Taking Responsibility for Your Actions: How to Do It and Why It’s Important

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Discover the benefits of owning up to your actions
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Do you want to feel like you’re more in control of your life? Taking responsibility is when you stop blaming others for your choices and recognize you’re in the driver's seat. Acknowledging your actions and keeping your promises are great ways to start accepting responsibility, and there are so many more ways. Whether you want to take accountability in your personal or professional life, keep reading for more helpful advice about how to be responsible for your actions and how it can improve your outlook on life.

This article is based on an interview with our mindset and action coach, Kirsten Parker. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Taking responsibility means accepting and recognizing what part you played during a situation rather than shifting the blame.
  • Take more responsibility for your actions by thinking through your feelings before reacting. Acknowledge your own actions so you can move forward.
  • Benefits of taking responsibility include feeling less stressed, being more open in your relationships, and feeling more in control over your decisions.
Section 1 of 3:

What does taking responsibility mean?

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  1. Rather than blaming another person or an outside force when there’s a mistake or conflict, taking responsibility for your actions means looking for what part you had in the issue and moving forward from it. Instead of playing the victim or making an excuse, you take ownership over your choices and feelings, whether they’re positive or negative.
    • It’s normal to slip up every now and then, so taking accountability doesn’t mean never making a mistake. Instead, it means you’re able to see what power you have over the situation to improve how you’re feeling. [1]
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Section 2 of 3:

How to Take Responsibility for Your Actions

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  1. When you say that you’re going to do something and accept the responsibilities, follow through with your actions completely. Make a list of everything that you need to get done to fulfill your promise , and be sure to do it all so others can trust you with the responsibilities. [2]
    • Example : If you told a classmate that you were going to do half the work on a school project, be sure to divide the work evenly and complete your share on your own.
    • Taking responsibility also makes it more likely that other people will treat you with the same respect and follow through with their responsibilities as well.
  2. When you’re having a difficult time and your first reaction is to shift blame, slow down and try doing breathing exercises , going for a quick walk, or reaching out to a friend to calm yourself. That way, you have a second to think through what you’re actually accountable for and what was out of your control.
    • Example : If you had an argument with a friend, excuse yourself and go somewhere private to regain your composure so you don’t shift the blame.
    • Remember that you’re in control of your emotions and reactions, so try to stay positive and forward-thinking rather than dwelling on what just happened.
  3. When you’re making an apology or discussing an issue, focus on what you have done rather than making excuses. Even if you weren’t fully responsible for what happened, own up and take accountability for the part you had in it. Recognize how your actions affected other people and empathize with them so they feel validated about their experience. [3]
    • Example : If your partner feels hurt by something you said, you may take responsibility by saying, “I’m sorry that I had a harsh tone and didn’t think through my words carefully. I completely understand how what I said made you upset.”
  4. After taking responsibility for your actions, it’s completely normal to feel a little uncomfortable or ashamed of the impact you had. Rather than pushing negative thoughts aside or dwelling on them for a long time, acknowledge how you’re feeling without rushing to change your emotions. Sit with your thoughts, and try journaling or meditating so you’re more aware of your feelings. [4]
    • Example : If you missed an important deadline, let yourself be upset for a moment and reflect on what you can do differently in the future.
    • Avoiding your negative emotions may prevent you from accepting full responsibility and also can make you feel more anxious about those feelings in the future. [5]
  5. Even if someone acts in a way that you’re not happy with, you’re still the one in control of your own thoughts and feelings. When you’re upset or feel negatively toward someone, question if they really deserve the blame that you’re assigning them. While you still can be frustrated or upset over some of the actions they’re responsible for, ask yourself if your feelings are true and if you’re being fair to their situation. [6]
    • Example : If you planned a date and your partner is running late, it’s okay to be a little frustrated about their punctuality. However, try to challenge and move past negative thoughts like, “They’re never reliable,” or, “They don’t care enough about me.”
  6. Take a second to figure out what you need in the moment to calm yourself down and feel better about your actions. Try to avoid judging yourself and practice self-compassion instead. Maybe you just need to take a short walk to collect your thoughts, go on a small break from work, or plan a relaxing evening to soothe the negative feelings you’re holding onto. [7]
    • Try doing a comforting activity that you know will put you in a better mood. Cook yourself a meal, put on your favorite movie, or take a warm bath to feel more content with yourself.
    • Set goals for yourself that you can work toward to continue your focus on self-improvement and making positive life changes.
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Section 3 of 3:

Why is it important to take responsibility?

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  1. When you admit to your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions, you feel good because you can start making changes for the better. Holding onto your negative feelings and dwelling on your mistakes can make you more stressed because they start feeling like a fundamental part of who you are. Just owning up to what you’re responsible for can take a major weight off your shoulders. [8]
  2. Even when you’re accepting responsibility for a mistake or negative behavior, you’ll recognize that you may not always have control over everything that happens, but you can control how you react in response. [9] You’ll be more aware of your thoughts and actions, so you’ll feel like you’re able to make better, more informed decisions going forward.
  3. When you take full ownership of your actions, you get a better perspective on problems and can quickly work toward new ways of solving them. Rather than blaming someone else or feeling stuck waiting for them, taking responsibility makes you focus your full attention on an issue so you get the results you want. [10]
    • Example : When you take responsibility for a missed deadline at work, you may look toward solutions like setting progress checkpoints or putting reminders in your calendar so it doesn’t happen again in the future.
  4. When you recognize where you’ve made mistakes and how your actions affect others, you’re more open to discussions and will act more accountable in your relationship. Because you’re not blaming the other person for issues between you, you’ll be able to build a stronger connection where you work together to solve problems. [11]
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      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about responsibility, check out our in-depth interview with Kirsten Parker, MFA .


      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/202201/why-taking-honest-responsibility-can-make-you-happy
      2. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/build-trust/
      3. ↑ https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/apologize
      4. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/negative-emotions-key-well-being/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/we-are-responsible-for-our-own-feelings#tips
      7. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_is_self_compassion_so_hard_for_some_people
      8. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_some_people_own_mistakes_and_others_dont
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/202201/why-taking-honest-responsibility-can-make-you-happy
      1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2012/08/take-ownership-of-your-actions
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/202201/why-taking-honest-responsibility-can-make-you-happy

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