Q&A for How to Urinate in the Ocean Discreetly

No. In the ocean, both men and women can urinate standing up or sitting down.

No, peeing in the ocean is harmless. Human urine is 95% water. The urea in urine combines with ocean water to form ammonium, which acts as food for ocean plant life.

All marine life is afraid of you, they will swim away. They also avoid pollutants in the water, and will not be attracted to it. It also dilutes very rapidly in the currents.

You could, but you don't want to hold it for too long or you could risk causing some damage to yourself internally.

Yes, that shouldn't be an issue. If you like, you can move your swimsuit to the side a little to avoid direct contact with the cloth.

Yes, but that would be disgusting. If you need to defecate, leave the water and find a restroom.

Please don't pee in the swimming pool, it's gross and unhygienic. Just get out, go to the bathroom, then continue your swimming fun.

Yes, but you risk infection. If you are wearing one, change your tampon afterward.

Never, ever pee in the pool. Use the bathroom like everyone else.

Find a private spot, dig a little hole, and relieve yourself there, sure. Cover it back up afterward. The rain and sea do wash the sand as well, so it will be taken up into the world's water cycle anyway. However, don't do this on a crowded beach, make sure kids won't go digging and playing there, and definitely do not poop in the sand.

Thinking of something funny might work; laughing can open up your bladder. Pretending you are in the bathroom might help. But don't overthink it, just let it happen.

It's really unsanitary, so I would say no.

This may bother you, but just pee in your swimsuit or trunks. I recommend doing it as you swim away from the area you were just in.

Absolutely not. Much depends on the volume of water in the recipient you're peeing in. An ocean is big enough that one little pee won't make much of a difference. A sea, too, is large enough, as are most lakes. Swimming pools, apart from being man-made, and man-maintained, are clear, and small; too small to have even one pee. Hot tubs are even smaller, and since pools are already forbidden, hot tubs are definitively off limits, regardless of any turbulence.

Just pee in the wetsuit. It cannot escape, and you can't get out of it. Just let it flow. If you're cold, peeing in the wetsuit will warm you up, too.

If you're having your period, then there isn't much difference between peeing and not peeing as you swim. The blood and other menstrual liquids exit your body through a different canal than your urine. If you are menstruating, then there will be some blood in the ocean whether you pee or not. But sharks are not like magnets - they won't come racing towards you from miles away just because there's a drop of blood. If you're worried, don't swim.

Normally, the ocean is opaque enough that no one will notice. If you are really concerned, try to find some excuse to move, such as saying you want to see how fast you can swim, then swim away from people. Do your business after you have started moving, but try to keep moving the whole time. That way, if there is anything visible, it will be far enough away that most people won't notice it. If they do, they won't know what it is or that it was caused by you.

No, you should not expose that. You pee with your swim suit on. If you feel that you may have a scent or stain your swim suit you can pull your suit of to the side a little but do not fully expose your privates.

Either works, just make sure that you are not standing to close to your friend when you go. Also, avoid urinating in white or lightly colored swim suits.

Say that your pants fell down. They won't know that you are acutally peeing. Go out in deeper water and away from children when you are peeing.

If you don't want to pee in the shower, the ocean, or anywhere other than the toilet, that's perfectly fine. You're a well-raised, respectful human being, and there's no need to change anything. However, the mind is a curious thing. If you think "Seeing a spoon makes me hungry" for long enough, at some point that will indeed make you hungry, and it will take equally long to again get rid of this idea. So if you want to pee in the shower, think about peeing in the shower every time you step into the shower.

You could keep running into the seawater to clean yourself. Once you are wet from the seawater, nobody will know any different. Or you could wrap a towel around you and go back to the toilet block on the beach.

Swim out a little farther, but not so far that you could get caught in the tide. Honestly, nobody's going to notice, even if you pee right next to someone, and if it's really crowded, no one would even be able to say for sure that you did it.

No. That is very unhygienic and very unsanitary - it will lead to pool closure while they clean it. Furthermore, no one wants to see your private parts and I'm sure the lifeguards don't either. Ask a lifeguard to use a bathroom that can be used until that restroom is completely fixed, or at worst, go behind a tree.

Don't worry about it. If you are in the ocean, your peeing is not going to be noticeable.

Go out a bit farther, but not too far, and pee there. If you need to poop, ask someone to hand you a towel, wrap that around your waist, and poop in a toilet.

You can go in an actual toilet, behind a rock, bush, or tree.

You could get out of the water and go behind a tree or large rock, or you could use a toilet if there's one.

Nobody should be able to see, if they do and they don't make a fuss, you should be fine. Don't be embarrassed, lots of people do that.

If you can hold it until you go back to shore, do that and take care of your poop in the toilet. If you can't, make sure there's no one around you while you do your business.