don't push the issue. Some women do not like being approached in public by strangers.

Whenever you will love someone in your life, chances are it will be someone who already was in your circle of friends. It takes some time to know someone before feelings develop, and falling in love on the first day you meet someone is not really love, it's desire. That is to your advantage that she's such a good friend: you already know a lot about her. It's natural that feelings grow, and that's not wrong, so she can't reproach you for it. Think of things she likes and talk about that. Let her know how you feel.

As soon as you like someone, say hi. Get to know the person, and provide an opportunity to know you. If you keep it to yourself, your feelings will develop out of sync with hers; they will develop for an image of her in your head, not the actual person she is. Finally, if you've tried and it didn't work, it's not that you did something wrong, it's that she doesn't feel the same way. So stop trying, find someone else to love, say hi.

Try to reduce the meaning of your "hi" to the smallest possible context. If it's just "hi" without the subtext of "I'm desperately in love with you, please kiss me and love me too", then she'll be glad to say hi back, and how are you; you listen to her, share something with her, and end the conversation as quickly as possible, then come back to it the next day. You don't need to be good at it, you just need to do it. To ever get to all the things you dream of, at some point you're going to have to just say hi. Luckily, in the battle between fear and desire, the latter always wins.

You can offer, but if she says she'll find another way to get there, don't push the issue. She may not want you to know where she lives because she doesn't know you.

You could casually bring it up in a conversation, or get to know her more, then ask.

It doesn't matter who is gay or straight or bi or anything else. Here is a person who has found feelings for you inside of them; this in itself is genuinely nice. But there are only two options for him: either you like him back or you don't. Even if you were also gay doesn't mean you automatically have to like him back. Nobody likes to hurt other people's feelings, so be kind and gentle when you turn him down. But you have to turn him down, because the alternative is ignoring your own feelings just to make someone else happy. Be compassionate; after all, you are in essentially the same situation with the girl you like.

It's very normal that it gets awkward, and that's OK. I wouldn't sweat it too much. You're actually doing a great job so far. You like her, she likes you back, and you managed to have a few conversations. For the next step you have quite a few options: kiss, go on a date, show trust, sex, even, if that applies. But whatever you do, make sure you include one thing: show her something that's in your heart. Actually let her know, in explicit words, that you like her, and make a big deal out of it, too. Actually plan time to be alone and tell her you like her. It's good to be sure of things sometimes.

You may find some helpful advice in wikiHow article Approach a Girl if You're Shy and Don't Know What to Say .

Consider what you ultimately want. There's a desire inside all of us (including her) to have love, passion, sex, safety, warmth with a partner. The road from here to a long-term relationship is long, but at some point, if you want things to happen with her, you're going to have to say hi. It's a battle between fear and desire; just trust that desire will always win. At some point you'll want her more than you're afraid of being rejected. Just go slow, say hi, listen to her, get to know her. Next, there's the potential to get rejected, and that's fine. Heal, pick yourself up, try again with someone new.

It looks like there isn't much left to do but to accept the fact that it didn't work out. The fact that she didn't give you any signs that she wants more is also a sign in itself: no sign is a sign that she's not interested. However, in the future, approach this differently. Instead of telling your friend you like her, flirt, act, use no words to show this, and watch closely for her non-verbal response.

It is not entirely your job to make it interesting or keep it going; it's only half your job. What you do is think of something that interests you. The other person can then choose to engage on that topic, or be polite and stick with it for a minimum until introducing a new topic. Same with keeping it going. You can offer additional ideas that link to this, and the other person can choose to keep it going or not. At the same time, your conversation partner is doing this too, and you can choose whether you want to talk about the subject or not.

Trust that she will carry half the conversation as well. Keep it short. Next time you greet each other, stop her, say hi, introduced yourself and ask her name. Ask her something small, like what she does for work, or what she's studying at school, and listen to what she answers. Then, end the conversation. Do it again the next time you see her, and come back to what she said. If she had a test, ask how it went; if her brother was sick, ask if he's better. Share something of your own personal thoughts. Ask her number, ask her out on a date, but only if you feel she wants to.

You can start a conversation with her by just talking about the relationship you currently have and your situation. Then ask politely and respectfully if she'd like to pursue something with you.

Tell them you have one, but you're not going to tell. This way you'll come across as mysterious and people will be drawn to you more because you've got secrets. Its a great and easy way. If not this, then tell her to tell her secrets first by saying: "Ladies first."

Unfortunately, you do not. Let the pain run its course, cry, there's nothing wrong with that; lean on your friends for comfort, then pick yourself up and try again with someone new. You'll get rejected over and over again--everybody does--but the love you do find is worth all the rejection in the world. If she has clearly stated she doesn't like you, that's where it ends. And remember, it doesn't mean you're unlikable, it only means she doesn't like you, and that's allowed.

I think you did great; at least you had a conversation, and that's hard enough as it is. So what if you stumbled a little and were lost for words. You have a precedent, now follow through. Say "Boy was I stumbling over my words the other day, right?" You will never know if she likes you until you talk to her more, and the more you talk, the more she has a chance to like you more if those feelings grow. And if not, you might become good friends.

Go up to her and start a conversation. She will love compliments (but not in a creepy way). You could say something like "I saw you from across the store and I think you look very nice.". It might feel uncomfortable at first, but you'll feel more confident afterwards. You'll feel proud of yourself for your courage and she'll feel good about herself.

You definitely already have her attention. Imagine you're standing on a busy town square filled with hired extras walking about randomly and the challenge is to identify which one is walking up to talk to you. Even from a mile away, you just know. There's intent, body language, direction, conviction, purpose, eye-contact, etc. What you do to not get too scared is to want less from her. I understand, you dream of her love for you, but no one in the history of humanity has ever gotten an "I love you too" as a reply to a first "hello". So hope for a "hello" from her, and hope it might grow into love over time.

Write her a short note. Keep it light. Invite her to have lunch with you.

Ask a question related to your story! "Did you ever have anything like that happen?" Or, "My aunt thinks the ghost was just my imagination. What do you think?"

From my point of view, it seems more likely that she got tired of waiting for you to get the hint to talk to her and that's why she no longer wants to converse, rather than some other dude attracting her interest over you. If she ignores and rebuffs you, leave her alone. Either she'll be relieved you left her alone, or she'll miss your attention and do some hunting of her own.