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Saying hi to your crush can seem intimidating, and maybe you're not sure what to say after "hello." Luckily, there are lots of different things you can say to keep the conversation going. Avoid overthinking the timing of your hello and go right up to your crush, showing confidence. After you say hi, ask your crush a question about themselves, give them a compliment, or talk about something you both have in common.
Steps
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Add something on to your text besides just “Hello” to start a conversation. If you’re texting your crush, avoid sending a text that just says “hey.” This doesn’t tell your crush anything specific about why you’re talking to them and is hard to respond to. Even adding on a simple, “how are you?” after your hello is a better conversation starter. [1] X Research source- You could say, "Hey! Did you write down the homework for English today? I forgot to!" or "Hi Tyler, your science project looked awesome!"
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Ask your crush a question about their day to keep talking to them. Say your hello and then ask them something like, “How was the concert practice?” or “How did your English quiz go?” These questions begin a natural conversation and help you get to know your crush as you’re texting them. [2] X Research source- Asking questions is a good way to show your crush that you’re interested in what they have to say.
- You might ask, “Are you feeling better?” if your crush has been sick, or “What did you think of the field trip today?” if you went on a class trip.
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Text them a funny meme as your hello to make them smile. Find a meme that says hello for you, showing a picture of an animal or TV character. Find a meme that just says hello, pick one that demonstrates how you’re feeling, or choose one that talks about something that might have happened during the day. This is a cute way to say hi to your crush and start a conversation without having to put in too much effort. [3] X Research source- For example, pick out a meme of Joey from "Friends" with the caption, “how you doin?” or a simple meme of a cute sea animal saying hi.
- Funny memes are also a great way to show your creative side.
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Reach out to your crush on social media if you know their handle. Find your crush's profile on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or another form of social media to follow them. Send them a message or tag them in a post you think they might like to start up a conversation. [4] X Research source- For example, you might tag them in the comment section of a funny video so they'll get to watch it, saying, "This totally reminded me of you!" or something similar.
- Talking to your crush through social media while also texting them is okay.
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Avoid talking to them too late at night or too early in the morning. While it’s totally okay to text your crush outside of school hours, make sure you think about what time it is before talking to them. You don’t want to wake your crush up with your text by sending it too early or too late. Pick a time where they’re likely to be free and have time to talk, such as in the afternoon after school or the early evening. [5] X Research source
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Gather the courage to talk to your crush by giving yourself a pep talk. The thought of going up to your crush to say hello might be making you nervous. To help yourself find the courage to go up to them, remind yourself that your crush is a person just like you are, and talking to them shouldn't be any different than talking to anyone else. [6] X Expert Source JT Tran
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 May 2020. Put on a smile, take a deep breath, and focus on showing confidence. [7] X Research source- Count to three if you notice yourself hesitating to talk to your crush. Once you get to three, go right up to them!
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Give a quick hello when you pass them in the hallways. If you see your crush while you're walking somewhere and don’t have time for a real conversation, say hello and then their name so they know you’re talking to them. Smile as you say hello and try to make eye contact, showing that you’re friendly and would like to talk some other time. [8] X Research source- For example, if you see your crush as you’re walking to your seat, say, “Hey, Adam!” with a smile and keep walking.
- Speak loudly and clear enough so that your crush hears you.
- Not only does making eye contact make you look more confident, but it also helps spark a connection between the two of you.
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Go up to your crush when they're free to talk to avoid interrupting them. Going up to your crush to say hello can be nerve-racking, but if you see a moment when they're waiting outside of class or chatting with 1 or 2 people, go up to them! There's no need to overthink the timing, and being proactive about it will make you feel more confident and in control. [9] X Research source- Avoid going up to them if they're talking on the phone.
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Wait until they’re alone to talk to them in more depth. If you don’t mind talking to them when they’re with their friends, great! Otherwise, wait for them to be alone, like when they’re at their locker or waiting for a class to start. This puts less pressure on you and makes the conversation flow more naturally. [10] X Research source- If you just want to say a quick, “Hi, how are you?” instead of a longer conversation, it’s okay to talk to them when they’re around others.
- You might say something like, "Hi Jack, I wanted to ask you how your soccer game went last weekend! Did you guys win?"
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Ask them for their social media handle or phone number. If the conversation goes well or you just want to continue talking to them, ask for their phone number if you don’t already have it. You could also add them on social media like Instagram or Snapchat to talk to them there too. [11] X Research source- After talking about interesting books, you might say, “What’s your phone number? I’ll text you the names of a few other books I think you might like.”
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Give your crush a compliment to let them know what you like about them. Say hello and then compliment your crush, saying something like, “You did a great job in the basketball game last night!” or “Your Spanish presentation was great!” Simple compliments will help start a conversation while hinting that you like them. [12] X Research source- For a more direct compliment, you might say, “That shirt looks great on you!”
- Other compliments might be, "You have a great singing voice!" or "I really like the stickers on your laptop!"
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Bring up something you have in common for an easy conversation starter. This could be a class you both take or a sport you’re both interested in. If you already know of something you have in common with your crush, this is a great way to start a conversation after you say hello. [13] X Research source- Ask about a friend you both have in common or a show you both watch.
- You might say, “We have that history test coming up, how are you going to study for it?” or "Are you going to Sam's birthday party this weekend?"
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Talk about an event coming up to spark conversation. Maybe there’s a pep rally coming up or a play that’s going to take place. Bring up an activity that you might both be interested in that’s happening soon. This is a great way to continue talking, and you might even end up making plans to see each other at the event. [14] X Research source- For example, say, “Did you hear about the fundraiser happening this weekend? It sounds like fun!” or “I’m playing in the basketball game tomorrow, you should come!”
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Ask them questions about their family or hobbies to get to know them better. After saying hello, start asking them open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. You might ask about their siblings, what they do on the weekends, or who their favorite musicians are. By asking questions, you’ll show that you’re interested in their life while also getting to know them more. [15] X Research source- Ask something like, “What did you do over the weekend?” or “I'm out of Netflix shows, what're you currently watching?”
- Avoid questions that lead to yes or no answers to keep the conversation going.
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Comment on things around you if there's an awkward silence. If you find yourself in an awkward silence after saying hello, look around for something to comment on, such as your crush's backpack, clothing, or an activity happening around you and say something nice. This will help you start up a conversation quickly without the silence lasting too long. [16] X Research source- For example, you might say, "The buttons on your backpack are cool, where did you get each of them?" or "It looks like they're playing frisbee outside! Have you ever played?"
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Avoid trying too hard to keep talking if they text you one-word replies. If you text your crush and they respond with just one word like "Cool" or "K," this either means that they're super busy and just don't have time to talk right now, or they're not super interested in talking. Instead of trying to keep asking them questions to continue the conversation, send a simple emoji as a response or wait a little while to see if they want to talk then.- If they respond with "Good" and don't say anything else, you might send an emoji of a smiley face. If they respond to the emoji, great! If they don't, try texting them the next day.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat if he doesn't like me back?JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.All you can do is put yourself out there. You don't have any control beyond that. I know that's a little scary, but you're just going to have to be okay with it if the feelings aren't reciprocal.
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QuestionIs it better to be direct or suggestive?JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.It kind of depends on your personal style and how comfortable you are putting yourself out there. People process and react to things differently, so you want to take the other person's style and feelings into account. If you're just flirting and he's kind of shy, it may be better to be suggestive. If he's a confident, outspoken person, you may want to be more direct.
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QuestionHow do I ask a guy out if he's out of my league?JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.If your confidence isn't there, build it up first. Get to know him, let him see how cool you are, and remember that you're a catch. You could try pumping yourself up by putting on your cutest outfit, psyching yourself up, or using some kind of positive affirmation.
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References
- ↑ https://www.sweetyhigh.com/read/what-to-text-crush-083017
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVyNRfYxW4Q#t=1m12s
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/tips/g2366/flirty-texts/?slide=5
- ↑ https://www.sweetyhigh.com/read/flirt-with-crush-instagram-032018
- ↑ https://www.thelist.com/53749/the-right-way-wrong-way-text-crush/#
- ↑ JT Tran. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/sex-relationships/dating/ultimate-pep-talk-talking-your-crush
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a7604/best-flirting-tips/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DbCWcLbfj4#t=54s
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-skip-small-talk-and-have-deep-conversations-2015-12#have-some-deep-conversation-starters-on-hand-1
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DbCWcLbfj4#t=3m58s
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/tips/g2366/flirty-texts/?slide=1
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/tips/g2366/flirty-texts/?slide=2
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DbCWcLbfj4#t=1m20s
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DbCWcLbfj4#t=1m19s
- ↑ https://time.com/4817895/avoid-awkward-silences/
About This Article
Article Summary
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Saying hello to your crush can seem scary and intimidating, but if you can find the right moment and gather up the courage to do it, you’ll be surprised at how easy it can be. Look for the right moment when they’re free to talk so they're not distracted, like in between classes or during lunch. You should probably wait until they’re alone so you don’t feel the pressure of having other people watch. Then, work up the courage to talk to them by giving yourself a quick pep talk. Remind yourself that they’re a normal person just like you are, and it’s no big deal to go up to them and say hello. When the moment seems right, take a deep breath, walk over to them, and try saying some direct like, “Hey, how are you?” If they seem interested in talking to you, you can keep the conversation going from there. For tips about how to ask your crush questions to get to know them better, keep reading!
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