Is He a Manchild? Sabrina Carpenter’s Song & Gen Z Dating

PDF download Download Article
Breaking down the lyrics and viral success of Sabrina’s new song
PDF download Download Article

Sabrina Carpenter’s new hit song ‘Manchild’ is going viral on TikTok thanks to its accurate and cheeky portrayal of manchildren, or men who are immature and seemingly stuck in boyhood. But why is this song in particular resonating with so many people, especially Gen Z, and what’s going on with the viral TikTok dance that uses snippets from the song? Don’t worry—in this article, we break down everything you need to know about manchildren, Sabrina’s takedown of them, and why the lyrics and reaction to the song are a bit more nuanced than you might think.

Why is ‘Manchild’ going viral on TikTok?

Many people relate to Sabrina’s frustration with dating a “manchild.” In the song, Sabrina describes the guy she’s with as forgetful, helpless, and not very smart, but she also admits that she tends to be drawn to guys like that. People on TikTok are posting videos of themselves dancing to the part where she sings Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get / And I like my men all incompetent , showing they experience the same dilemma.

Section 1 of 5:

Understanding the 'Manchild' Archetype in Relationships

PDF download Download Article
  1. According to Swiss psychologist Marie-Louis von Franz, a manchild is a man who “remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in a youth of seventeen or eighteen are continued into later life.” [1] In other words, a manchild is a man with the emotional maturity, habits, and attitude of a young boy. And while that can sometimes be charming and endearing, it can also cause a lot of frustration when you’re the one dating a manchild, which is why Sabrina’s song has seemed to strike a chord with so many people.
  2. You said your phone was broken, just forgot to charge it / Whole outfit you're wearing, God, I hope it's ironic, she sings in the first verse, poking fun at how irresponsible manchildren are (you can’t even charge your phone, really?) and how helpless they can be (do you still need your mom to pick out your clothes for you?). The song is an anthem for all of the women and men who have found themselves dating an immature, reckless, unserious man, but still can’t resist ( Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get / And I like my men all incompetent ).
    3. Advertisement
Section 2 of 5:

Decoding the Viral ‘Manchild’ Verse

PDF download Download Article
  1. The bridge starts with Sabrina singing Hey men in a cheeky tone, followed by, Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get / And I like my men all incompetent / And I swear they choose me, I'm not choosing them / Amen, hey, men. Seemingly everyone on TikTok, including celebs like Anne Hathaway , are posting videos of themselves dancing with this part of the song playing in the background.
  2. The verse perfectly sums up the frustrating reality of dating a manchild: they may be incompetent and immature, but they’re also fun and irresistible at the same time. So while Sabrina is criticizing how seemingly brainless and childish some men can be, she’s also admitting that she actually likes men like that, even if they end up driving her crazy. And clearly a lot of people can relate!
    3. Advertisement
Section 3 of 5:

How to Join in on the 'Manchild' TikTok Trend

PDF download Download Article
  1. Here’s a clip of Sabrina herself doing the dance with a couple of friends. There are also dozens of tutorials on TikTok that teach the dance to you, including this one by user Kaylortor that breaks down each step.
  2. Throw on a cute outfit, grab some friends (or dance solo), and play the viral verse from the song as you do the dance. Don’t be afraid to get silly—the verse and dance are meant to be tongue-in-cheek!
  3. Add the viral verse from the song to the background of your video, and now you’re ready to join the thousands of people expressing their mixed feelings of love and frustration for the manchildren in their lives!
    4. Advertisement
Section 4 of 5:

Navigating Relationships in the Age of 'Manchildren'

PDF download Download Article
  1. A manchild might forget important commitments, never help with housework, avoid serious conversations about the future, and just in general not seem to take your feelings or relationship very seriously, all of which can really start to take a toll on you. [2] If that’s the case, talk to him about how his behavior is affecting you, and set firm boundaries about what you are and aren’t willing to accept.
    • Clinical psychologist Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS, has this great advice about boundaries in relationships: “When we are establishing our boundaries, it is important that we voice [our] desires. Never assume that someone is aware of your personal boundaries, even if you consider these boundaries a no-brainer. Convey your message with a peaceful and calm voice. Voice each message with an I-statement." [3]
  2. If your manchild is causing you more stress than happiness, it might be time to move on. Licensed marriage & family therapist Lia Huynh, LMFT, says to watch out for “someone who does not take accountability for their actions or tries to rationalize or blame you for their wrongdoings. I’m not saying they have to admit guilt every time. However, they should at least sometimes show empathy for how it makes you feel." [4] If they can’t even do that, you definitely deserve better!
    3. Advertisement
Section 5 of 5:

Final Thoughts

PDF download Download Article
  1. Its viral success and trending TikTok dance show just how much women and men around the world relate to the song’s lyrics about being both annoyed with and drawn to manchildren. If you have your own experience (or experiences!) with dating a manchild, join in on the viral TikTok trend by posting a video of your own. And if you’re currently dating a manchild, don’t be afraid to set firm boundaries with him.

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      What Does "Babygirl" Mean? Defining the Gen Z Slang
      What’s a Male Manipulator & Male Manipulator Music?
      Sassy Man Apocalypse: Meaning, Origins, & Toxic Masculinity
      When Do Men Emotionally Mature? (And Why It Matters for Relationships)
      The Meaning Behind Sabrina Carpenter’s Hit "Espresso"
      What’s a Performative Male? Everything You Need to Know
      Sabrina Carpenter Lyric Quiz
      What Does “I’m Just a Girl” Mean? The TikTok Trend Explained
      What Does It Mean When Someone Calls You Lover Boy?
      "He's a 10 but..." Quiz Game (Freaky Edition)
      Am I a Male Manipulator Quiz (TikTok Edition)
      What Does “Simp” Mean?
      65+ Funny Red Flags to Look Out for in Dating & Friendships
      The Psychology of a Womanizer (Plus, Signs You're Dealing with One)
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://academyofideas.com/2019/06/carl-jung-psychology-of-man-child/
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201510/5-signs-you-might-be-dating-a-man-child
      3. ↑ Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ Lia Huynh, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,042 times.

      Is this article up to date?

      Advertisement