How to Stop Crushing on Someone You See Every Day

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

We’ve all experienced the heartache of trying to get over a crush. It’s hard enough when you only have to see them occasionally, but it can feel nearly impossible when you run into them every day in class or at work. Here's the good news—it’s definitely possible to get them off your mind with some self-compassion, a strong support network, and a little patience. Keep reading for a list of tactics to change your perception of your crush, put some space between you, and cope with your feelings in a healthy way so you can let them go.

1

Make a list of their imperfections.

PDF download Download Article
  1. We tend to focus on the positives of our crush, like their hilarious jokes or their killer smile. Try brainstorming a list of their flaws. You’ll see that your perception of them wasn’t fully grounded in reality, and their magic over you will start to fade. [1] Include anything you can think of, like:
    • Their friends are obnoxious
    • They are already in a relationship
    • They obsess over a TV show you hate
    2. Advertisement
2

Get off of social media.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s tempting to keep looking at their profiles, but your feelings won’t pass if you keep seeing them at their most photogenic and interesting. Set time limits on your social apps to cut down on scrolling, or unfollow your crush to avoid an unexpected post.
    • You already have to see this person everyday, so think of your social media as a safe space from them. You’ll only prolong your grief and attraction if you keep scrolling past their face outside of work or class. [2]
3

Pretend your crush is just an acquaintance.

PDF download Download Article
  1. You can still be polite and kind to them, but you have no motivation to interact with them outside of basic manners. With time, this will prevent your feelings from transforming into anger or resentment towards the person. [3]
    • If you know your crush too well for this trick, try pretending they’re someone else close to you. How would you react if it was a friend or sibling that waved at you from across the street? A coworker? A classmate?
    2. Advertisement
4

Limit contact with your crush as much as you can.

PDF download Download Article
  1. [4] Sit in a different desk or office space to put them at a physical distance. Skip any parties or office happy hours where you know they’ll be, and find new bars, coffee shops, or hangout spots if you know they’re a regular at your old haunts. [5]
    • If you’ve been physically intimate with your crush before, keep your relationship completely platonic going forward. More sensual encounters will only make it harder to get over your feelings and move on. [6]
    • Make your home a safe space and get rid of any gifts, photos, or other objects that remind you too much of the person. [7]
5

Say you “like” the person instead of “love.”

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you say you “love” someone, it raises the stakes if your crush doesn’t like you back. Instead, just say “like.” It takes the pressure off and makes your crush seem less special compared to everyone else. [8] Use “like” when you talk to friends about your crush:
    • “I like spending time with him.”
    • “I like the way she laughs.”
    • “I like when I bump into him in the hallway.”
    2. Advertisement
6

Talk about your crush with friends or family.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Tell your best friend or a trusted family member what you like about the person, how sad or angry you feel, or all the future dates and milestones you pictured. Get it all out of your system so you can move on. [9]
    • Talking about your problems with friends and family is a way to let them know what’s happening in your life and that you might need some extra support while you work through this. It’s OK to use your support system and ask for help!
    • Talking about your crush will help normalize your feelings. If you keep it all inside, you might grow embarrassed or ashamed of how you feel and it will take longer to heal.
7

Journal about your feelings.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s a time for you to focus on yourself, organize your thoughts, and gain some clarity about your feelings. Journaling can reduce stress, clear your mind, and help overcome negative thoughts, even if it’s just a temporary break from daydreaming about your crush. [10]
    • You don’t have to keep the journal entry forever. Tear the page out and throw it away afterwards if you don’t want a permanent record of your most secret thoughts.
    2. Advertisement
8

Focus on new hobbies and self-care.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Keep busy and find activities you excel at and make you feel empowered and confident. It could be running 10Ks, cross-stitching, or trying the newest recipe from Bon Appétit. The goal is to remind yourself that there are plenty of other fish in the sea, but you are the only you. [11]
    • Hobbies are just one form of self-care. Take naps, binge your favorite TV shows, meditate, or do whatever other activities make you feel good, refreshed, and whole while you process your feelings.
9

Substitute a new thought when your crush is on your mind.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Just change the course of your thinking to stop fantasizing about what could have been or dwelling on a relationship that isn’t going to happen. This helps you heal and move on faster. [12] Here are some examples of how to shift your train of thought:
    • Instead of letting yourself imagine a romantic wine night with them, start thinking about a trip to a vineyard with your closest friends.
    • If you can’t stop focusing on the way they did their hair today, try picturing yourself in a salon chair and playing with different styles and colors.
    • Did they say your name recently and you can’t stop re-hearing it? Imagine your favorite musician screaming your name from the stage instead.
    2. Advertisement
10

Look at yourself from their point of view.

PDF download Download Article
  1. You may not have those romantic feelings, but that doesn’t mean you think they’re weird, ugly, or undateable. Show yourself some self-compassion and remember that you’re not defective because they don’t reciprocate your feelings. [13]
    • Try looking at your interactions through their lens too. To you, a quick “hello” might be heart stopping. To them, it’s just a polite gesture. Try to operate on their level and cool your thoughts and actions to match the reality of the relationship.
11

Meet new people.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Putting yourself out there can give you some romantic optimism while you work through hard feelings. The worst case scenario is that you end up with a new friend or acquaintance and briefly distract yourself from spiraling over your crush. [14]
    • There’s no need to jump into a new relationship right away to get over your crush. It’s enough to just explore what’s out there.
    2. Advertisement
12

Set limits on how much you talk about your crush.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you feel yourself obsessing, try distracting yourself with your favorite activities or take a trip with friends or family. It can be very healing to do something you enjoy with the people who do care about you. [15]
    • Shift your energy toward accepting the situation for what it really is and acknowledge, “what I am looking for is not going to happen with this person.” You will probably still feel sad for a time, but this acceptance will let you grieve the lost possibility and then move on. [16]
13

Remember your life outside of your crush.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Those things are still yours with or without your crush, and they shouldn’t replace everything that’s already in your life. If you’re focusing so much on your crush that you’re neglecting other things that are important to you, it’s time to accept that it isn’t going to work out and move on. [17]
    2. Advertisement
14

Acknowledge that these feelings are temporary.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s natural to take a while to bounce back, and these feelings might be prolonged just because you have to see them frequently. Hold on to the fact that you will feel better soon, and your crush won’t seem perfect and alluring to you forever. [18]
    • You’re not alone in your feelings. Almost everyone has experienced the pain of moving on from a crush, and they’ve all lived to tell the tale. You will too!
15

Focus on substance-free coping mechanisms.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you find yourself binge drinking or doing recreational drugs frequently, you may need to reevaluate how you process your feelings. Reach out to friends, family, or a substance use professional if you feel your coping mechanisms have gotten out of control. [19]
    • A drunk text or DM to your crush can be embarrassing and make it even harder to move on, especially if you have to see them everyday. Ditch the booze while you’re thinking about them to avoid making a mistake you’ll regret later.
    • Prolonged drug or alcohol use while you’re depressed might lead to self-harm or suicidal thoughts in extreme cases.
    2. Advertisement
16

See a therapist if your feelings are unmanageable.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s normal to feel low for days or weeks, but it’s time to speak to a professional if you can’t work through it on your own and your usual support systems are not helping. [20] Signs it might be time to see a therapist or a counselor might be:
    • You feel depressed or sad for all or most of the day, most days of the week.
    • Your feelings are preventing you from enjoying your favorite things and activities.
    • Your feelings are affecting your ability to work, succeed in school, socialize with your friends or family, or get along with people.

Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series

Crushing over someone you can't have is both draining and distracting. Learn how to move past these feelings and take back control of your life with this expert series.
1
Stop Being in Love With a Person You'll Never Meet
2
Effective Ways to Get Over Someone You Love
3
How to Get Over Someone You Can't Have or Never Dated
4
Stop Loving the Girl of Your Dreams
5
Stop Liking Someone
6
Overcome an Infatuation

Community Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    There's a boy in my class, and I have had a crush on him for over two years. I really want to get over him, but I just can’t.
    ItzTheEvEv
    Community Answer
    List things you DON’T like about him. It may slowly help you realize he might be better as a friend or just a classmate.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 3 Helpful 4
  • Question
    Can a 5th grader date a 6th grader?
    Community Answer
    Yes, if they like each other and all the parents are OK with it.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0
  • Question
    I have a crush on my neighbor, but I'm in a relationship with the Love of My Life. I'm not making it obvious that I like the neighbor, and I'm actually avoiding him. However, I'm still attracted to him. What should I do?
    TheGenZArtist
    Community Answer
    If you let your partner know about your crush, they should help you feel validated by acknowledging your feelings and not pressuring you to get over your crush fast. Having his support can help you get over your feelings for your neighbor.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 2
See more answers
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      Why Do I Get So Attached Easily? 8 Potential Reasons & How to Deal with It
      11 Ways to Trigger the Hero Instinct
      How Can You Tell When Someone’s Thinking About You?
      13 Ways to Not Catch Feelings
      What to Write In a Sympathy Card: For Friends, Family, Coworkers, & More
      How to
      Calm Down an Angry Person over Text
      15 Easy Ways to Earn the Respect of Others
      How to
      Give Someone a Guilt Trip
      How to
      Gain Control of Your Emotions
      Why Does Love Hurt? An Expert Guide to Dealing with Affection & Heartbreak
      What Does Greening Out Mean?
      How to
      Find Out if a Person Actually Misses You
      14 Tips to Help You Deal with the Guilt after Cheating on Your Partner
      How False Accusations in a Relationship Impact Your Mental Health
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/head-games/201806/3-ways-get-over-your-ex
      2. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a22617662/when-your-crush-is-taken/
      3. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone/
      4. ↑ https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zm9ry9q
      5. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/03/moving-on-getting-over-a-crush
      6. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a22617662/when-your-crush-is-taken/
      7. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone/
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201209/adolescence-and-the-teenage-crush
      9. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-get-over-a-crush
      1. ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/journaling_to_reduce_stress
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-practical-and-spiritual-tips-for-letting-go-of-unhealthy-attachments#7
      3. ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/16808/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone/
      4. ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/16808/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone/
      5. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a22617662/when-your-crush-is-taken/
      6. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-get-over-a-crush
      7. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/03/moving-on-getting-over-a-crush
      8. ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/16808/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone/
      9. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-get-over-a-crush
      10. ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/16808/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone/
      11. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-get-over-a-crush

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 149,985 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Kae'kona L.

        Jan 31

        "I liked this guy at ju jitsu. He was asian cute and all, but I wasn't focusing on my progress, so when I was ..." more
        Rated this article:
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement