What to Say to Keep a Dying Conversation Going over Text

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Banish your dry text convos with these talking points
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Texting is a great way to keep in touch when you can't hang out with someone in person, but it can sometimes be a little hard to keep the conversation going. If you're not ready to say goodbye but it feels like the chat is stalling out, you may be able to give things a boost by changing the subject or circling back around to something you've already talked about. Not sure where to start? Don't worry—there are a lot of different things you can try.

Below, we've listed 16 different things you can say to liven up your text convos—including some expert tips from certified professional matchmaker Julia McCurley.

How to Save Your Dying Text Convos

  • Ask about the other person's day, or share something about your day.
  • Reference something that you discussed earlier in the convo.
  • Ask for a recommendation or their opinion on something.
  • Connect over something you both like, like your favorite show.
  • Give them a compliment, or get flirty (if you're texting a crush).
  • Ask them to hang out or if they want to call instead.
  • Give them some space or end the conversation for now.

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1

"What are you up to lately?"

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  1. It might seem basic, but people don't always get much of a chance to talk about themselves. Let the other person know you're genuinely interested in what they have going on, and hopefully, they'll feel comfortable opening up. You might find out that they've been working on a cool new project, or they might share that they're having a hard time—whatever they say, build on it by asking follow-up questions. If it doesn't lead anywhere, move on to something else. [1]
    • Remember to ask open-ended questions the other person can elaborate on, rather than questions that can be answered "yes" or "no." For instance, it's better to ask, "What did you do today?" instead of, "Did you have a good day?"
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2

"Tell me more about..."

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  1. One great way to revive a conversation is to circle back to something the other person already mentioned. You already know they're interested in talking about it, so ask them for a little more detail. That will show you're a good listener —and when you're interested in the person you're talking to, you automatically seem more interesting too. [2]
    • Try asking something like, "What did you end up choosing for dinner earlier? Was it any good?"
    • You might also say, "I meant to ask, but you said something about planning a trip next weekend. Where are you heading?"
3

"What are you watching these days?"

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  1. If you're not sure what to talk about next, try digging into what the other person is reading, watching, or listening to. If you've never heard of whatever they bring up, ask them to tell you a little more about it. [3]
    • This is especially great if they mention they've been spending a lot of time at home watching TV, reading books, or listening to podcasts. Just say something like, "I've been wanting to get into podcasts. Where should I start?" or "I need a new show to binge-watch, any suggestions?"
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4

"Did you see the latest episode…?"

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  1. Connect over something you have in common, like a TV show you both like. McCurley suggests bringing up a show you both like to reignite the conversation. [4] But always make sure to ask first—the other person might not be too happy if you accidentally spoil something for them!
    • If the other person has seen the episode, ask them about their thoughts, or share your own theories about what might be happening.
    • This works with just about anything you have in common, not just TV shows—you can also talk about movies, books, podcasts, games, and more.
5

"What do you think about...?"

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  1. Most people are more than happy to share their opinions about things. Use that to your advantage by posing a question that gives your pal the opportunity to tell you what they really think. Just avoid anything too serious—political and religious debates can get pretty heated, and it's easy to misinterpret tone over text. To be on the safe side, opt for something a little more lighthearted. [5]
    • Try saying something like, "Okay, I need your serious opinion. Be honest. Waffles, pancakes, or French toast? There's only one right answer."
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6

"Today I found out..."

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  1. Take the lead by talking about yourself for a bit. Don't feel like you constantly have to push the other person to talk about themselves—too much of that, and they might start to feel like they're being interrogated. If you need a pivot, talk about something interesting you've done recently. Hopefully, your chat partner will pick up the thread and ask you a couple of follow-up questions! [6]
    • For example, you might talk about something cool you learned in school, tell a funny story , or mention that it's the third day in a row you saw a rainbow.
    • If you haven't done much, try talking about something that's going on around you. Maybe your kid sister is dyeing your dog purple, or maybe you have new neighbors moving in, for instance.
    • You never know what will spark a conversation, so don't be afraid to throw out something random!
7

"You have the coolest..."

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  1. Flatter the other person with a compliment . You can never go wrong by saying something nice about the person you're talking to. McCurley says that if the conversation has stalled, try dropping in something you've always liked about them. [7] Even a casual compliment might encourage them to open up to you a little more. [8]
    • For instance, you might share something you really appreciate about them by saying something like, "You always make me feel better when I'm down. You're the best!" or "I miss your amazing smile." [9]
    • You might also mention something of theirs you really like, such as, "I meant to ask you where you got that awesome jacket you were wearing the other day. That looked so cool on you!"
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8

"I was just thinking about you."

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  1. Get a little flirty if you're chatting with a crush. If you've already been flirty in the conversation, it's likely okay to continue to be flirty. However, if the other person hasn't been overtly flirty with you, be cautious in what you say. If they don't seem to be reciprocating the same suggestive vibes as you, don't keep pressing—being too flirty might actually push them away.
    • If you just got out of the shower, McCurley suggests saying something like, "I just got out of the shower, and I was thinking about you." [10]
    • If you don't want to be too forward, try saying something like, "I just saw an ad for this new movie that made me think of you instantly." It could spark a conversation, and it could even lead to an opportunity to invite that person out to see the movie.
9

"You're never going to guess..."

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  1. Sometimes it takes a little encouragement to get someone really engaged in a conversation. Try amping up their interest by leaving them wondering what you're going to say next. Just make sure your follow-up is strong so they don't feel let down! [11]
    • If you have a great story to share, open by saying something like, "The craziest thing happened at work today," or "You'll never guess who I saw!"
    • This can also be a fun way to let the other person know you're thinking of them. If you're eating at a restaurant you know they love, for instance, you might say, "Guess where I am right now!" (Bonus points if you offer to bring them take-out.)
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10

"When you were a kid, did you...?"

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  1. Learn more about the person by asking about their childhood . If you're texting someone you don't know super-well, but you're pretty comfortable with each other, try asking questions to find out what they were like as a kid. This can tell you a lot about the person, from what their family life was like to what's important to them now. Just keep in mind that childhood memories can be tied to a lot of emotion, so try not to pry if something seems to be a little touchy. [12]
    • Try asking lighthearted questions like, "Who was your favorite Disney princess growing up?" or "Did you have any awesome holiday traditions as a kid?"
11

"Remember that time...?"

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  1. Bring up an inside joke or funny story. Get the other person smiling by bringing up a funny memory the two of you share. It could be a long-lost inside joke between you and your oldest friend, or it could be something silly the waiter said when you were on a date the weekend before. Just make sure it's something you both find funny—the other person might get annoyed if you're laughing about something they thought was embarrassing. [13]
    • If you can't think of anything, try sharing a funny meme with the person instead!
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12

"I was just wondering..."

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  1. Don't worry if it's cool or smart—go ahead and blurt it out. If you don't censor yourself, you might just come up with something super interesting. And as a bonus, you'll get to find out whether the other person vibes with your own personal brand of weirdness. [14]
    • For instance, you might say, "I was just wondering why people never evolved with purple hair," or "Have you ever noticed our math classroom always smells like mustard?"
13

"Are you free to video chat?"

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  1. If you feel like texting isn't quite giving you everything you want, see if the other person is up to talk on the phone or chat on a face-to-face video call. You can pick up on a lot more nuance that way, and it's a great option if you want to talk about something more in-depth than text can offer. [15]
    • If the other person says they can't talk because they're busy, you'll understand more about why the text conversation was starting to slow down!
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14

"Do you want to hang out later?"

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  1. Invite the other person to meet up so you can continue the convo in person. The other person might not be texting you back right away because they're busy, but they might be open to hanging out in person when they have some free time. You can then continue the conversation there. However, if you haven't met up with this person before, you likely want to avoid this option—asking someone you don't know well to meet up might creep them out, and this could lead to them not wanting to talk to you at all anymore.
    • Try saying something like, "If you're busy right now, maybe we could meet up later for some coffee and a chat!"
    • You also don't even have to mention the conversation at all. Simply ask something like, "Wanna grab a bite to eat later?" If they agree, this will give the conversation a chance to lull naturally until you meet up in person.
    • If the other person ends up declining the invite, don't take it personally. The other person might be busy, or they might not be in the mood to meet up. If this is the case, it's probably best to [#"Talk to you later!"|let the conversation end for now], and you can start up a new one later.
15

Nothing.

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  1. Sometimes when a text conversation slows down, it's because the other person is busy or bored of texting. Or, they might have something on their mind. Instead of trying to fill every moment of silence, give the other person some space so they can decide whether they want to take the lead in the conversation or just take a break for a bit.
    • You don't necessarily have to go full-on ghost, and don't turn it into a waiting game where you don't text the person back for exactly 17-and-a-half minutes. Just find something else to do for a little while and see if the other person is still feeling chatty.
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16

"Talk to you later!"

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  1. If the person you're texting is sending you short responses or lagging a lot between messages, they might be ready to take a break from texting. Instead of leaving things open-ended, give things a clear end with a friendly "Bye!" This will also make it easier to pop back in with a fresh conversation a day or two later. [16]
    • If your text conversations usually seem like they don't go anywhere, you and the other person might just not be connecting. That's totally fine—not everyone has to be interested in you. Focus your energy on the people who do want to spend time talking to you! [17]

Questions to Restart a Conversation

Join the Discussion...

How do you save a dry conversation?
wikiHow Editorial Team
Focus on asking open-ended questions, rather than yes-or-no questions. For example, if you’re getting to know a new friend or a date, you could say something like, “What was your experience like growing up in your hometown?” This allows them to answer in a longer, more thought-out way. On the other hand, if you ask a question like “Did you like your hometown?” they could just respond with a “yes” or “no,” which would make the conversation drier.
Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Throw something random out! All you have to do is say is "hey, quick question" or "hey, random thought." This gives you permission to bring up just about anything.
See all 2 Replies and
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you keep a conversation going with your crush over text?
    Julia McCurley
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Julia McCurley is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and the CEO of Something More, Austin's premier matchmaking service. She has been creating happy couples in Austin for over 12 years and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love. Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post, Good Men Project, SheKnows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth. She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker's Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love. Julia holds a BA in Business and Communications from The University of Puget Sound and received her Master Executive Matchmaker Certification from The Matchmaking Institute.
    Julia McCurley
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    If you run out of subjects to discuss, text something that you have in common with them, like a show you both like. For example, write something like, “Have you seen the latest episode of that TV show?"
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 19 Helpful 18
  • Question
    How do you fix a dry text conversation?
    Julia McCurley
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Julia McCurley is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and the CEO of Something More, Austin's premier matchmaking service. She has been creating happy couples in Austin for over 12 years and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love. Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post, Good Men Project, SheKnows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth. She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker's Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love. Julia holds a BA in Business and Communications from The University of Puget Sound and received her Master Executive Matchmaker Certification from The Matchmaking Institute.
    Julia McCurley
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Say something flirty and slightly suggestive, like saying you just got out of the shower and were thinking about him. Complimenting him is also a good way to renew the sparks!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Tips

      • Try writing down a couple of conversation ideas ahead of time. That way, if the conversation starts to fizzle out, you'll have something else you can quickly switch to. [18]
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      • I’ve had success with “Are you ready?” This will almost always get a response. But you’ve got to be ready to cash that cheque and have something good to follow it with.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/19/smarter-living/how-to-have-a-fun-conversation-again.html
      2. ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/7-ways-to-make-small-talk-way-more-interesting.html
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/19/smarter-living/how-to-have-a-fun-conversation-again.html
      4. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      5. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-keep-a-conversation-going-2011-1
      6. ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/7-ways-to-make-small-talk-way-more-interesting.html
      7. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      8. ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-start-a-conversation-over-text/
      9. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/13-ways-strengthen-relationship-texting/
      1. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      2. ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-start-a-conversation-over-text/
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/19/smarter-living/how-to-have-a-fun-conversation-again.html
      4. ↑ https://www.sweetyhigh.com/read/rekindle-conversation-with-crush-tips-043019
      5. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-keep-a-conversation-going-2011-1
      6. ↑ https://thetab.com/uk/2020/04/29/how-to-keep-a-conversation-going-with-your-romantic-interest-in-lockdown-154476
      7. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/13-ways-strengthen-relationship-texting/
      8. ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/7-ways-to-make-small-talk-way-more-interesting.html
      9. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/19/smarter-living/how-to-have-a-fun-conversation-again.html

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